<p>hey parents! sorry if this is a repeat post.</p>
<p>i need some hardcore parent advice. here's your topic:</p>
<p>i got into the school of my dreams, uva, as well as our state school, mizzou. i'm the eldest of 4 kids so my parents (dad especially) say that mizzou is my only option because i didn't get the full ride to uva that i was hoping for. </p>
<p>going to a school like uva has been a goal that i've been working toward for as long as i can remember. getting accepted was arguably one of the happiest days of my life. i hope you all can agree that attaining something you've worked your butt off for feels incredible.</p>
<p>i feel like i'm settling and letting myself down by going to mizzou for three main reasons: 1) i think it's completely stupid to decide on a college based solely on finances (dad disagrees). 2) i feel like i've worked so hard and killed myself academically for so long and am now going somewhere i could have realisically gotten into last year (by the way credits work out) 3) i don't like it. i don't feel like it's a fit. i guess it's hard to put words to but basically i felt at home at uva and awkward at mizzou. </p>
<p>yes, i am very well aware that college is what you make it. yes, i know i could turn out to be a competely functional member of society even if i go to a state school. (i'm not anti-state schools...on the contrary, i really want to go to one; just not my own!). yes, i know i have to consider my other family members. yes, i know grad school is more important than undergrad. yes, i know i shouldn't base my feelings of self worth on where i go to school.</p>
<p>but despite all that, i do. i'm trying so hard to fall in love with mizzou like i did with uva and i just can't do it. it's just not there and it really really sucks. i'm stuck, basically, between a rock and a hard place: settling for a school that my parents will pay for or taking on a tremendous amount of debt to go where i really want to.</p>
<p>bottom line: i'm absolutely terrified that i will regret not taking the opportunity of going to uva. </p>
<p>any help is EXTREMELY appreciated. -kristin</p>
<p>Finances are very important and it's not 'stupid to decide on a college' taking finances into account. They're taken into account in every other purchase in life and are important in the college choice as well. This is especially true for large families.</p>
<p>See if you can figure out how to pay for the difference yourself in loans and work/study and see if your Dad is willing to accept that. If attending UVA doesn't result in any additional costs to your family then maybe they'll be more open to it. It'll then be up to you to decide whether you think it's worth the extra cost (to you).</p>
<p>I have extrapolated from your post you live in Missouri. So you are going to pay out of state tuition, correct? I know many friends of mine & others whose kids <recently> have established residency in the state where they attend college. Then they receive the in-state rate. It's a tough year or 2 tuition-wise, but they felt it was worth it in the end.</recently></p>
<p>However, I do concur with ucsd<em>ucla</em>dad, money is a factor of life.</p>
<p>Kristin, congrats about your acceptance to UVa. However from you op it seems that your family indicated that attendance was predicated on some significant finaid.</p>
<p>Because that did not happen you need to accept the decision of your family. You have three siblings which I assume you love very much. Would you want your dream to adversely limit or deny their post hs choices??? I doubt that is the case. Your parents are able to see the big picture and you need to trust that they are making the best decision for the entire family.</p>
<p>If you work hard and distinguish yourself at Mizzou you will be well on your way to a successful post grad career. If this disappointment poisions your well, the consequences will be on your shoulders.</p>
<p>Be thankful for what you have achieved and expect even better in the years ahead!!!</p>
<p>kristin - When there are younger siblings, parents are in a bind because they don't want to shortchange any of their children! Will we have enough money to pay for the younger ones' educations? Or, do we play it safe and take away oldest's "dream school" because of a fear of the unknown? It's a very tough decision.</p>
<p>As a previous poster asked, what is the price difference between the two schools? Is there anything you could do to help make up the difference? It's rarely a difference of full price vs. free ride.</p>
