<p>The Onion video is a hoot!</p>
<p>On the topic of boarding schools and facebook, here’s a youtube classic featuring some Hotchkiss kids: [YouTube</a> - FACEBOOK Music Video](<a href=“http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfx-j2HEmSs]YouTube”>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfx-j2HEmSs)</p>
<p>I’m not on my 15 yo FB. We share a lot of relatives in common, but thats about it. She is mature, incredibly responsible, and principled. I’ve never had any reason to distrust her judgment nor closely monitor her (online or in person). Sure she might make a mistake here or there, but nothing that is going to end the world and I can’t control her flubs (online or in real life). But she is also not someone who collects friends on FB (she actually deletes more than she adds, preferring only those she really has a relationship with in real life). </p>
<p>So to me it’s no different than the fact that I don’t attend her social functions with her peers, joining her neighborhood friends when she’s in the rec room, or partaking in her hallway convos at school, nor see where she surfs online. I don’t read her email or regular mail either. Nor her diary. </p>
<p>For us it’s just a respect and privacy thing and she’s at an age where she doesn’t want to be my FB friend.</p>
<p>As a condition when he set it up, I am a friend on my son’s FB acct. I have enjoyed the pictures and updates and have occasionally asked him to watch what he says there…teachable moments. </p>
<p>Our compromise is that I never comment, but I will chat or send a message to his inbox. Also, I refuse friend requests from his friends and he refuses friend requests from all other adults unless he wants to friend them and I approve, but there is only one adult he wanted to friend. I really don’t want grandparents worrying needlessly about anything they read there…not that it is bad, but some stuff could be easily misinterpreted by someone a couple of generations removed. </p>
<p>Aunts, Uncles, other adult friends can feel free to ask me how he’s doing and I will occasionally post a picture or two on my page. If they really want to connect with him, they can call, or e-mail or send cookies, or wait until break. </p>
<p>He is much relieved by this policy as I have told him to ignore requests from adults and then I explain my policy to them. When I do, they completely understand, and he is off the hook.</p>
<p>Curiously enough, not that it happens excessively, how do you feel about swearing and talk of things like sex/alcohol (not like oh “I’m bringing a keg in today” more like "I heard blah blah blah). Just curious.</p>
<p>quote:
“because we simply don’t have time to talk at length”</p>
<p>I’m sorry you have so much on your or your son’s plate that talking in length is not possible. I am not judging you. The length of time you talk to your child(ren) is not the point. Opened communication and trust cannot be measured in time.</p>
<p>Oh gosh…the comment above is so elequently put, it pains me to note that it completely misses the point with logic that is woefully flawed. Nevertheless, I certainly applaud the heartfelt attempt. /no judging/</p>
<p>Thanks nylecoj007 for that eloquent reply. I certainly had a “what the heck” moment when I read that .</p>
<p>anyone who thinks that having a good relationship with a child precludes them (children)from keeping certain things private/secret is deluding himself.</p>
<p>All our kids are different, and every parent here is trying his or her best to do what’s right for their kid. It seems to me that there are different approaches to Facebook, and that people who are wondering how to handle it can get a range of ideas. No single answer fits every family.</p>
<p>Became S’s fb friend. Much easier than I expected, now that he is in BS.</p>