Okay, so I’m in Japan studying abroad. The first month and a half was great, but then I started receiving my grades and homesickness kicked in. I haven’t been able to get higher than a 50% on a test in all of my classes and am struggling and getting more and more angry at my situation. I’ve never failed a class (Especially not an entire semester of classes!) I’m now 2 1/2 to 3 months in and 2/3 of my classes are failing (30%-55% in them). I have no motivation to try anymore because of my continuous F’s, I feel like I’m trying and just not grasping the materials. I want to go home, but of course I want to pass! I want to be able to leave and have good stories to tell everyone. I don’t want to say I came for nothing and have to tell everyone I’m home early because I failed and quit. But that’s exactly whats happening and that’s exactly what I want to do.
I’ve never left home this long, miss everyone, and just can’t stop thinking about it. I do have pretty bad anxiety problems/depression but I’ve never had it treated and I try to live my life without using that as a backup or a way out. I feel like it’s overwhelming me. I’ve talked to professors and they just say “Try harder.” I’m now talking to a Study abroad advisor about whether I’m able to pass or whether I should go home. I don’t know, sorry I’m ranting on this. I should be so grateful and excited to be here but my motivation and excitement is gone.
Has anyone else gone through this? I need advice.