Dear Academic Review Board,
I’m writing this letter to appeal the decision to dismiss me from this institution. It has come to this solely because of my decisions and lack of in the face of problems that emerged this past year. Over these two semesters, I have been overwhelmed with issues within my control that I have inadequately handled and issues outside of it that I have failed to address.
Both my semesters have been characterized by not taking my classes seriously. I simply avoided addressing any difficulties I had. I did not ask the teacher for help nor did I attend the guided study sessions and so my grade suffered. It was only made worse by the fact that I refused to acknowledge there was a problem, I was so sure of myself because I did not want to admit I had a problem and pushed back studying for my classes until the last moment. When my grades finally began to drop, I did not take responsibility for the role my reluctance to seek help played. I refused to recognize what went wrong and by simply said that I could not handle the class. I lost confidence in my ability and I lost my motivation. I began to attend class less and less, losing more and more credit for failing to show up or exceeding the allowed number of absences. This cost me letter grades in each class. When I still could have turned things around and salvaged these grades by simply meeting with the professors, I gave up, finishing the semester with a 1.480.
In addition, two issues arose. Financial issues arose because I had not turned in my FASFA on time and so my father had to strain himself further in order to get money to supplement the gap in coverage. For the entire semester, I watched as the stress from this began to affect his health and I blamed myself. Instead of saying that I made a mistake and resolving to work harder that semester to be awarded further aid, I once again saw it as confirmation that I was a failure and couldn’t be helped. To make matters worse, one of my closest friends had been fighting an aggressive and terminal form of brain cancer and committed suicide before it could run its course. I blamed myself because as she began to reach the end, I found it harder and harder to be there as she deteriorated mentally and physically. It ate at me when I found out and I let it overcome me. I took this as another sign that I was once again a failure–I told myself that I failed everyone and that was it.
I stopped attending classes, spending most of my days doing nothing more than wasting time to escape the reality before me. When I did attend class, I was hardly ever engaged. I neglected my assignments and on some level believed if I ignored them, that was it. I was eventually jolted back by my sister who noticed the change. She helped me deal with the suicide of my friend, the financial issues, and helped me realize that I could only become a failure if I let my failure define me instead of teach me how to succeed.
While it was too late to seriously turn around my grades due to the absences that had piled up, I could still work with my professors on the assignments I had not turned in or were not yet due to ensure I had the best possible grade. I took advantages of resources I should have been using all semester: the library, my professors during office hours and e-mail, and other students for study groups or peer edits for major papers. While I ended the semester with a 1.943, the A- I received in my History course due to my late-semester effort showed me I could succeed with hard work on my part. I finally understood what I have been doing consistently wrong these past few semesters.
Looking back, I realize my main issue is that I have not wanted to put in the effort needed to succeed because I was not aiming to succeed in what I was passionate about. My planned major had initially been Engineering but after working with my professor for History on my papers and eventually coming in to just talk about the readings, I realized my real interest was the economics of history. Learning what path I am truly interested in I think will be as important as any techniques I adopt to keep myself successful.
Simply knowing where I want to focus my attention is not enough, I need to structure my day and time towards realizing all my goals. This means not only cutting out possible distractions but effectively using time that I deem productive. I plan on using a schedule planning method I picked up from a seminar on practicing success where I map out my goals, then map out everything I do during the day, everyday, for a week, then marking each activity or moment with a number corresponding to which goal of mine it furthers. If it doesn’t contribute to anything, I am entertaining wasteful time that could grow to undermine my productivity. If my schedule is dominated by tasks which further low-priority goals, I need to figure out if my high-priority goals are too high. If I my schedule is dominated by higher numbered goals, I have to ask myself if these goals are too low, if I am not being honest with myself, or if everything’s alright.
Already I have tried this time management process over break and it’s allowed me to focus on reviewing what I learned this semester in my ECON200, to better schedule my days around my job, and to reduce the time I waste procrastinating or simply doing nothing productive. I know that I can seriously follow through with this time management strategy and have gotten another friend to even join me. We both exchange schedules to make sure that we are not fooling ourselves about whether or not we are being productive and whether or not our goals are serious. This has also made me realize that I should not be fearful as I once was of embarrassment from reaching out for help. Before, I acted as if admitting a failure was the same as deciding I was a failure. By avoiding this, it allowed me to avoid responsibility for my failings but also for correcting them. I now see that if I wish to succeed, I must realize that by understanding my limits and getting support in managing them, I can turn this into a strength and organize my habits and behavior with my weaknesses in mind so as to not fall for the same trap again.
For this semester, I would have three primary goals: attend every class (unless sick), meet or contact each professor once a week, and maintain no lower than a B average (3.1). Achieving at least 3.1 GPA this semester would push me to up to a 2.4 GPA, leaving academic probation. My secondary goals will change each week depending on my assignments but will reflect working towards achieving my primaries…I plan to take advantage of guided study sessions and tutors along with working with other students in my class, together, to prepare for exams or go over lectures and information in the book. With my time management techniques, I will be able to efficiently maximize the amount of time I spend on each subject so that I can focus on my weaknesses, test my strengths, and keep up with the work. I have also gone ahead to examine the syllabi of the professors with open sections at this point, making sure to understand how to reach them, their TAs, and the resources they offer and the department offers to do well in the course.
If I am allowed to stay at (college) this semester on academic probation I will be equipped with actual strategies and plans to take advantage of resources and actively manage my own studies and time. With constant communication between my teachers and myself, along with between my advisor and I, I will be able to stay on top of any developing issues while getting help understanding any mistakes or flaws in my work that may impede my success.
Thank you for giving me the chance to explain this past year and hopefully another opportunity to prove that I am able to succeed at (college).
how do I cut it down