<p>quaker4life: I didn't think the Ivy League attracts students like that. You better get a new roommate.</p>
<p>kingofqueens: Usually true but any private university will attract such a type.</p>
<p>yes, the ivy league does have people that want to have fun.</p>
<p>I was actually referring to rude people, not people that want to have fun.</p>
<p>CaseSpartan10: It doesn't seem that this girl's psychotic roommate is about having fun- but she is incredibly rude and likely is used to getting what she wants.</p>
<p>Um, obviously I'm the only one that thinks this situation isn't bad at all. Everyone should have time for socializing, and sometimes that is in your room. She has the same rights to use the room for her purposes, so obviously you guys need to reach a compromise. Tell her to go to others' rooms some of the time and you can go to the library some of the time. You guys have a major difference in personality, and both of you view each other as rude. I would suggest a roommate switch if possible, but I don't see that she is doing anything wrong. You are over-reacting, and I understand why she is upset for you bringing the RA in. Make a better effort to communicate with her personally.</p>
<p>And to the posters who think that Ivys/top institutions are quiet sanctuaries of just studying, you have a lot to learn.</p>
<p>Oh, and if you saw the Facebook message me and my roommate sent each other freshman year explaining our habits/behaviors, they were MUCH MUCH different than what they turned out to be.</p>
<p>Come on dude, you should've at least had a serious sit-down chat with her before reporting to the RA. Now you've earned a reputation as a snitch throughout you're dorm, and over a trivial matter too. You have a ton of lounges and the library to study, and you're roommate is paying for room and board too. I mean, I'd understand complaining if she was bringing drugs or alcohol into the room or sexiling you repeatedly, but her actions are a part and parcel of having roommates. The way you are expecting her to accommodate you shows a ton of presumptuousness on your part.Horrible way to start out college.</p>
<p>I agree with the last two posters. I don't think this is a terrible situation and with an open and honest conversation between the two of you, there is a very good chance that all of this will be able to be worked out. I don't see her roommate as being selfish or satanic. </p>
<p>In addition, if the poster is truly a Quaker for Life, a bit more understanding and less judging of other people should be practiced. In this world, you are going to be surrounded with people that believe differently than you and have different ideas and experiences. College is a time to explore and learn to understand people with different backgrounds from yourself. It takes some "open mindedness" and tolerance. </p>
<p>If your roommate is coming home between 1-3am during the weekend, it's not a big deal. If it's happening during the week, then it is something that the two of you should discuss. Borrowing your chair to offer to a visiting guest doesn't sound rude unless you've specifically asked her not to use it. As long as you are not using the chair at the time, it shouldn't be a problem. Bringing friends back to the room to socialize is normal--as long as it's not 1-3am during the school week. </p>
<p>The dorm study lounges and the library are available as quiet retreats for studying and reading. You might be able to meet some people there as well and make some friends. My feeling is that once you begin to make friends and spend less time in your room, you will focus less on your roommate on more on your own college experience. Good luck and I'm pretty sure all of this "blow over" in a couple of weeks. Try to look for the good rather then focus on the bad. </p>
<p>How did the meeting go with the Housing Dean?</p>
<p>Define study hours for your room. You'll both have to make concessions in this situation because you won't be able to study whenever you want, and she will have to respect the agreed upon study times. Do you have to fill out a roommate contract? If so, make it a part of that. Be specific.</p>
<p>i moved out so problem resolved. i just know that next time, either i get a single or definitely have some firm and established guidelines that both a roommate and i can have to promote the fullest level of respect.</p>
<p>thanks anyway, fellow cc-ers.</p>
<p>Set a contract.</p>
<p>The room definitely should not be totally off limits to friends, but at the same time you can agree on some reasonable cutoff -- no loud talking after 11 pm or something.</p>
<p>Glad you moved out. Better for you and her. </p>
<p>But if you didn't move I have only one word of advice for you ... </p>
<p>COUGH!</p>
<p>nysmile: Good advice but the reason why her username is "quaker4life" is because she's a Penn student, not because she's a practicing Quaker.</p>
<p>This thread is an example of why compromise is good.</p>
<p>hahaha! Oh well, my advice still stands.</p>
<p>Which dorm, quaker4life?</p>
<p>Ahh Mondo...this post "Your roommate sounds like a lot of the people I know at Duke (where I attend): very spoiled and self-centered: both traits are brought on by wealth and innate personality." makes me really nervous. I'm planning on applying to Duke ED and academically it has everything I'm looking for, but I am worried about how I'll fit in socially. I'm a rather outgoing and open person, but if I'm surrounded by selfish and spoiled I don't know if I'd be able to take it!! Ahh...</p>