<p>So my roommate is the devil. She comes in late at night after partying at 1-3am and has no consideration when I'm asleep by making all these noises. I told her to at least be more quiet when she comes in, but then she accuses me of ruining her college experience and "mom-ing" her. </p>
<p>Also when I try to study, she brings her friends in and starts talking loudly. She is completely aware that I'm studying and even interrupts to ask if she can take some of my spoons to use to eat. I decide to go try to find somewhere else to study, and when I walk right out the door, I can hear her laughing about it and I'm 99.99% sure it was about me. I went back in later and asked if I could have the room to myself to study, and she first told me to go to the library. But then I said that I was studying in the room first and she was aware of that and should respect it. She reluctantly left and when she passed me she went like, "UGHHH," right in my face. I understand that she has 1/2 of the room, but I think if someone's studying, the roommate should have some respect and probably go socialize somewhere else.</p>
<p>ALSO, she is psychotic. One day my stomach wasn't feeling too good after I ate something bad, and she flipped. She went to sleep in her friend's room. Then the next day, she texted me 4 times to ask if I was sure I wasn't sick anymore so that she can come back in. I felt a lot better and was perfectly fine, so she came back in. Except when I came back in literally 2 hrs, she started to complain that her stomach and starts to blame it on me. I left the room for dinner and then when I came back she was crying hysterically on the phone to her mom about it. Then she admitted she has an anxiety disorder and is always afraid of getting germs. So if you're THAT afraid of getting germs, then why are you in a double.</p>
<p>So someone out there, please take the time to give some advice?</p>
<p>I can't give you any advice, but I can definetly relate. I am always in my room studying, and my roommate seems to believe that playing mortal combat is more important than studying. He tried pulling over the whole "theres a library" routine, and I took it to em. I told him that there is also 400 other rooms in the residence hall, and he can take it elsewhere. I asked him how he justifies the fact that playing super Nintendo is more important than studying. I embarrassed the **** out of him in front of this little girl he met, and frankly, I don't care. He can go **** his parents money against the wall for a semester, but I sure as hell won't let it effect me.</p>
<p>And just so no one thinks I'm too much of a dick, I have tried negotiating with the guy. He's my old friend from high school, and he knows how hard I work, so when I asked him not to bring anyone into the room, and he agrees, then goes against his word, **** aint gonna fly.</p>
<p>My only advice is to not take her garbage, and if you believe that she is that mentally unstable, let someone around campus know about it. There are places for students with those issues to go. It just sounds to me like your roommate is a little odd and overly dramatic. Her antics make her sound like a child.</p>
<p>Well, just to play the other side, how would you feel if you were in their position? Your room is supposed to be that place to come home to and relax but what's the point if you have to walk on eggshells as to not disturb your roommate who's studying all the time. It's a bit childish to be like "Oh you can definitely hang out and have fun somewhere else." Your roommate pays for room & board too. There are study lounges and libraries for a reason. I highly doubt that colleges would build rooms for the sole purpose of studying. Otherwise, the aforementioned wouldn't exist. I think it's a bit selfish on both sides. </p>
<p>...but anyway, to the OP. I think it's time you found another room and/or roommate situation. It's early enough in the semester where your residential office can arrange something.</p>
<p>So umm, I went to my RA and talked about it. My RA said that all 3 of us have to talk about this together. My roommate found out, stormed in, and started screaming and cursing at me. She blames me as the reason why our RA doesn't like her, but honestly I never said anything bad about her to the RA until yesterday. She said, "I can't believe you went to the RA at least you should've left a post-it note." But don't I have the right to talk to an RA? Aren't RA's there to help us in situations like this?</p>
<p>Then she continues to say condescendingly, "I don't understand why you study so much. Stop studying so much and chill. Or why don't you go to the libraries in the city, I bet there are tons of them that are open all night." But seriously, I came to an Ivy League school to get a good education, and I plan to make the best out of it. So I don't see why she would tell me to stop studying, especially in the room. Even though there are lounges and study rooms, there are way more places to socialize than there are places to study.</p>
<p>So today we have to go talk to the House Dean about this. Ugh, this is a mess. I envy all of you CCers who have roommates who can respect.</p>
<p>There are always two sides to a story. I understand that you are studious and value your quiet time and you see this situation through your eyes. Someone from the outside may see your situation a little differently. College is not only a time to get a quality academic experience but also a time to grow socially. Meeting new people and spending time hanging out and talking is also part of college. The trick is finding a balance between the two.
