<p>I'm a high school junior who has began writing my persona statement for the UC system. This essay corresponds with the first prompt (the incoming freshman prompt): Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations. I would appreciate any feedback that can help me improve my personal statement. I plan to apply to all the UCs but my goal is to attend UCLA or UCB and I would like if my essay could be competitive enough to help me be accepted into those schools. </p>
<p>Imagine coming from a home where your beliefs on EVERYTHING differed your parents and their support on nearly everything you did was completely oblivious. My mother was born and raised in Mexico while my father lived in Nigeria until he came to the states during the early 1980s for college. Having two parents who grew up with different traditions and cultures made it difficult to have beliefs of my own. My opinions on clothes, music, activities I join, causes I support, universities I would like to attend, my future major, and even the career I plan to have are all disagreed upon by my parents. Being my own supporter has always been a reality for me but when I needed my parents’ support most or even a slight bit of compassion and understanding, I was turned away. There had always been a part of me that I kept hidden behind my parents to avoid hurting them. All while doing this, I maintained the highest grades, continued my constant involvement in various clubs, and continuously helped my family with house duties. During the last final weeks of my sophomore year, my parents had discovered what I had been hiding from them for so long: the fact that I am gay. Instead of having the outcome I had expected, our relationship only weakened and was destroyed forever.
As months went by, our relationship only continued to get worse and instead of feeling better that I no longer had to hide my sexuality from them, I simply fell in to a deep depression because I knew I had hurt them. When my junior year began, it seemed as if the situation was improving, but just a month into school, my parents again shared that they would not accept my sexuality. Although they had told me this many times before, I had never felt as hurt as I did that time. Before, I would simply take in the hatred and disbelief but this time I decided to stand up for my beliefs and it only proved to make matters worse than they were. I argued constantly with my parents, there was constant tension at home, and I always felt depressed. It saddened me to know that the two people who created me and were supposed to love me most could not get passed a simple cultural difference and still love their daughter for who she was. Some days, I didn’t know what to do with myself because I constantly received threats from my mother to kick me out of the house for being a bad influence to my younger siblings and I also had to deal with the guilt of knowing that I made my father (a man who never shed a tear) cry.
Where I had once felt comfortable even though I had kept a part of me hidden, I no longer felt wanted because I was seen as “different”. I continued to feel depressed until September of my junior year: after having an intense argument with my mother about my sexuality the night before, I fell to what seemed like my final resort: suicide. Friends who worried about my strange behavior reported me to the school police who pulled me out of class and contacted my parents who were unaware of the psychological damage their hatred was causing. I had to be enrolled in both personal and group therapy for nearly a year after yet my parents never lightened up their beliefs. For the months that followed, I continued to maintain good grades and joined a bit more school activities to avoid the tension at home. Although my depression vanished by the middle of the second semester, I still felt guilty for the pain I had caused my parents. The tension between us loosened but they continued to disagree with my sexuality and expressed their hatred against the LGBT community.
When my parents learned I am gay, the “perfect future” they had imagined suddenly disappeared. Although I may not live my life the way my parents would like me to, I am determined to still be successful in life regardless if they would like to support my decisions in life or not. I have finally understood that the only person who will ever support me will be myself. </p>
<p><em>It is 725 words</em></p>
I hope this helped and good luck!! </p>