<p>Curious how others feel about checking in on your child's communications while they are away at school. </p>
<p>Our daughter has a fb account and I've always had access to it. When she was at home, it was understood that we could go into the account from time to time--to see who is communicating to her, the tone of the communication, the priorities, etc...</p>
<p>When I see some kid's fb communication, it's clear that their parents aren't checking it out and I wonder if they have a clue...</p>
<p>I have my own account and have friend status, but now with her away at bs, I feel less inclined to go into her account, thinking it's her business. But I did go in the other night and saw she was on fb at a time she should be studying. AH HA! :)</p>
<p>How did you persuade her to befriend you on fb in the first place is my question. I haven’t got that “previlege”. Out of curiosity, how many parents here are their children’s friend on fb? Wonder if we are the minority. Maybe it’s time for us to demand for that previlege?</p>
<p>At first my kids thought it was “weird” that I would want to be their “friend” on fb. My son called me a “stalker”. But then my daughter decided she wanted to share photos and things with me on fb and her younger brother quickly followed suit. I think they also saw that many of their friends parents have fb pages.</p>
<p>Being a friend was required in order for d to get an account. I am also friends with her best friend, who friended me, and she is friends with her best friend’s mom. She is also friends with alot of older family members. I can think of only one occassion when she posted something I deemed inappropriate and when we talked about it she thought it was funny, but I think came to see how it was wrong and took it down. Being friends also allows us to chat, which is fun.</p>
<p>I’m on facebook, as is my child. It’s a convenient way to leave messages, because I know the fb account is active. The status updates are a good way to keep tabs on mood unobtrusively. Also, the chat function is useful, in those brief times the kid can talk.</p>
<p>While setting up accounts, we’ve had occasion to talk about privacy settings, and appropriate online behavior. Knowing that parents can see a fb posting helps to keep the public page appropriate. Somehow, you can tell teens until you’re blue in the face that others will judge them by their online posts, and it (in general, to judge from news reports) doesn’t have 1/10th the impact of the knowledge that parental units may see the posts.</p>
<p>He chose to close his account, but this annoyed his friends who find it a quick communication, so his friend set up a new account for him about 5 months after the original was changed.</p>
<p>The truth is, if kids want to use it without parents permission/overview it is very easy to do by creating a new g or y-mail account and setting up. </p>
<p>This led to a great Ethics talk in our house…</p>
<p>My situation is simliar w/emdee–my involvement was a requirement to originally set it up. I don’t post much on daughters fb, but I give an inbox email to her once a day from my own fb, which I use more now. But I hear little hints from her that makes me know she doesn’t like me in her account. </p>
<p>I like to still see the influences in my daughter’s life, even while she’s away. Most of the time, what I see confirms that she may have heard some of those ‘life lessons’ i’ve harped on. Since kids friend others easily from the same school, you can get an insight into your child’s peer group. And as we all know, “smart” doesn’t always coincide with “character”…</p>
<p>I am friends with my 2 S’s that have face book (or wastebook as my hubbie calls it) accounts. Originally the eldest would not friend me because I was using a picture that included him, with long hair. Once I got rid of the picture he became my friend. I do occasionally make comments on both their pages and have yet to have one of them complain. They are also friends with their dad, aunts and uncles, and adult family friends.</p>
<p>I also have their passwords to sign on as them but I don’t do that now that he is at BS. But I do enjoy seeing who his new friends are and seeings his posts. Since he doesn’t communicate much in the best of times facebook helps me feel a little more connected to him. </p>
<p>We also use the instant chat sometimes in the evening. Although last time we did he said he had to go as he was already chatting with 3 other people! Mom definitely lost out on that one.</p>
<p>while the first instinct is to know everything there is to know about your child and to be able to protect them from things, a parent should be able to let the child have privacy. We are talking about kids from grade 9 on, correct? If your kid is under that age, they should not be on fb since its a violation of fb policy, and isnt really safe (which I guess makes sense then to have access to their account). To the poster that said being a “friend” was a requirement for the kid to have the acct in the first place – how do you know if they have one, have more than one, etc. Also dont forget that there are all sorts of control on fb and they can block you from reading certain of their posts, looking at majority of their pictures, etc. IMO, if they need to be monitored for inappropriateness, then they are too young to have fb in the first place.</p>