Compromise! Most kids do their reading and studying in the library. It's quiet, comfortable, and not as constricting as being cramped at a desk in a small dorm room and the distractions are fewer. Go to the library in between classes to get your reading and assignments done. When you get back to the dorm room at the end of the school day, relax knowing that your work is done. Invite some friends over to watch a movie or whatever. Use your dorm room as your living space and the library as your work space. The two of you could also agree that the night before an exam, the room will be kept quiet. Use the Library for work and the dorm room for relaxing and socializing. Just a thought.
It takes time to get used to sharing a living space. Just as you want her to be understanding of you, you should be understanding of her. If you can both compromise, there's a good chance this situation will resolve itself. This is an adjustment period for both of you.</p>
<p>you guys should have divided your time. sometimes you can study in the room while she hangs out elsewhere, and sometimes you can study in the library while she hangs out in your room.</p>
<p>Don't be afraid to pursue it (doesn't sound like you are), it's not worth it to remember your whole first year of college as traumatizing. Trust me, I know.</p>
<p>I've had to deal with the inconsiderate smelly turd of a roommate(if it weren't for the curse filters you'd see what I really think of him) again this year because he likes popping up randomly while I'm headed to class (oh and he decided to be in the same residence hall as me this year, what fun!).</p>
<p>For me it's become an emotional scar and it's feels permanent. I think I blocked out a good 80% of it, but it all comes back when I see that egotistical ---face or one of his friends that liked to gather in our room and get drunk or high or both on a weekday at 5 am while I'm a foot away jamming my earplugs further into my ears so I can get some sleep.</p>
<p>You would not believe the amount of hours I spent in the library, the gym, the student center, just to avoid that room.</p>
<p>The mess will be worth it, in fact I strongly recommend a room switch in your case because she sounds like a psychob--ch.</p>
<p>quaker4life, while it's her fault for being inconsiderate, you must realize that the room IS a place for people to bring their friends in and socialize. Of course, it is also a place for you to study quietly. So the best solution is to split 50-50. You can't be the only one who has a say over the noise environment in the room.</p>
<p>It's hard to have a roommate who is an opposite in lifestyle. It sounds like you have different ideas about spending time and college life in general. </p>
<p>I have to tell you, my son goes to the library to study all the time. He says it just isn't condusive to study in the dorm room and there are too many distractions. He prefers the library so it's not a problem. </p>
<p>It is a good idea for you all to sit down and set some ground rules for living comfortably together for now. Maybe as time goes on you can switch roommates with someone else you meet that is more like yourself and she can move one of her friends into your place. In the mean time, talking together with the RA and coming to some sort of understanding would be beneficial for you both.</p>
<p>Clearly you guys don't agree on what the room is to be used for. Some people, like you, view the room as a quiet sanctuary for relaxing by one's self and studying. Other people, like your roommate, think the room's a great place for socializing. If you guys can't decide which it's going to be, one of you ought to move.</p>
<p>Why not work out a plan where you alternate nights or weeks for priority in using the room as a way of compromising? In this situation, neither of you is entirely right or wrong. You certainly have the right to use your room to study, and your roommate can socialize elsewhere. But the room is also your roommate's home and the roommate has a right to relax and entertain there as well. The campus and your dorm both have ample places to study and to socialize.</p>
<p>What she said when I first met her is that she doesn't plan to have many people in the room. She said she wanted to use it as a private place. But she brings so many people still and uses all of my stuff without asking me. My dad bought this really nice chair for me, and she and her friends keep moving it to her side and eat on it.</p>
<p>quaker4life: Your roommate sounds like a lot of the people I know at Duke (where I attend): very spoiled and self-centered: both traits are brought on by wealth and innate personality. It's amazing that she has so many friends in the first place.</p>
<p>I would definitely transfer into a new room as soon as possible- she has to learn that her behavior is unacceptable. Maybe you leaving will put some sense into her.</p>
<p>i am so glad my best friend is my roommate and he's not like that at all
u have to stick it to her that what she is doing is unacceptable and that she has to stop acting like spoiled brat. u have as much right as her and if she keeps disrespecting u, uve got to draw the line. the truth may hurt to her but its necessary. and u said u talked to ur RA so how did that go?</p>