<p>This is now my favorite CC thread, both for the insecurities all parents harbor and the perspective that comes in hindsight. As they say, parenting is the only test you're judged on 20 years after you're done.</p>
<p>Regrets? Oh yeah. </p>
<p>My son, very bright but not the most motivated, complained all through 4th grade that his teacher was mean and unfair. I'd speak to the principal who assured me she was a good teacher, etc, and my perspective was always that we have to deal with what life deals us - I don't get to pick my boss, and we all have to learn how to make the best of what is in front of us. At a parent/teacher conference, she said DS was very bright but not challenged, and recommended we investigate a highly-gifted private school. Had DS tested and he did meet the IQ qualifications, so we jumped through hoops in the application process, but were not admitted at the end of it all. I later learned from a GC at the school that the same teacher wrote, in her recommendation to the school, that DS not be admitted as he would be unsuccessful. In the end, it was probably a good thing, but it certainly reflected that she was NOT in my son's corner. There's more, but, I do think she marred his zest for learning.</p>
<p>We're now at the college application process and while he's still testing well, he does only what he needs to get by, procrastinating all the way. I'm confident he'll find new energy in college and finally blossom, and I take heart in what CC's Blossom shares with her perspective.</p>
<p>Now, if I can only get DS interested in the schools I know will allow him to thrive and not fight the process!!!</p>
<p>As a parent of 3 daughters who are totally different in terms of personality and interests, I find this thread so interesting. All 3 attended a progressive, child-centered private elementary school...and, as a result, we were shown very early that each child is unique. D1 set the pace...eventually selecting (thru mutual agreement) to attend an all girl secondary school. D2 started out as our painfully shy child...who remained an extra yr in preschool...and, believe it or not, has blossomed into a social being. She followed her sister's path looking for a more challenging classroom experience. Everyone expected D3 to follow suit. In the summer after 4th grade, D3 was tested and diagnosed with an expressive language LD. After many discussions, H & I decided that her path would be different. The writing program at the single gender school would have overwhelmed her...and it was not worth the damage to her self-esteem. Today, D3 attends a coed progressive secondary school that has provided her with the support and encouragement to reach her challenges. Yes, she spends extra time on her essays and writing assignments...but, her self-esteem is intact. It was one of the best decisions we made. And her sisters? They followed their own roads...attending totally different colleges...one in chemistry and the other studying engineering. Next yr, D3 will begin her search...it will be interesting. ;)</p>
In a nutshell, don't regret anything that you have done (or not done) for your children. We'll turn out fine. We appreciate and respect almost everything that you do, even if we often complain rather than give out hugs.<br>
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<p>Beautifully said! You're a wonderful D and a wonderful writer! :)</p>
<p>What an encouraging thread! Things have changed so much since I was in HS. I don't think my parents spend a collective two minutes pondering my HS course selections. I took what I wanted. At the end of the day, I didn't have enough social studies credits for several schools (zero helpful input from GC) but as it turned out, only one state school had my major and I was okay on courses there.</p>
<p>Skullduggery--your post made my day! Beautiful!</p>
<p>About the time the kids turned 2, I realized I no longer knew what was "best" for them--they had little minds and lives of their own. My parenting has been mostly laissez-faire, with some nudging along the way. </p>
<p>Mistakes? A few, but they made some too, so we're probably even.</p>
<p>Yes, if only they came with an owner's manual...but they're all different models!</p>
<p>I want to 2nd what Anita posted in post 35.
A friend with an Asperger's child had her child do a summer session with College Living Experience his jr year. It gave him and them a chance to see how he would do living away from home.
They have made the decision to start college also through College living experience. I think she told me they have locations across the US.</p>
<p>As fantastic as College Living Experience sounds, it costs*** $33,500 ***per year...that is on top of the college's cost for tuition, housing and fees. I don't think I can swing $70,000 per year for college. I think if your child is "really bad off" (i.e. the applicable state or federal vocational rehab agency is willing to take him on as a client), the government will pay some or all of the cost.</p>
<p>missypie- the woman I know is well off. But the child is not going to be living in an on-campus dorm. The child lives at CLE and eats his meals there. He is also starting out at a community college. This is a extremely gifted young man who could not have handled going away to college with a traditional dorm enviroment. For this family and young man it gives him the chance to have a college experience with support and without the stress of on campus lving and without having to live at home.</p>