I’m currently a sophomore/junior (transferred into a different uni it’s a long story) health education major and I feel like I’m a lost point in my college journey.
I’m doing well in school. My GPA for the spring and fall semesters of 2021 stands at a 4.0. I like my major, but I have no clue what I want to do with it. I know I want to pursue Public Health because I like the idea of helping other people without being a doctor or a nurse. I like the idea of prevention and caring for a community instead of just one individual. My only downside is that I am terrible at science, and at one point I was thinking about putting the hate aside so I could pursue a major I like. There was a time I had no clue what to major in. Now that I know, I have to make this work.
A little while ago, I made a forum on here regarding paying expensive tuition. This year, I transferred into my “dream school” which I realized at the last minute was super expensive. My family is struggling to pay this fall bill of over $10k. I have no scholarships, a small grant, and I basically rely on loans to get me through.
Majority of the responses told me to withdrawal, work, and find another school. But part of me wants to stay here so badly. I hoped for this opportunity for many years and the thought of leaving it crushes me. But I gave myself a reality check and told myself that my family isn’t rich, and the dream is not financially possible. But my parents also tried to convince me to stay here and it feels like they want me to live out their dream. They want me to stay here, yet they have no clear plan to pay for it. They just want me to take out all these loans, and even try private loans. But I personally don’t know anything about this loan and credit stuff, so I don’t even want to bother with it.
I am a huge introvert with hardly any friends. Since I am at an HBCU, my parents keep trying to convince me to go for a sorority since they swear it’ll grant me “sisters for life.” Not to knock down sororities/fraternities, but I always felt like something was off about them, like they just weren’t for me. They basically make it seem like once I pledge, my whole life will just be perfect, but I really feel like things will go wrong.
COVID has ruined my college experience completely, as well as everyone else of course. I started college in fall 2019, so I really only had one NORMAL semester. I was on campus for the fall, but there were COVID restrictions and you can imagine how that all went down.
I wanna stay in college because I don’t want to work, that’s just how I feel plain and simple. I don’t think I’m ready to have a full-time job. I don’t have anything else to do, so I’m kinda better off at school. But then my future doesn’t look clear like everyone elses. Sometimes, I really wish I loved science and I wanted to actually be a doctor. Or wished I wanted to be a lawyer.
I’m not asking for advice here, I’m just ranting. I’m only 20 and people expect me to know what I want to do for the rest of my life. I don’t even want just ONE job for the rest of my life I kinda want to explore.