<p>My daughter, who lives with her mother, will be a freshman this year and her mother and I are supposed to split college costs. I am glad to support her and have never had issues with helping her. My problem is that my ex won't give me any information at all relative to financial aid. I know she filed a FAFSA and it has been processed, and she refuses to let me see it. I can't plan how to pay for school if I don't know what I'm expected to pay. When my daughter gets her award letter I will have to fight to see that, too. I'll have to go to court, but I'm just wondering how many others out there have been through a similar experience. I am a parent who has to take his ex to court to force her to give him information so he can help pay for his daughter's school.</p>
<p>How did she file a Fafsa without your income/assets information? And what does your divorce agreement stipulate with regard to your obligations?</p>
<p>
FAFSA does not require any non custodial parent information.</p>
<p>What a tricky situation. Have you tried talking to your daughter? The financial aid information is hers not her mothers. Make it quite clear to her that you are perfectly willing to pay your fair share of her college cost that are not already covered by aid from the college, but that you need to know what that amount is.</p>
<p>Not to be a complete idiot, but I don’t understand why the OP would have to go to court. Can’t he just say “I will only pay toward tuition if I can see input and results from the financial aid process”?</p>
<p>I have tried talking to my daughter, and her mother has taken complete control of the situation and my daughter didn’t even know she should have her own PIN to access her FAFSA. I don’t want to put her in the middle but I have told her she needs to be more involved since she is the student. I have made it very clear to my ex that I need, and have a right to, the information, but it’s always a runaround and I never get anywhere. I know that it will end up in court which is ridiculous since I’ll end up seeing the documents then anyway, and it will only cause my daughter stress.</p>
<p>It’s not clear from the OP, so pardon my ignorance, but DOES the custodial parent expect the contribution? Is it possible that the daughter got a scholarship or so much financial aid that it’s no longer required?</p>
<p>MidwestMom, I see what you are saying, but there are two drawbacks to that. One, she will tell my daughter I am refusing to pay and use that to create problems between us, and two, she will then take me to court anyway claiming I am refusing to pay. She’d rather haul me to court under false pretenses than give me the information. All roads are leading to the courthouse.</p>
<p>Is there something in your divorce decree or custody agreement that requires you to pay for college?</p>
<p>zoosermom, yes, she is expecting me to pay, which I have no problem with, it’s not knowing how much I am supposed to pay. And I don’t trust her to just take her word for what I owe, and it wouldn’t surprise me if my daughter got aid and my ex didn’t tell me so that I ended up paying more than my share.</p>
<p>BlueDanube, I’m not at all an expert or even slightly knowledgeable with this, but why not have a lawyer draft a letter for you – or have a lawyer send the letter on your behalf – asking for the info you’re looking for? That way, one of two things will happen: (1) You’ll get the necessary info and you will know what you have to pay, or (2) You won’t get the info but you will have stated in writing that you need the info and that you’re willing to pay your share.</p>
<p>zoosermom, the agreement doesn’t get specific on who pays what share for what costs. I am trying to work out something specific with my ex but am getting nowhere with that, either.</p>
<p>If your daughter is over 18, are you sure you have any obligation at all? Beyond the fact that you are a good father, of course. Perhaps you could have your daughter contact the school and get a copy of the award letter for you.</p>
<p>OP…sounds like you’re creating more angst where there doesn’t need to be. Your daughter is just about an adult at this point. Send them both an e-mail, stating that you are more than happy to help fund your daughter’s education, and ask what the expected tuition will be after awards/loans (if applicable) so that you can make arrangements with mom to share in the cost of the education. Tell the mom in the e-mail that you would like to have the tuition bill for your records. Tell your daughter in the same e-mail that, should she have any questions or concerns about her tuition to call or e-mail you. Then your ex can’t “tell” your daughter anything.</p>
<p>VeryHappy, that’s exactly where things are right now. Still no response. Next step will be court because I think she will have to be legally forced to give me the info. </p>
<p>It sounds like nobody else has gone through a similar situation?</p>
<p>Doesn’t it cost her extra legal fees to not give you the info and then have to go to court, only to wind up giving you the info?</p>
<p>What’s in it for her? Just to annoy you?</p>
<p>bluedanube -
your daughter can get the information directly from her school. Many schools put in up online now so she should be able to see it.</p>
<p>If there’s no binding agreement or order, I’m wondering if you actually can force this in the court. If you’re looking to make a voluntary contribution, she may not have to give you any information.</p>
<p>Yes, VeryHappy, that’s exactly what’s in it for her. Her having info that I need or want is a power play for her. She’d rather pay court costs than give me this info. Isn’t it ridiculous? I’d think she’d be grateful to have an ex who wants to help and not make it so difficult.</p>
<p>Well, try to let it take more energy out of her than out of you. Let her bathe in the negativity of it all. You just do what you want to do and have to do, and let her play her little games. You’re the bigger person for it.</p>
<p>What was the last communication you had with her? Has she said since your daughter’s admission that she expects money from you? The best thing really would be to have your daughter get the information and deal directly with the college. I don’t see why you would need any information other than what your daughter was awarded versus the cost of attendance, and the same for your ex. What am I missing?</p>