<p>I feel like I am the only one doing anything to get things rolling.
- it's time to reject at least 2 offers (probably 4)
- get the final official Financial Aid offer (Son's 1st choice gave us an estimate but I'd like the final now please)
- get the loan applications started
- get all aspects of payments laid out
- start all other procedures involved for new Freshman, or at least research them
- Son is jammed up with Senior projects, work & other school work
- Wife is slammed with end of year projects (Elem Art Teacher)</p>
<ul>
<li>yes if you are down to the final two choices, it’s fine to decline the others. Simply not depositing also “tells” the uni/college the student is not attending especially the really big unis. Small LACs might appreciate a quick email.
<ul>
<li>sometimes finaid is posted online…no letters are sent so if there is a missing finaid document don’t forget to check online.
-can be done after the student graduates - they will have to do on-line counseling and online promissary note but the process is quick so can wait until after early summer
-yes, parents should figure this out 
it’s the most painful part</li>
<li>all students need to do now is pay the deposit to the school they are attending and check on orientation…everything else can wait until summer (or after graduation)
-Yes seniors are way busy, so put off non-essentials until after graduation</li>
<li>can’t help you here LOL…</li>
</ul></li>
</ul>
<p>Really all that needs to be done in the next couple weeks is pick the college and deposit and if it’s a big uni, sign up for orientation. And for parents start figuring out where to pull the money from, most colleges/unis have bills due in August. </p>
<p>Yep. A parent often has to get involved. If that is the only problem that is happening with senioritus and other and the senior bad a$$ attitude, then you are lucky. Once they are gone, a lot of this has to start becoming your kid’s responsibility, but some things are complex enough with consequences severe and permanent enough that those without a parent in the know cracking the whip, are at serious disadvantage. I truly feel for those kids who are trying to handle this all themselves, and there are some I was once such a kid, and it ain’t easy.</p>
<p>Also double check on housing policies. Some schools need a deposit then assignments happen in late July or into August. Others need a deposit and application for living/learning or honors housing or preference selection ASAP to secure a spot. Many are first come first serve for requests. After the final choice is made it’s good to check their housing time line just to be sure what type of system they have.</p>
<p>Call me Indiana Jones. I feel like whip cracking is my new hobby. Have you accepted your fin aid? Crack. Have you declined at the schools that ask you to do so? Crack. Have you checked the student portal for info? Crack. Will you please contact your coach and find out when you move in? We have something to plan before you go. Crack. </p>
<p>Then, there’s the plan for the party and graduation. Just. Five. Weeks. Away. Crack. Crack. Crack. </p>
<p>Hi OP, this is the period during which I cut my two sons some slack. They are in the final weeks of high school, likely buried in senior projects, prom, other special events and possibly sports – both of mine were on spring athletic teams. Choosing the college – yes, the guys did that part. But then I took care of the housekeeping details, i.e. paying the deposit, officially signing up for the dorm so they wouldn’t get shut out of on-campus housing. These last weeks of high school whip by, and I wanted our sons to work hard and enjoy the end of their senior year. </p>
<p>And don’t feel guilty . . . I did all that stuff when kid was a senior and now she quite capably takes care of it herself. You are not preventing your kid from becoming an adult in the fullness of time by just checking off the list and getting SH** done this time of year. They are plenty busy. </p>
<p>Yep. My youngest lost a lot of weight spring of senior year. He was slim, needed those pounds. He truly just didn’t have time to eat enough, fell in to bed exhausted every night. Got home from school so, so late, after baseball games or practice, cram sessions for finals…give 'em a break. </p>
<p>I have found with all 3 of my kids, that even if they are able to juggle their HS activites, classes and EC’s independently, they really still operate a bit on a 'magical thinking" scenario. That things will mysteriously “work out” or that the way deadlines are handled in their HS are they way they are everywhere, or that “exceptions” made because the HS knows them and knows they are good kids will continue to carry the day outside their local bubble.<br>
They also aren’t as “in tune” with juggling others schedules and conflicting time/schedules. For example, one D is supposed to move out of her residence hall the same weekend as her older sister’s senior capstone. Now both parents want to attend capstone (after 4 years of private tuition, you bet we will be there!). So have been nudging second D to request extension or alternate dates etc. Attending said capstone will also require HS son to miss at least half day of school to travel. Have also been nudging him to check his schedule and arrange with HS teachers. </p>
