Failing and Miserable

I am an engineering student, and just finished my freshman year at one of the Ivies. In the fall semester I finished with a 1.8 GPA and while it will probably be a little better this semester, I am almost certain that I failed another course.

I haven’t made really any friends here, and don’t feel like I fit in at this school. I’ve tried making friends with the people in my dorm, but they don’t respond, or even look at you. I also tried joining clubs to find people with similar interests, but nearly every club requires an application, and I was rejected from all of the groups I applied to. I got really depressed during the year, barely left my room, stopped going to class and eating, and pretty much stopped interacting with people, causing my grades to suffer. I have tried going to the counseling center on campus, but it is nearly impossible to get an appointment and they haven’t really been helpful when I am able to get one.

I have thought about transferring, but I don’t have the grades to transfer to a comparable school, and because of financial aid it would be much more expensive to go to a state school. I also know it’s possible to take time off, but I don’t have the financial resources to take a semester or year off of school (my parents don’t support me and I don’t really have a relationship with them).

I’m not sure what to do; I just feel really lost.

Some thoughts:

Tips for making friends in college
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1808143-having-trouble-adjusting-to-college-making-friends-top-10-things-to-do.html

I read about some Ivies where you have to apply yet again for clubs…are there any that are open?

Doing well
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1920853-college-is-a-step-up-from-hs-16-tips-on-doing-well-in-college.html

Transfer:
http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/2141857-should-i-transfer-or-do-i-hate-my-college-or-am-i-just-depressed.html#latest

Besides the political groups, there are few that are open and they rarely hold events or are active.

Seeking outside therapy is probably your best bet. Getting back on your feet is the first step to transferring.

Can you look for a volunteer activity near campus? Can you reduce your workload a bit next semester?

I am sorry you are struggling OP. Does your insurance cover seeing a private psychologist? If so that would be a good first step.

Were you placed on academic probation at the end of last semester? Will you achieve the necessary GPA this semester to not be on academic probation and/or garner a more onerous consequence? What does your academic advisor say?

I agree that transferring is not an option due to your GPA. Taking time off might be the best thing for you, because it does not seem you are in a place to finish this semester strong, or do well next semester. Perhaps your school will grant you a leave of absence. You can support yourself with a job while you work on your mental health and decide next steps when the time is right.

Maybe check out the Harvard Outing Club/
http://harvardoutingclub.org/about-the-hoc/

Will you even keep FA? You must be on probation etc? Maybe you transfer to your local 4 yr. Live at home. I suspect you won’t have a choice if you are failing like this. Surely you are omitting the opinion of your adviser?

@intparent I can’t reduce my workload because I only completed a couple courses this year and have a lot of catching up to do. I am trying to work out a plan with my advisor though.

@Mwfan1921 @Sybylla Most private practices here do not accept insurance. But I am trying to get on the waitlist for one that does take mine. I was on academic probation last semester, and I think I will be able to bring the GPA up, I am just not sure about credits. My advisor suggested that taking time off might be an option; I just don’t know if that is economically feasible yet.

Keeping a high workload just to catch up is a bad idea. It will only make matters worse as you risk doing poorly with a high workload. Just figure that you will be taking more time to graduate and you’ll have a better chance of actually graduating.

You may not have a choice after this semester as you will probably be asked to take some time off. Harvard will want that time off to be productive. They will require proof that it was productive. (a friend of my son was asked by Harvard to take some time off due to a low GPA and that was what was required of him)

You need to go to class. It is unlikely that you could transfer to a good four year U with a GPA below 2.0. I think it is unfortunate that we expect depressed people to seek out their own counseling and keep going back and calling to get an appointment. Is there a Dean or residence manager in your dorm that can help get you in?

@HPuck35 I believe financial aid only covers 8 semesters; I won’t be able to continue after that. I don’t go to Harvard, but what did they consider productive? Was working a job sufficient?

What is your home state for in-state tuition purposes ? Relevant because some states offer very affordable high quality engineering degree options.

Can you check in with your advisor? You need help and it is so hard to do all on your own.

As a freshman your high school stats will be considered still, again, your local 4 yr is the first place to consider. Have you talked to your parents? Again, are you even getting any FA for next semester? It would strike me that you have had a problem for 2 semesters, that your award would be in jeopardy? Your adviser has advised taking time off, is that a suggestion or a requirement?
What is your home state?

My home state is Florida. Taking time off was just a suggestion as an option to consider. I won’t know about financial aid until all grades are put in, but I think that since it is need based the only requirement is being full-time.

Engineering is not easy in any college, maybe you should switch to something more suited to your interest/strength AND less competitive (your low grades are partially due to the high caliber of students in your classes).

Top schools are not for everyone, particular people who are socially shy (hence the reason Ivies look for students with leadership skill in their admission process).

Take some time off (take leave of absence with medical reason), maybe do community college in your own town (if your parents are not accepting you, find some relatives/friends/neighbor that will) and work some low-pay job (ie, support yourself and get a better understanding what elite college education can help you), then come back to the Ivy after one year.

Sometimes that’s all it take to appreciate things from other side and recover. I knew someone who went to Cornell for engineering, got really depressed and stop going to any class, came home for the second year attending community college, then went back to Cornell for the easiest eng major (OR) and graduating this May.

As a resident of Florida, COA is not a huge barrier as total annual COA for UCF is just $17,000 (tuition & fees plus room & board).

I assume that you are a student at Cornell. Cornell is tough academically. Transferring to an equal school may not be in your best interest, and may not be possible due to your low GPA.

Do you suffer from SAD ?

That’s the question you should ask your advisor/college. They will spell it out for you. Yes, working a job to support yourself is productive, going to CC and getting good grades is productive… lying on a couch doing nothing is NOT.

Your final grades must be in by now, so you will have to interview and review your academic progress and will know if you are going to get FA next year. Hopefully you are busy taking care of this.