<p>My parents have borrowed/will borrow a lot to pay for my top choice college. There were cheaper options but my parents (hesitantly, I think) agreed to pay. I have student loans so I am contributing, and I'll have a small job next semester, but this is so much less than what my parents pay. I know they are happy to provide for me, but they also have had to make sacrifices to afford it. Looking back it just doesn't seem like this school was a wise decision. The school isn't even highly ranked in my field to justify it, but it isn't bad either. It's probably too late for me to transfer to a cheaper school because of how many credits I have and it would mean giving up some pretty interesting opportunities here. </p>
<p>I have always worked really hard in school and it's not like I'm blowing all the money on parties or socializing. I did have a disappointing semester last year, so that may be contributing to my feelings. I plan on doing extremely well for the rest of my time and maybe after I graduate I can send my parents on vacation or something--that just seems so far in the future though. </p>
<p>Any words of wisdom on dealing with these feelings?
Thanks in advance.</p>
<p>You have many decades in front of you to alleviate your feelings of guilt. I wouldn’t spring for a vacation at this point.</p>
<p>Pay back your own loans first, as quickly as you can. Be intentionally financially independent. If you can, help them pay back the loans they took out on your behalf, or save for the future. Be there as they age. </p>
<p>Is it possible to transfer to a lower cost college (although scholarships are less available to transfers, and some private schools give less financial aid to transfers) to keep them from running up more debt for your college costs? (You need to consider this being forced upon you if your parents are unable to continue borrowing before you graduate.)</p>
<p>Other than that, live as frugally as possible, graduate as quickly as possible, pay your own student loans as quickly as possible, and then help them pay off the parent loans as quickly as possible.</p>
<p>As parents, we had to make sacrifices for our son to attend a state school and more to have our daughter attend a private college. But we were glad to do it. They both worked hard, lived mostly frugal lives in college (you’ve got to have some fun) and graduated with their degrees. My son has been out of school a few years and is making a good living for himself. Our daughter just graduated and is in the looking for a job mode. She has had some interviews with some very good companies and we are sure she will also do well. We are proud of both of them and seeing them be successful will make the sacrifice all worth it.</p>
<p>Our sets of parents sacrificed for both my wife and myself as parents thru the ages have done. They also wouldn’t have had it any other way. We are grateful of them for that. Do well in college and beyond. Make your parents proud of you and it will be worth it.</p>
<p>I joke with my kids that we paid for their education so that they can take care of us in our old age. But I doubt that it will be necessary as we have saved quite a bit for our retirement. It is the one thing that one might want to draw the line at. A parent should be willing to (and want to) sacrifice for their children as long as it doesn’t impact their long term financial stability.</p>
<p>Without knowing a lot more information, it’s difficult to say whether this is a serious problem or just another one of those things we parents do for our kids. FOr some schools, it comes down to past, present, future income to pay for those costs on part of both parents and kids, and the more a family focused on the past and can come up with from present will affect the loans that are taken. For some parents, it’s a matter of cash flow and spreading out the costs over more years. If the family is in dire financial straits and the loans are just a way not to deal with the costs right now with no idea or way to pay them later, that’s a whole other story.</p>
<p>I think your parents will be over joyed when you graduate, find a job that makes ends meet and you can help repay those loans as soon as possible. No vacation needed.</p>
<p>As a parent, I would want to see you take advantage of that school. Do better next year…go to Professor Office hours, go to the writing/student success/ center, get a tutor, form a study group and take advantage of those interesting opportunities!!</p>
<p>But you could talk to someone at another university that you are interesting in transferring to and see what could transfer. And does that university have the same or equally interesting opportunities?</p>