feeling the asian pressure

Pre-College Issues High School Life
1

<p>my cousin, an alumna from mit, is coming this friday for an interview with northwestern med school...</p>

<p>i have so many cousins and family members that are incredibly gifted, academically, that the pressure has finally come onto me.</p>

<p>i have two cousins that are on full rides at stanford and upenn, at the graduate level</p>

<p>my other cousin is at harvard, in her sr year as an ug</p>

<p>another cousin has graduated wellesley from quite awhile ago</p>

<p>other cousins in korea are graduating from seoul univ, the best in the country</p>

<p>its all so overwhelming.</p>

<p>not that i dont want to do well, but its so horrible when the whole rest of ur family is amazing...and ur not feeling quite up to par.</p>

<p>and trust me, im not one of those kids with a 5.0 who are like, o gosh, my gpas too low...</p>

<p>argh...theres really no point to this entry...im just so frustrated...and finals are next week...</p>

<p>i dont usually live up to other ppls standards, but with all this college junk, its really hard not to</p>

2

<p>yes lol its the same with me</p>

<p>i have a 5.0 gpa too</p>

<p>and i have like 13 cousins that are perfect in grades
and are either doctors, in med school, or in some good college now
and my parents want me to be just like them</p>

3

<p>i understand your frustration. I feel like I'm the "black sheep" in my family, even though I do pretty well in school...of course my cousin 2 years younger than me scores better on standardized tests. And they all stay home on weekends to study...</p>

4

<p>haha im feeling ur asian ness. i was feeling the asianness for a LONG time. outta my 26 cousins, 22 have taken the SAT (9 of which were international) and outta them the lowest score was a 1580. i got a 1520 :( haha. ubes of lowness in the entire family.</p>

5

<p>it does suck to me asian sometimes. my dad was accepted to MIT for grad school, but he just moved to the US, was poor, and so he decided to go somewhere else. It probably killed him to do that, and i get the feeling that he wanted me to go there just like he always wanted to. however, i'm not going there, i didn't even apply, and i feel somewhat guilty for that. my sister also kinda screwed up the whole college thing, so my parents were really looking forward to me going somewhere like MIT, or maybe stanford or princeton. all my cousins are younger or the same age as me, so i don't have to worry about living up to them. i just have to worry about disappointing my parents.</p>

6

<p>I can understand all of your worries and concerns, especially CK611. My own father was poor but in his case attended a top institution in his homeland. He has a strong feeling that going to a top 10 institution is the only path for success, and since I'm the only child , the pressure's on.</p>

7

<p>and its kind of annoying when ppl say things like, ur smart cuz ur asian...cuz they just dont know what its like to be an asian american...</p>

<p>just today my white friend was like, i had to call up all the kids on the debate team (shes captain) and like all their parents couldnt speak english...and i was so surprised at how blunt and ignorant she seemed, especially after having a conversation with her about a topic similar to this over the weekend...</p>

<p>shes also said how she doesnt understand why asians are all about the benjamins...and i told her that its all to do with being a minority, and that this is the one way we can better ourselves from the previous generation...and its just so funny to me how ppl think they understand, but they just dont</p>

<p>there are some things that just arent...able to be understood by some...</p>

8

<p>my parents came over from Vietnam...my dad got into Princeton for grad school, and I get the feeling he wants me to go Ivy as well...I have a "liberal" mom though, who said I can just go where I think is best lol</p>

<p>I rank fairly well among my cousins (~10 of them are going or have gone through college, and from my recollection, only one is an Ivy league student)...it's my aunts and uncles that I'm concerned about...as the carrier of the male line, my dad's side of the family has put quite a bit of hope in me, and I really don't want to let them down.</p>

<p>anyhow...if you want to stand out from your cousins, do odd ECs...it may not please your family at first, but if it gives you the edge on your apps, then they'll come to appreciate it...(I play piano, but so do half of my cousins lol, so my odd job is helping out in my school's computer lab)</p>

9

<p>but...sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves, especially about something we can't change, will get us nowhere...we're asian, yes, but we don't have to fit the mold</p>

