I tried to post this a few minutes ago but does not seem to have gone through - sorry if this is a duplicate.
My daughter got into Exeter and a few other schools. She is leaning heavily towards Exeter because she is a very academic kid and so felt it was a good fit. We are expecting it to be challenging but she and we are a bit concerned about the stress level there. So to ask bluntly - is the environment overwhelmingly high stress and/or competitive in a negative way? Or is that a smaller part of the culture there that a student can void if desired and really enjoy being at the school? Are the students generally supportive of each other?
Would love to hear from anyone who has first hand experience, especially current students and parents or recent grads/parents.
Thanks!
This seems to be THE most often asked question about Exeter. It was a major concern of ours. The answer seems to generally be the same. The stress that is there is self inflicted. Super smart kids with very high expectations of themselves=stressed kids. These kids would be stressed at public school. Students are not competitive and are very supportive of each other. They hold study groups, go to peer tutoring and help each other in the dorms or at lunch. My kids isn’t generally stressed at all, but he is a laid back kind of kid. He is however BUSY. There is a lot of work. He generally does 2 hours of study hall plus uses free time during the day to get work done.
My son LOVES it there. He had several choices last year and we feel now, that it was the right one. He is comfortable but has plenty of room to grow.
Feel free to PM.
Thank you @momof3swimmers
That is really reassuring to hear. Especially that he loves it there! We expect a ton of work but as long as the kids there are generally supportive of each other and it’s not a negatively competitive environment, I think she will love it too.
Another longtime PEA parent here. 2 of my favorite examples of kindness between classmates are from a college admission cycle a few years ago.
- When our DS was denied ED from MIT and one of his dorm mates was accepted. He told us calmly that “ted” needs it more than me.
- One of the kids was accepted to Harvard ED- he didn’t share the news with his friends immediately because they had received negative ED news. They only found out when one saw that he had joined an admitted student page for Harvard.
Honestly, having experienced PEA as well as LPS, as a parent, the kids are hands down way less competitive with each other. This holds true in academics, leadership roles, college admission and sports.
Feel free to PM be with additional questions.
Thank you, @vegas1.
We had pretty much decided on Exeter this weekend after our daughter said it was the best fit for her but then I started getting cold feet today. So helpful to see your comments.
@Charcat56 Are you going to/have you gone to one of the Exeter revisits? You could find out a bit more about the environment there.
@Ravenclaw3 - yes, we did. We found it hard to get a really good feel about that in just one day.