<p>I know many of you have heard this advice before, but I want to emphasize it to spare anyone future pain/frustration. </p>
<p>Two days ago, I was rejected from my dream school. At first, I took the rejection pretty well. However, the next day, the fact that I wouldn't get to attend the school I have been excited about for months -- the "perfect fit" for me and a place where I was sure I would enjoy the best four years of my life -- hit me hard. I finally began to realize that I was ultimately not going to attend my dream school, and that I would NEVER be able to fully experience life there from freshman to senior year. This realization was a huge blow because I invested too much emotionally into the school. I liked the school too much, and didn't think enough about the possibility that I would get rejected. Of course, because of my low GPA, I didn't really expect to get in, but I still thought too much about what would happen if I somehow got in instead of what would happen if I end up going to my safety school (which will probably happen). </p>
<p>So... my advice to you all is, do NOT fall in love with any of your schools until you receive an acceptance letter. It's a horrible experience having your excitement of attending your dream school build up for months and ultimately get the dreaded "...we are unable to offer you admission to our school because you're a horrible and worthless applicant. We wish you the best of luck at your local community college." While it's good to like a school, you don't want to like any one of them too much because it's very likely that you're going to be rejected. Expect nothing but rejection so you're not too disappointed if it actually happens. Plus, if you're accepted, it'll be a bigger surprise and you'll end up happier. </p>
<p>Right now, after being rejected/waitlisted/deferred from five schools in a row with no acceptances in between, I am welcoming the possibility of going to my safety school. Although yesterday I was dreading the thought of attending my last choice, I am accepting the fact that I will probably end up attending. I feel like having this mindset allows me to cope with the stress of waiting on applications much more easily. </p>
<p>I totally agree with you. I just had my heart broken a few days ago haha. But if you still want to go to thT school you can still appeal for a reevaluation if you would like.</p>
<p>The best thing about this post, is the update in which the OP tells about how his son turned it around got into several great schools the following year after taking a year off.</p>
<p>There’s always two sides to an issue. On the other hand, I don’t think I would’ve been accepted to UChicago if I hadn’t fallen in love with its curriculum, approach to learning, and relatable quirkyness. It allowed me to write some heartfelt essays and completely ace my interview, which I think were major factors in my acceptance.</p>
<p>It’s very hard, because the college admissions process is murky at best. We can all see whether a student is academically qualified to apply to a school (the data on admitted students is readily availablle). But given that many schools receive applicants from many many more qualified students than they can accept, it’s hard to predict anything without knowing more about the admissions process than any of us do.</p>
<p>The other hard part, many or most of the qualified students are truly exceptional. They are very talented, work hard, and in many cases may never have failed to attain something they really wanted (at least academically). The rejection, comes as a shock – it is viewed as a failure, and an unfair one given the amount of work the student puts in (even more unfair, given that most can point to students with lesser credentials who have gotten into the dream school).</p>
<p>My thought – to the extent that it is a failure, it is not a reflection on the student. It is simply a case of numbers and that there are not enough slots at a specific school for each qualified student.</p>
<p>On the other hand, it really is not the end of the world. Most excellent students go to excellent schools and, at the end of the day wind up loving the place they go to. To the extent this is the first major life disappointment – well, sigh, it probably won’t be the last. But you will survive and you will thrive.</p>
<p>I agree that it’s best to not get attached to one option before getting in. I’d take that farther and say that you should try not to fall in love with a school until you know you can afford it. I didn’t fall in love with Georgetown until getting in, but getting obsessed with it afterward made it really hard when I got my financial aid offer.</p>
<p>But to reiterate what many posters have said, remember that things are still ok if you can’t go to your dream school! Most people end up happy where they go, regardless of whether or not that college was their first choice. I’ll likely be going to UMD in the fall and though it was among my bottom choices earlier in the year, I’m getting pretty excited about going and I think I’ll still have a good experience there, so try to remember that even if your dream school doesn’t work out, things will likely turn out in a way that will make you happy. :)</p>
<p>It’s hard not to fall if you obsess about it. Which is what many do about a school. The more you think about it, the more you invest in it and the more it hurts if it doesn’t work out. My friend’s son got it in his head that he would get into a school that was a reach for him. He had a chance, and it wouldn’t have been a huge surprise if he were accepted, but no surprise if he was not either. He and the parents went an extra mile with some alumni letters, some directed activity, meeting with the admission director, etc ,etc. Each contact just intensified the connection to the point that he did not even want to consider those schools much more likely to take him, and fine schools they were. I think the attitude came out on some visits as well, because he was WLed at them when my son for whom they were a reach was accepted. Both boys were not accepted to Dream school, but it hit the young man very hard, whereas my son had not invested any more than the effort of the app. It was truly a tough go for the young man and his parents. All is well–he loves where he is going, but he did worry a lot of us with the depressive funk that he got from the rejection.</p>
<p>Nah. I don’t think that’s any way to live life never getting emotionally invested. I got rejected ED from my top choice and it hurt but I think college apps would be miserable if you go in terrified that you might be hurt. I’m perfectly happy with how things turned out for me and I wouldn’t change the way it went if I could. It’s been a learning experience and I’m glad I had it.</p>
<p>I am in the same boat as the OP, although I didn’t get fully rejected yet. I was waitlisted at MIT after heavy recruiting for soccer. When I applied to all my schools I didn’t have one clear favorite. I did have places I didn’t want to go as much, but I had a good 8 schools I would have been thoroughly happy attending. But then I did my official visits. I visited Swarthmore first, and fell in love, but then I visited MIT, and I fell head over heels. I didn’t want it to happen, but it did, and a part of me wishes it hadn’t. The other part of me agrees with MissGen. I am glad I went through this experience. It is character building, and is sort of characteristic of what life will be like. You have to take risks, you have to take the plunge sometimes. Otherwise, you can’t get everything out of your life.</p>
<p>On a related note, don’t necessarily fall in love with a school if you won’t be able to afford it. </p>
<p>I got in early action to the college of my dreams, and even with a decent scholarship it still might be too expensive. Hoping it’ll work out, but if it doesn’t I just know I’ll be heartbroken.</p>
<p>People kept asking my daughter (and her parents) what her “first choice” was during the application process. She wisely made a point of not having one. She really tried to focus on what there was to like about each of the options on her list, as well as to be honest about the drawbacks of each, and tried not to get too invested in any one of the five schools she applied to.</p>
<p>That looks more like a “did not have a true safety and got shut out” type of story. Such stories are not uncommon; many students just go to community college and then transfer two years later to a four year university (perhaps one that rejected them as freshmen) to complete their bachelor’s degrees.</p>
<p>The “dream school” rejection stories are not uncommon either, although some are even more painful sounding in that the student got accepted but without enough financial aid to make it affordable (though some students still want to pursue the dream even with huge student loan debt).</p>
<p>this is probably exactly what will happen to me… i’ve fallen in love with a college that is simply out of my grasp… at first, i really thought i had a chance of getting in, but now that i’m beginning to fill out my applications, and after reading the EXTREMELY IMPRESSIVE credentials of former accepted students, i know i have a 1% chance, maybe even less than that. this sucks so bad. i freaking dread doing my applications now. :(</p>