feeling overwhelmed

i really think that i’ve bitten off too much to chew this time. it’s summer here but i have barely left the house because i’m taking four online classes. i’m taking precalc honors, ap euro, asl 1, and astronomy honors. i wanted to have this summer to relax a little because my schedule for next year is really heavy with 5 ap classes and 2 honors classes. i want to drop precalc honors and ap euro but i’m so conflicted because i really want to be valedictorian to make my parents proud and i’m so close because i’m ranked 3rd now. i really don’t know what to do.

This sounds extremely stressful. Can you talk to your parents about how you are feeling? It sounds like you know that you need some time to relax this summer. Your mental health is the more important than becoming valedictorian. If you become so stressed that you cannot perform at the level you want, it won’t be worth it. Go to the beach, go to the movies, sleep in…

When you’re on your deathbed, do you want to remember that you went to school full time year round so you could be the high school valedictorian, or would you prefer to remember the fun times with friends, the adventures, the accomplishments outside of school, and perhaps a high school sweetheart or two?

Actually a lot of valedictorian’s do enjoy the latter things. Is number of classes the tiebreaker for a bunch of 4.0s at your school?

Sit down with your parents. Talk to them. Do the best you can do. Don’t make your high schools years this competitive. Do things and take classes for yourself. Follow your passions /interests. Then go outside. Sunlight is good ?.

see. the thing is that it isn’t one or the other for me. i don’t have any friends, i don’t really have any non-academic accomplishments, and i’m a closeted lesbian so any relationships will have to wait for college. i’m just so tired of being the “smart” one because that’s been my reputation since being labeled gifted in 3rd grade, which means literally nothing. i’m boring and dull and i’m desperate for something to make me feel like i can actually achieve something. i feel so lost and overwhelmed and i know that life isn’t gonna stop for me to sort things out.

I’d suggest you drop at least two of the courses now. There is no reason to do this to yourself. I would not stress about being HS val or not – it may seem like “something” now but in the scheme of life it will mean nothing one day after you graduate HS.

I’d also suggest you find something your like outside of school – consider getting a part time job, volunteering in your community etc.

How about you give yourself a number of hours a day for studying, then decide which of the courses you can fit in that time. Let go of the others.

Are there any activities that you would enjoy to try out? Any local places you would like to visit or hang out at? You say you have no friends, ok. Is there anyone that you could think of that might even remotely be amenable to doing something with you? Anyone in your classes that you are friendly with? Anyone you are connected with through social media, Instagram, WhatsApp etc? If you propose an activity, there might be others interested in joining. I am sure there are others that feel the same way you do and that would be thrilled.

You are a closeted lesbian, so no relationships. I understand that you are not comfortable being open about your orientation right now, but please don’t think you are the only one. I am sure your time will come.

You are not just the smart one. You just need some time to breathe and explore other options. That’s what summers are for. Be kind to yourself.

As stated above, take time for yourself if you can but colleges want more then just taking classes. Depending on where you live there might be an ability to volunteer at places for LGBTQ causes. They would love having an extra hand and might put you in a community that you might be more comfortable in. Just Google and I am sure you will find opportunities. Good luck.

Watching the Tony’s and they mentioned an organization that you might want to look into pflag.org. Might be a discussion point with your parents at some point but might need volunteer help also

Being valedictorian isn’t actually that big a deal… it isn’t really particularly rewarded in life, honestly. And it isn’t really going to bring your parent’s love and respect if they don’t already have it for you, so don’t work yourself so hard with the assumption that it will. I’d suggest you let up a little bit on the academics, and try to find an EC for next year that you really care about. Maybe get involved with a political campaign for someone whose views match yours, or a local ballot initiative, or something. Meet some new people and do something that matters to you.

oh my gosh…don’t do this to yourself. I know that Valedictorian means sooo much right now, but once you graduate and are in college you will say “why did I do that.”

I would only try to get ahead in math if you cannot complete Calc by the end of HS.

Your parents will respect you if you are not valedictorian…and if they won’t, that is not the kind of respect you need.

Also keep in mind that summer courses are very very very condensed…so I think you are taking moer than a full time load with 4 classes.

You might want to only do the pre-cal over the summer?
Being #3 is pretty impressive already, please take time to relax and to decompress. You will soon find out that being happy and healthy are way more important than being a valedictorian.
You are not dull, you are lonely. Ask some friends out, do some physical exercises (if you have not done so). Take care.