<p>I am going through a really rough time right now. I feel really depressed and really upset about what my life has become. I know it could be a lot worse but I feel so low I seriously contemplated hurting myself today. </p>
<p>In high school I planned to get into my dream college and then eventually go to medical school. I got into my dream school but after one semester I realized I couldn't afford to stay there all 4 years so I transferred to a college really close to home. I have had to pay my own way through college so I have worked all four years. I am a senior this year and I am completely scared of graduating. I hate my major and I have no real career goals anymore. I started out as pre med but I learned it was tough to balance those classes and work. I ended up failing two classes and changing my major to psychology. My family is supportive but they are also really messed up. My sister is chronically ill and my mom is just crazy. I had to move out because I was fighting with her so much because she tries to control my life. I am 21 and I feel like I have no future. I just got a new job and internship and I feel like all I do is screw up at both. My internship leader bullies me into taking on more than I signed up for and can handle. I agreed to only 10 hours a week but I've been working around 20 at my internship on top of my job. She makes me miss classes for my internship and interferes with my work schedule. My new job is at a sports shop but I have no real knowledge of sports and I was thrown on the floor by myself. No one was there to help me and a bunch of customers were asking me questions. I got flustered and couldn't answer all of their questions. My boss doesn't seem too happy with me. I graduate this summer and I'm just lost. I feel suicidal. I'm not sure I could act on my thoughts but I'm at such a low point in life </p>
<p>I don't have friends or anyone to talk to or ask for advice. I feel like a total screw up. All my high school classmates went to ivy league schools and are graduating with high honors. I was in IB and graduated with an IB diploma. I had high hopes. Last semester I had some major health issues and I had to withdrawal from 2 of my classes and tried to concentrate on the other two. I got an A in one (my online class) and an F in the other because I was so exhausted I couldn't go to school. I didn't medically withdrawal because I would have had to pay back the financial aid office (i didn't have the money) and take another semester off school (so I wouldn't graduate until the fall). My GPA is pretty low (2.8) and I have no idea if I could even get into grad school at this point. I can't help but feel disappointed in myself. I just need advice on how to get through these feelings. I have no self esteem and I cry almost everyday. I'm just burnt out on life right now.</p>