I was never really sure what I wanted to do when it came to my career, especially with the little money my family or I had making college seem impossible. I was told about FAFSA and was pressured into doing SOMETHING with my education, so I registered for Lib Arts & Science - Math and Science at a community college. Math is a lot of trouble for me, but I enjoy science.
The problem is that I don’t see it leading me anywhere. I can’t even see myself in the field of science. The only good that’s come of this is all of the friends that I’ve made. One of them is now attending a criminal justice college in NYC. Another is going to head up to New Paltz. Mostly everyone has got their own goals and it’s just now starting to hit me that I’ve got no real direction here. The only thing that drives me is the fear of ending up living like my mom did, paycheck to paycheck and ultimately being unable to find solid work.
My first semester was a failure. I found it difficult to manage my work and college. My GPA hit 1.5 and I was put on academic warning. Second semester was a slight improvement, but my third was much better. Sitting on a 2.9 right now. I’ve probably got 2-3 more semesters to go depending on how my schedule looks in the upcoming months. I’m not sure how much higher I can get. I’ve considered switching majors but feel like I’ve already wasted so much time at this CC (was supposed to be 2 years, might be 3) that I’m horrified to waste more time here while everyone else has already moved on to better things.
I don’t even know what I’m asking. Maybe I just needed to vent. I don’t know who to talk to about this. I’m too embarrassed to talk to friends. I don’t want to put them under the impression that I’m them asking for guidance.