@laylamom - thank you so much for sharing your story! Congratulations to both you and your talented D on UNCSA! Of course, I personally love the ending even more than most! I am overjoyed our paths have aligned. Your kind, helpful words have been a great presence on this page.
@shakespearegirl - Way to go girl! Congratulations on NYU and thank you for sharing your story. It’s inspiring to hear about a great match after the long journey.
@actorparent1 - Congratulations to your son and you for finding such a great place for him next year. To have his academic credits carry over and keep costs so reasonable is just a terrific outcome. Extra money is always useful for actors! And you get a special theater mom award for navigating two different paths this year. Thanks for sharing both stories and for great input all year long.
@actorparent1 Wow, what a great story about your S. I actually remember reading way back when you posted about one getting into Marymount and one not…and thought how rough that would be! It is also interesting to hear about kids heading into a BFA program after a break from theater. We encountered a number of young people auditioning for programs with similar stories of realizing that it wasn’t a phase and that this was what they were meant to do. It is so inspiring! Congrats!
@actorparent1 - wow, what a year! That sounds like the best of all possible outcomes - he gets to keep the credits he’s earned but start in a new direction. Amazing - CONGRATULATIONS to your S and to YOU!!!
@actorparent1 Fantastic recap!!! congrats!
Thanks, @HopeinMt, @laylamom, @FourStars, @MomofJ5, @frontrowmama, @CaMom13, @DoinResearch!
@frontrowmama, it’s great to hear that you met other kids who had taken a break from theater before realizing it was what they wanted to do. Nice to know S wasn’t the only one who took a detour before ending up here!
@actorparent1 Way to hang in there with your son and support him in his career and vision change even into a BFA program!
@actorparent1 Such a gripping story even though I already knew the ending. I had tears of joy when you described how she had received the “we want you” Call from Hartt. I could picture her sharing the great news with you on the phone. I am so happy for her!!
Thanks, @Noreplays2018 and @VASkydog!
The story of my son, whom I sometimes reference as Sean Penn, just so you get a feeling of personality.
Programs Applied to: Beloit College, Lawrence University, University of Illinois Chicago, Muhlenberg, Knox College, Illinois Wesleyan
Prescreens: None
Accepted to: Beloit College, Lawrence University, University of Illinois Chicago, Knox College, Illinois Wesleyan
Rejected from: none
Wait-listed at: Muhlenberg
Coach: none, although used Mary Anna Dennard to select monologes
Background/Training: Started performing freshman year of high school, and it was life changing.
Summer Programs: Interlochen Acting for the Camera and Theater Repertory, Ragdale Summer intensive
Final Decision: Knox College
I’ve admired the final decision postings that detail the play by play so that future readers can get a sense of the unpredictability. I do not have that kind of memory recall, however, I will break it down into distinct phases. Also, I’m going to offer a view that is mine as a parent, because I can’t speculate what is going on in my kids head.
Son had theater classes in middle school. He enjoyed it, and the teacher told him he had talent, he actually volunteered that information - he is an introvert, and is very quiet about his internal thoughts. We encouraged him to take an audition boot camp being held as a city community class right before freshman year, and the teacher came out to talk to me. She was amazed at what he did cold. As parents of talented kids you’ve had this moment - when someone else validates what you’ve suspected. Our public high school has amazing everything - including a theater program that boosts well known broadway and hollywood actors. It’s extremely competitive. Kid auditioned and was cast in every play his sophomore and junior year (which is very impressive for our school), went to Interlochen Summer Camp (way beyond our financial means, but his first summer there was so meaningful, and we wanted him to go back for Theater Rep) We actually pulled retirement money to pay for it. Yes, unwise, I know. Kid wins the coveted award at the high school 2 years in a row. Lives for theater, doesn’t really enjoy the rest of school. Freshman year his grades really weren’t good, but by Jr. year he pulled in 3.95 and 4.0. 1 AP and honors courses. Incredible high school has tons of AP courses and is very rigorous, with many overachieving, rocket scientist kids. Son works way harder than the average kid due to LD. Work ethic off the charts.
I get on CC and read like crazy. We start to build the BFA list. I read a book where I learn to apply to schools where kids stats are at the top 25% of the school. I build the spreadsheet. We go to to a NACAC performing arts college fair, and get a feel for how young Sean Penn interacts with admissions. Sean’s being true to himself, and is not playing the game. Any college/university that even has a hint of thinking they’re special/elitist/or that “you’d be so lucky to attend” gets crossed off the list. By the end of Jr. year, Sean is correct to know that the SAT does not capture who he is. Testing is not his strength, it doesn’t define who he is, and no, he’s not studying for the SAT even when $ is at stake. During this time, the money becomes real. It was as if it were monopoly money at first, and then I imagined paying the bills for real. I read CC and learn that people get into schools and then discover they can’t can’t afford it. I discover that I’ve been using average college stats and my kids stats, and really what I need to look at are the stats from my kids high school (with all those rocket science kids). On average, the kids in our high school have a .3 higher GPA to get into a school. I discover the net price calculators. I am now deep in the financial phase, go to the financial section of CC (feel like I get my a$$ kicked) and realize that our household needs to have a plan, what are we willing to do/not do? Oh, Sean Penn’s sister is 1 year behind him in school. We take a hard look at our lives. We’re older-ish, and don’t have time to recover before retirement kicks in. $ plan developed, we go to school to our college support team for suggestions. Champaign on a beer budget?