<p>My two older son’s (both in college) have fb accounts and have “friended” me. It was their father that reminded them about the warnings of posting on public network sites. “If you don’t feel comfortable letting your mom read it, then it is most likely not appropriate to post.” </p>
<p>I respect my sons fb accounts. I do not post to theirs or about them on mine unless they send me a message first. For example: My son posted on his page that he had the “best mom” after he received a care package of home baked cookies. My reply was very simple: “Thanks!” Our young adults need to keep their postings in check. Articles and News reports say Social network sites are being monitored by law enforcement, colleges, employers, potential employers … etc. </p>
<p>I mentioned to one son that I came across one of his friend’s posts (trashing/venting) about the ex-girl friend (and mother to the guy’s child) on a Google Search. I passed the information on to my son so that he could decide if he wanted to warn the friend. I knew well enough not to get involved. My son agreed that the friend’s posts were a concern. He even thanked me on how I handled the information.</p>
<p>What I learned in my experience with my daughter is that she did not perceive what she had done as inappropriate. She thought it was funny. After talking with her about it and sharing a newspaper article about someone who had posted something similar on face book and the consequences she removed the information. In her case it was a reference to a teacher. To use an overworked clich</p>
<p>I’m a friend; sort of…I set up an alternate account as McGruff the CrimeDog complete with profile pic (not the real name, but you get the idea.) Having son as a friend has helped me understand what’s going on at BS a bit more because we simply don’t have time to talk at length. For example, I just learned that there was a major Global exam tomorrow. Also, he’s been tagged in so many group shots, I’ve been able to start a BS photo album. To me these pics are priceless. I never post, except to “Like” something in his status occasionally. He doesn’t mind at all because in his friends list, I’m simply McGruff…</p>
<p>BTW, if it’s privacy kids are looking for, FB is the LAST place they’ll find it.</p>
<p>I am my daughter’s facebook friend, but she never has time to use it. I opened an account just to make sure my daughter’s page wasn’t inappropriate, and then old friends starting friending me. Turns out Facebook’s fastest growing demographic is something like women over 50. Now I’m on it much more than my kid-- Wastebook, indeed! </p>
<p>It’s good to go over the security/privacy settings with your kid, whether you are their friend or not, and also some discussion of who to friend (though one should treat facebook as though the whole world can see it). My daughter has friends with loose settings—when I get there via a picture of my daughter that they’ve tagged, I can see entire albums that these friends (hers not mine) have posted. That’s a really bad idea, they must have left some access open to friend-of-friend.</p>
<p>My parents tell me every now and then that I should show them my facebook if they ask, but they never do (go figure). To be honest, if she has the highest security settings (people can’t even search her) then she will be fine, of course she needs to have the discretion to discern from a friend and a “stalker”. </p>
<p>I would be far more concerned if she used myspace (which is far more… unsafe), however Facebook should be fine. Actually it is a great method to keep in touch.</p>
<p>Both my sons have fb pages and I am not a friend to either of them because according to them, it looks lame having your mom as a friend…however all their Aunts and older cousins are friends and they keep me apprised of the situation. I trust my kids because so far they have done nothing to make me doubt them. However if I ever had a doubt, there would be a price to pay…fb friendship :)</p>
<p>Daughter wanted Facebook at age 13 in the summer before going to BS, so she could connect with future classmates. FB minimum age is 14, but we allowed her to set up account as long as we are friends with her. We use the chat sometimes with her being away, and it does give us a peek into her life. I don’t comment on her statuses (statii ?), and don’t generally tag her in family photos that I post on my page. Students at BS seem to use the chat function a lot, more so than other instant message programs like AIM or Yahoo chat. I also am an over-40 adult who enjoys FB to keep in touch with my adult friends.</p>
?), and don’t generally tag her in family photos that I post on my page. Students at BS seem to use the chat function a lot, more so than other instant message programs like AIM or Yahoo chat. I also am an over-40 adult who enjoys FB to keep in touch with my adult friends.</p>