<p>5.0 gpa...I would love something like that...mine's like 4.4, but it's not my fault lol; my school only offers 4 AP classes and 3 Honors classes, so I went off to Cal Poly and Harvey Mudd for some extra classes</p>

10

<p>i'm asian too. i have a 5.0 gpa too. my parents are "satisfied"</p>

11

<p>do you guys (girls?) feel like divulging SAT scores?</p>

12

<p>i'm indian with a cousin at WUSTL and stanford. my parents told me they want me to retake the SAT if i get less than a 1570. such is life.</p>

13

<p>I don't have any Ivy relatives. I have some top 25 uni cousins. There's a batch of 4.0uw kids. My aunts and uncles and parents expect me to get a 4.0 too. I have an aunt and all 5 of her kids are 4.0 types. Relatives will look down on me if I break my record or think of it as a 'waste' if I get one B. Hmm...</p>

<p>Oh! And I'm Vietnamese.</p>

14

<p>I changed my mind. A lot of [the pressure] is self-imposed.</p>

15

<p>wow. you people are smart... 1500+</p>

<p>lol. i am not even aiming that high.</p>

16

<p>i completely sympathize with the original poster and many of you, but you have to try to break out of that asian mentality of comparison. It's very detrimental.</p>

17

<p>hey im asian, and i can relate, although not all of the the fam is doing med, they have all been very succesfull.... well what i have to say, is everyone seems to have thought about this before and u must be taking up your time with it. DONT PITY YOURSELF, it leads down the wrong path. my parents are very narrowminded thinking that these little things make me a failure. Just think about all you have done bask in your glory, not your expectations, and continue</p>

18

<p>I used to be like that. Then I realized that many colleges don't care if you have a bazillion gpa, and 1600 SAT... and those colleges whose primary concern are those things won't ever be recieving my application. Trust me Michael Pham, you will get into top 25 schools. Your only problem is that you are so superficial with education. Read the MIT blog. The guys spends approximately 4 seconds on your GPA and 5 on your SAT. If you are willing to dedicate your youth to those 9 seconds, you don't belong in those colleges.</p>

19

<p>Eh. Neither of my parents were very good students. My cousins on my mother's side of the family haven't attended college (yet), and as far as I'm concerned, I'm the best student out of all of them. I have two cousins on my father's side who attended vocational schools for college, one who got into the Air Force Academy, and another who is currently a senior at Penn State (Uni. Park).</p>

<p>So far, we have not had an Ivy Leaguer. My brother isn't exactly the best student, so they've pinned most of their hopes on me. And even though they don't exactly say so, you know they would love it if I went to something like Harvard or Yale. (This is especially the case of my father.) The pressure is on. And not just in the realm of schoolwork, either.</p>

<p>"Oh, your cousins were so much more responsible than you are!"</p>

<p>"You should learn how to play the piano and cook well, like your cousin."</p>

<p>"Why don't you be a good hostess to the guests, like your cousin?"</p>

<p>"Hey, your GPA is only a 3.7 now instead of a 4.0, like it was in junior high? Are you not able to keep up with your high school work?"</p>

<p>Please. I have to bite my lip every time I get comments like those because, in all honesty: I am NOT my cousin(s). I do not WANT to be like my cousins. Nor do I have aspirations to go to an Ivy League, or become a doctor or lawyer, or play the piano, or COOK. The reason my GPA has dropped is because my high school is much more rigorous than most otherse (despite it being public), and getting that coveted A isn't as easy as you think. I'm not about to stay home all the time to get perfect scores on every test, when I could be outside volunteering, or spending some quality time with my mother/best friends.</p>

<p>I want to major in psychology. I prefer web and graphic design over playing an instrument. My dream school is technically an Ivy League...but, at the same time, it kind of isn't. I have my own desires and hopes in life. They may not be the same as my relatives', but they are just as valid and important - trust me, I have no intention of ending up a useless bum on the street, thank you very much. But paying 30,000+ a year for Harvard isn't the only thing that makes your life a success. There is more to life than that.</p>

<p>This is what I think, anyway. Please don't be to shooting me.</p>

20

<p>Well said, Amalthea. I agree with you on your post, 100%.</p>