Sean Penn then states he doesn’t want BFAs, just BAs. He’s worried that he needs to have “something else” besides acting. I am floored. List adjusted. Then, the last week before school starts senior year, Sean decides to be undecided. WWHHHAAAATTTTT?! OK, we go to a “colleges that change lives” fair, since many of the schools still have theater, but don’t declare majors until the end of 2nd year. List adjusted, again. This turns out to be a good move, since many are test optional.
We visited so many schools in this process in which he never even applied. Every school has a vibe that cannot be detected on the school website. The hardest transition for me as a parent was to move from BFA to “undecided”. In particular, not applying to DePaul broke my heart. I still, in May, feel the ache of that passing deadline for the video prescreen.
On the plus side, the schools in which kid applied loved him and were very generous, short of Muhlenberg where he was WL. It was hard to read in CC that kids with 3.3 were getting in with scholarship, while my 3.62 kid was waitlisted. I think the less than exciting SAT score and our high need played into the decision. Kid submitted video for talent $, and received an encouraging note from director, but it was not to be. All other schools were within a 3-4 hour drive, which I preferred anyway, since Chicago is awesome.
IWU had a tour guide that was a little too braggy, so that was a nail in the coffin for Sean. It was a fantastic aid package, but kid wouldn’t even go back to admitted student day for another try. (One cannot stress the importance of that tour guide enough) Lawrence is a fantastic school, but Sean felt that Beloit, Knox and UIC were better fits. (Sean is different, and he wanted a student body in which different is celebrated) Beloit came in just shy on the aid (he loved it there), so it was out. Down to UIC and Knox. Kid attended a play that was fantastic at UIC. There’s a broader range of talent there, but the kids were fantastic to my son, and he felt like he would fit in. At the play I spoke with a student watching, and she summed it up perfectly, these kids want to be there, and in many cases, are putting themselves through school. This kind of tenacity resonates with Sean, who also has to kick in 2K from summer work and do student work while in school to cover books and other stuff that pops up. (In addition to school and theater schedules, he has a part time job on weekends.) He also really liked Knox. There’s was just the right amount of quirky there, and they had the best aid package. Plus, he liked the Rep Term, and the ability to explore. He received talent money for acting and creative writing (he’s a good writer)
There was no magic moment in which my son smiled and said “this is it”. He had no immediate “pull”. There was no excited phone call, no big moment of pain. There was no drama in the drama dept. It was a slow process of elimination. Only one freak out moment when reviewing the monthly payment of 25K of student loans.
As a parent, we plan come out of this with no loans. Kid will have only the federal limit of loans. It allows him to explore who he is, while having a theater outlet. There is absolutely NO WAY I could have predicted his evolution in the past year, but I also think that him attending to his education as a whole person, not just an actor, will benefit him long term. He’s always had good instincts on the stage, and I trust that this will work for him in life. We live outside Chicago, and there are plenty of classes for him to take over the summer and after college. I will focus this summer on “life skills” before he leaves.
2/2
I am much wiser now that daughter is list building. I get to do this all over again this year with her, not theater, so it will be a breeze.
Thank you everyone, to those before me that taught me so much, to those that supported during the journey. I hope this story helps other parents whose kids take unexpected turns in the journey, or parents that are of humble means can still get a kid off to college (if you build the list with that in mind)
My advice to those just starting the journey - think about the money, and determine up front what you are willing to do, and share that with the kid. Let them know if you expect them to contribute. List building is much easier when you know the budget. I told the kids that they could apply if the NPC was a little stretch, but not if there was a big one.
@DoinResearch I loved reading this! Over the last few days, I have truly enjoyed reading the final decision posts. Your story is so very human and real and relatable! Loved it and wishing your “Sean Penn” the very best!
@frontrowmama I love the final decision posts, because I flash back to the memories of things as they happened on CC, and it puts the entire trail together. If someone read my thread history, there’s the 1) Learning the basics phase 2) Learning about programs 3) Getting real about money, stayed in this phase for a long time 4) Changing kid/gap year/community college/what do you mean no BFA?
I like reading other’s end to end, because of the added perspective that we didn’t have while we posted. When I read them, I’m like, oh, yeah, I remember that…
@DoinResearch Wonderful Journey! You are a sage Mother and Sean Penn sounds like an amazing person who is making all the right moves in learning and knowing who he is. Great process and choice! Keep us posted on his journey. Well done!
@DoinResearch - I love your comment about how final decisions put the trail together - it’s like watching a “making of” documentary. Huge congrats to your Son - I hope he loves Knox!!
@toowonderful A documentary film student should make the film - follow 4-6 acting/mt students in their college application process within the larger picture context of college’s impact (or not) of life. Then find actors 10 years out of school, 20 years out of school, etc.
@DoinResearch, what a fantastic story! I love his process of exploring and figuring out exactly what he wanted. (and as a parent, I can just imagine the frustration you felt at doing research, building a list that was supposed to be what he wanted, and then his idea of what he wanted kept changing, and you had to build a whole new list! But clearly, it was the process that he needed to end up in exactly the right place.) Kudos to you for supporting him and letting him find his own path!
But I think I missed something. Which did he choose in the end, Knox or UIC? They both seem like great fits for him!
@DoinResearch - I have loved and learned from so many of your posts! Your wise advice months ago about crunching the numbers really pushed me into a responsible path. About the schools – my S has much of the same attitude as yours. There were several schools he refused to even visit (as they were, in his view, “way too pretentious”.) What I know about Knox - it sounds like Sean Penn will be right at home! Please keep us posted. And best of luck with your D - coming up next year!