<p>As money is a factor in everything in life - so too it is here. Perhaps you can determine what your family anticipates paying for the state school and then find ways to make up the difference at dream school. If the difference is met, the family is likely to support your decision. Just as parents struggle to have funds for the younger kids it pains parents dash a childs life long dream. So, if you can find a means to keep the dream and the options open for your siblings I would venture to say that most (if not all) parents would love for your dreams to come true for you. They have an obligation to all the kids. That obligation is for the kids fiscal AS WELL AS subjective needs (dreams!). So, investigate work/study programs; grants; rules for gaining instate tuition etc. You may qualify for any number of things. Call dream school financial aid office and see if they have a suggestion. The worst thing that can happen is they say they have no suggestions.</p>
<p>kristin; Call you r grandmothers and get them to help you 'sell' UVA to your parents.</p>
<p>Then sit down with your parents and apply the Mizzou money to the UVA bill. How much are you short? My guess is that you will be $80K short?</p>
<p>Call UVA Fin Aid office and ask them if you can do work study--and what could you expect to earn? PM tlaktan and ask him about how he went about gathering small schoalrships and stipends to allow him to attend a school he thought was unaffordable.</p>
<p>Can you defer a year and work and save $20K?</p>
<p>Ask UVA what their RA policy is. Plan on being an RA for one year at least--that's $10K in your pocket.</p>
<p>For an unprofessional undergrad degree, you don't want to borrow too much--under $30K would be my gut feeling.</p>
<p>You can make this happen for yourself--but only if you pay for a large chunk yourself. How gutsy and how determined are you?</p>
<p>That said, there is a large difference between Mizzou and UVA.</p>
<p>I'm curious though--why the heck didn't you apply to true merit schools like Emory and Vanderbilt and Tulane and BU and and and.... Why did you back yourself into the Mizzou vs UVA corner?</p>
<p>Maybe you need a Gap year to earn some dollars and re-think your application strategy?</p>
<p>When you're figuring in the cost difference, don't forget travel expenses! It's a long distance from Columbia to Virginia - and would be very costly to your parents to visit you, especially with your three siblings in tow. If your parents are willing to finance the portion of UVA that they'd pay in MO, great - if you want to take on the remainder yourself. But remember, if you want to go on to grad school, that could increase your debt load to an amount so astronomically high that it might offset the value of having a UVA degree. If you can emotionally handle it, it's only 4 yrs at Columbia AND they do have some awesome programs there. If you go into major debt to go to UVA and then grad school, you will be looking at a lot more than 4 yrs. of hefty student loans! Congrats on your acceptances. And, welcome to adulthood, where financial decisions are weighed on an almost daily basis. :-)</p>
<p>By the way, a lot of parents won't pay anything for their children's education. It's a gift/privilege that your family will help you with yours - especially with four children. Maybe a sincere "Thanks, Mom and Dad, for valuing my education enough to hold off on some retirement savings/new car/whatever so I can go to college at Mizzou!" is warranted? I am not trying to lecture, and my apologies if it sounds that way. Good luck in your difficult decision!</p>
<p>Congratulations on your huge accomplishment in being admitted to UVA from out of state. I'm sorry you're feeling so down about your situation, and that it doesn't look feasible for you to attend your dream school. UVA has an aggressive new financial aid policy (AccessUVA), but it's need-based. Have you called them to talk about your family's finances, and see if there's any way to make this work?</p>
<p>If that's not possible, and if you're really gutsy, I love cheers' advice above (I usually love her advice!). If you defer entrance for a year, you could make a fair amount of money, with a full-time job and possibly something part-time as well. You're obviously very smart and hard-working - there will be lots of employers happy to hire you. When your parents see that you're willing to sacrifice a whole year to attain your dream, they may feel it's right to extend themselves more financially than they originally planned. If you consider this route, don't be put off if your parents initially say "no way" - they'll need a little while to accommodate the idea.</p>
<p>If you're open to the possibility of applying again next year, you should look into the schools mentioned by cheers above. Vanderbilt is very similar to UVA, and generous with merit aid to outstanding students. The Emory Scholars program is another one for you to consider.</p>
<p>Good luck - you sound like a great kid, and I'm sure your parents are very proud of you!</p>