<p>I guess I need a whip rather than a nudge! </p>
<p>he finally snapped last night. not sure why we haven’t seen any outward signs of stress before now. he was overwhelmed yesterday and taking a break watching some basketball highlights (sports journalist) and was chatting with his girlfriend (college Freshman) and told her he was watching TV and she gave him some sh*t about it and criticized his time management and he blew up throwing his cell and breaking it. ugh lot’s of drama and crying and making up and using my cell on the front steps for an hour afterwards. now he has my cell so he can coordinate with my daughter about the car and travel plans today. whatever, that outburst is gonna cost him. I advised him how to manage being scheduled and how it won’t be the end of the world if he has to disappoint someone, like track coach, work boss or his temple … Wow, he is getting hit left, right & sideways. I don’t remember all that my senior year, in fact I think it was a breeze back in '77 …</p>
<p>So sorry. And he may feel the pressure of the changes about to take place as well, especially if he likes his high school situation. If it is any comfort, plenty of my friends have reported that their kids became insufferable right before they left for college. </p>
<p>About the old days…I don’t remember pressure even though I had a bunch of stuff going on at the end (papers, tests, grad speech, plus fun stuff like senior skip day and breakfast) but I do remember being a pita because I was so ready to move on. </p>
<p>With all the opportunities many of our kids come expectations and the pressures that come with those. Yes, it’s not an easy go, and these internal implosions as well as explosions can be deadly. Look at the grad rates, note they are given in the 6 year time frame. The college years are tough years for young adults when the mental demons rear their ugly heads. For many, it’s not a matter of off to college and it’s over For those who get that, soooo lucky, congrats. It’s really a tough go. And tougher yet is the transition for them becoming self supporting.</p>
<p>With AP and IB exams in May spring senior year just isn’t the coasting time that it was back in the day. My oldest was a spring athlete as well so when you add that plus end of the year music stuff, awards nights and all the senior events it is just a lot to juggle.</p>
<p>rumrunner,
In addition to all of his current school pressures, he is now realizing[ perhaps for the first time] that he will be leaving his home , and family and friends in just a few months, and that can be very unnerving and scary thought for many 17 year old kids! So yeah, procrastination is one way of denying that his world is soon going to be changing radically !
My advise is to quietly do all of the “back office” work required for him re: enrolling in college. Give him lots of space. Be the calm one in the family . Let him know that its ok to feel all mixed up emotionally about what is happening and what is going to be happening to him soon. Give him the reassurance that you will always be there for him. </p>
<p>And realize that many, if not most seniors do subconsciously “spoil the nest” in the last half of their senior year , in order to make it easier for them to leave and for their parents to let them go…</p>
<p>hmmm … interesting … a breaking free ritual …? gosh still can’t believe my baby boy is 18! </p>
<p>Also as a parent you can give him “permission” to let someone down…My DD has quarterly exams this week and I told her not to go to Hospital volunteering so she can study…she loves volunteering so it was better if I was the bad guy.</p>
<p>“soiling the nest” is a well documented coping mechanism and there are dozens of old threads about it on CC.
Evey year there are parents of seniors who ask
"what happened to my [ formally] nice kid?"She is now so rude, argumentative, nasty, etc etc. </p>
<p>Happens to the best of them…</p>
<p>just realizes there was a typo in my last post
" spoiled" SB “soil” the nest …</p>
<p>wold it help if I tell him I read about it so that he doesn’t have to do it …?</p>
<p>Nope, fouling the nest is a real developmental phase! But it usually occurs the summer before heading off to college.</p>
<p>He sounds REALLY overwhelmed. I would back off. Let him try to enjoy his last month of high school. I would even offer to help with some of those admin tasks. Perhaps he is second-guessing his top choice and/or worried about the FA package. Maybe it’s time for some open communication and an “I’m proud of you” pep talk. Let him know you’re there for him.</p>
<p>Also, federal direct loan apps can be done in less than 20 minutes online and he can wait til midsummer for that.</p>
<p>And tell his mother to hold off on asking him about bedding colors and mattress toppers just yet ;)</p>