<p>We've looked at several schools for D2, with several more to come this weekend, a bunch in the spring and two in the summer. The plan is to visit ten-ish. She's a pretty responsible, involved person and has a preliminary list of schools to visit with the expectation of applying to eight-ish in the fall. She's been pretty analytical about her opinions of colleges, has met with admissions people who have visited her school and isn't generally being difficult about any of this. However, in the search for schools to visit and in the visiting process, she hasn't been particularly bowled over by any. Likes several "just fine" and several have come off the list, which makes sense. I'm wondering if we have a poor list if none of them are particularly exciting to her and she doesn't anticipate being excited by any, or if some kids pick a school for purely pragmatic reasons, don't get excited by it, and have a perfectly good outcome. Whadya think?</p>
<p>Son really liked the first college he visited, because it was College! That love faded. We visited 7 more schools over the course of two trips. The last school turned out to be his favorite - the only one where he had a "feeling." But he doesn't talk about it a lot or anything.</p>
<p>I'd be very happy if he didn't have strong favorites and we were able to make a pragmatic decision. It would be great if he could learn to love the one that offers the most merit aid. Son has Asperger's, so after we see who admits him, that is when the real work will start....things like the housing/roommate situation and individual attention from teachers will be a lot more important for him than other kids.</p>
<p>When we first started looking, we visited 3 colleges in Boston, 3 in Washington DC, and one rural one. D said she could see herself at any of the city ones at that time. After acceptances, she revisited some of them and ruled a couple more out, until she eventually came to a decision. She is not a particularly emotional kid, and never expressed "love" for her school, just rationally decided which would be best for her (it was not the one with the most merit aid, but affordable for us). So far (one month in) so good. You know your child best, would you expect her to be gushing over a school? If so, perhaps you do need to keep looking.</p>
<p>We haven't made any visits yet, but I think I've witnessed what you're describing. </p>
<p>Searching for a college is uncharted territory for my Son. Everything looks great on paper, so nothing stands out. They all look alike. Analysis paralysis sets in. </p>
<p>It's like sending him to the supermarket for some apples. Sounds simple enough. Maybe even enjoyable. Then he gets there and discovers 18 varieties of apple. Uh oh. He likes reds and greens. Tart and sweet. Oh, we can rule-out the soft ones; that's progress. Now we're only down to 16 choices. And then he loses interest...again. Wow look at these oranges and bananas.</p>
<p>There are some days when I think he just wants me to tell him it's Galas, McIntoshes, or Winesaps. Period. But I refuse.</p>
<p>Hang in there, zmom. I enjoy your posts and have faith your family will get the most out the whole process.</p>
<p>You mean he's not even considering Honeycrisps? And he should make sure to buy at least one Granny Smith, so he knows he has one sure apple in his pocket. ;)</p>
<p>Thanks DougBetsy! Analysis paralysis. That may be exactly it. I'm going to turn that over in my head for a while.</p>
<p>Maybe she is practicing what we preach--don't fall in love with any one college. It may break your heart. I'll bet that once the acceptances come in, she'll be able to allow herself to fall in love with one (or more).</p>
<p>My son is so laid back that any level of excitement was a good sign. Of the colleges we visited, we only ruled one out completely. He had an immediate negative response once we were alone on the way to the car.</p>
<p>Is she normally emotive? Is being so low key her norm?</p>
<p>Funny story: After spending some time on cc, I learned that parents on here gauge interest in a school during visits by seeing whether their kid wanted a T-shirt from the school bookstore. So, at the last college we visited, which he seemed to really like, I said we should go to the bookstore and maybe get a T-shirt or something. He looked at me like I was nuts. "Why would I get a T-shirt from a place I don't even know I'm attending!?" He is much to practical (cheap) to get excited about anything just yet.</p>
<p>Son was given t-shirts at three of the eight schools he visited. Hasn't worn one yet.</p>
<p>I hope that's right. she's a pretty practical person, so it wouldn't be out of character. I just don't want to think that she's not having a good list because we made mistakes.</p>
<p>Both of my kids had trouble getting very excited about schools visited early in junior year. I felt that we had to get started on it, but I think it just feels too remote at that point for some kids. Things started to get more interesting spring break of junior year.</p>
<p>My kid was like yours, Youdon'tsay. Cheap, practical, and as a junior (and even in the first part of his senior year), saw college as far enough off that he didn't get too excited/worried about the particulars. In visiting colleges, he knew he would be happy at any one of several (including his safety), so he didn't commit to "loving" one until acceptances and financial aid info were in hand. And he absolutely loves the school he is at now.</p>
