I am also a swim mom with some parent time put into the sport. There is a swim culture in and out of the pool. It is the coaches responsibility to establish the norms for what happens in the pool. There may jockeying for position in the pool but there is definitely proper etiquette for passing in the lane and lots of other things that occur in the pool. The coachs’ job is to establish behavioral expectations to ensure swimmers do NOT get hurt in the practice or in competition. Surely this is the most basic of requirements for a coach/team experience.
As well, on many swim teams the men and women practice together, though I do not know about the UVA team specifically.