<p>I see your D's reactions at this point to be a good and healthy thing, ZM.</p>
<p>^ Agreed...hs senior here and it is MUCH easier to fall in love with a school once you have SATs, and junior year done with. To me, it felt like every college was impossible to get into as a junior. Now that I have a reality check, I have been able to get excited</p>
<p>zoosermom - maybe she's just like most of our kids and not really caught up in the process yet. From what I've seen, with D's friends, it's in the spring of junior year that the kids start to show a lot more interest in colleges. Be happy she's willing to look now, so that when the time comes to start applying, maybe she'll have a clearer idea about what she likes/doesn't like, and maybe she'll be in love with a few of them. Or, as you suggest, she may just be a pragmatic person and choose her school based on practical matters like cost or location. Try not to worry so much - I'm sure she'll be fine, whichever route she chooses.</p>
<p>DougBetsy - loved your apple analogy. Many kids are that way, though I suspect it's more boys than girls. It really reminded me so much of how my S goes about making decisions - studying his selection of apples, but then getting distracted by the bananas and oranges!</p>
<p>My daughter got very excited about some schools based on their mailings, and found one or two things about most of them that she liked during our road trips. In the end, she wound up at one she hadn't visited before applying based on several practical considerations, including cost, smaller size, weather, and not being really far from home. After adjusting (she'a a sophomore now) she's convinced it was the best choice for her.</p>
<p>Re: buying things--she visited every bookstore and bought "swag" (using her earned money) from each one so now here room at home sports a Bryn Mawr pillow, Swarthmore cup, Virginia Tech frisbee, and T shirts and/or gym shorts from Chicago, Oberlin, Carnegie Mellon and Warren Wilson!</p>
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if some kids pick a school for purely pragmatic reasons, don't get excited by it, and have a perfectly good outcome. Whadya think?
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<p>I suggested visiting colleges the summer before the HS senior year and my S "declined."</p>
<p>My S played it close to the vest. He put a lot of effort in making his list and articulated that he would be satisifed to attend any of those on the list. </p>
<p>As the EA's came in (both acceptances), I noticed that he still was interested in his very "laid back" way about the others. Of the RD, 2 yes and 2 no. </p>
<p>He didn't outwardly react to the nos. He then took ownership of making the final decision within the financial limitations that had always been in place. He went to visit only one college because he said it "worked" with everything he had to balance. He accepted that college's offer.</p>
<p>His adjustment to college his freshman year was easy, he truly "knocked them dead" grade-wise and seems to be quite content with the choice he made. Honestly, he has discussed his plans for graduate school and I get the impression that is his focus.</p>
<p>He has friends who bought the college sweatshirts, got the bumper stickers, etc., etc. That's just not my S and perhaps that's not your student either.</p>
<p>missypie, son was given a free shirt at one school, and he's worn it once around the house, but not in public.</p>
<p>My son has gotten jazzed about the whole process, you just can't tell. He's not as :D as his mother.</p>
<p>Daughter got a really cute shirt at Seton Hall. It's a pirate, but you'd never know it was related to Seton Hall if you didn't know. That's as excited as she's gotten. Not the most demonstrative personality. You've all helped me feel better. Thanks!</p>
<p>My D bought a mini-wardrobe at the first school we visited this summer - shorts, sweatpants, hoodie, socks and keychain! Nothing at the other three, but that could be because I complained about spending so much at the first school.</p>
<p>Hey Zmom....sounds like my D2! We visited quite a few schools and she was ok with all of them. She is what we call "slow to warm" so we kind of expected that. No great excitement, no great attachment. She HATES to make decisions....even asks us what she should order at Diary Queen!!!! At one point on a college visit to meet a coach she turned and asked if we would just pick a school for her as she could be happy anywhere. Uhhh...NO! Anyway we went to another school that was at her outer distance limit, not a great academic fit and as soon as she stepped on campus she had a huge smile on her face and said this was where she wanted to go. Surprised us for sure! When she met the coach and found out there were private bathrooms she made her decision right then and there! She has already been accepted and is relieved the process is over. Hang in there! They will find a place! </p>
<p>Now if I could just be as sure that this will be a perfect fit for her I might sleep better!!!;)</p>
<p>Good Luck!</p>