@DoinResearch - I loved this story. Especially your description of “Sean being true to himself” and “not playing the game.” I could have said that about my S too. (Btw: in my S’s case, I found that quite frustrating—play the game, get the options, then you choose—- but that’s not how my kid is wired. It’s nice to see Sean is similar!). I have no doubt that Sean will continue to navigate his path in a way that is most true to himself and that this will ultimately lead to his greatest happiness. Congratulations!!!
@actorparent1 Knox was the final choice. I love their First-Year Preceptorial Program, with topics like Creating Monsters, Love, Science Fiction and Human Identity, The American Dream, Travel, Language and the World Around Us, Sexualities in Contemporary Media, Great Oratory, This American Life, The Masculinity of Malcolm X and Women Writing the World. I’m excited to see which one he chooses. Have I mentioned I want to go back to school? I want the conveyor belt that takes away the dirty dishes and discuss This American Life in class. And @Atreuh, if I could have filmed the interactions of Penn at the arts college fair when he spoke with some pretentious schools. I wish I had taped it. As much as I tried to coach him to play the game a bit, he was not having it. The funniest moment was with Big Important School being confused/uncertain how to react when my son upended the idea that SAT scores matter to him, kid was ready to debate them. The key thing as a parent was to learn to let Penn be Penn, and find a school that liked, even embraced Penn. @Atreuh the financial piece was huge for us. The learning curve is so, so steep. Since we had taken $ out for Interlochen summer programs, and refused to take out parent loans displays the evolution of thinking in our house. It is so unique to each family as well. There’s no shortcut for the work that needs to be done. Each kids stats, the high school they come from, the house financials and the schools applied to all play into the aid package. The net price calculators saved us from ourselves.
@MomofJ5 They are young and idealistic…with more life experience, there’s more compromise (unless you’re in government) The reason I use Penn’s name is that the intensity of personality is there. I tried to sway, influence, and get him to see the value of studying for SAT for merit $. I had to learn when to let it be, and honestly, I’m tired.
My D was similar about doing things her way but not about test scores - about other things. Monologue choice, song choice, outfit choice, headshot - all very “her” and all very different. Part of it is she has a HUGE personality and anyone who didn’t like her “way” wouldn’t like her in class! I always tell people when I interview for jobs (I’m a contractor) - “I am 100% honest about who I am 100% of the time because this process is all about finding the right fit - if I’m not right for your client, it’s better that we both see that now!”. I want to show up at work and fit into the team same as I want my girls to show up at school and feel like it’s where they belong.
@CaMom13 - great philosophy!
@DoinResearch - S took SAT in school last April. Fairly good results. We pushed him all summer long to prep for the August SAT…for a better score…more merit aid. Total waste of time, energy and entry fee. Thank goodness we didn’t pay for prep. I’m betting it would have barely moved the needle. He is who he is and it turned out ok.
@Atreuh us too! I forced the 2nd SAT in June, same scores. Could care less.
Here’s a long-winded tale of one kid’s journey (mom along for the bumpy ride):
Programs Applied to: U-Illinois Urbana-Champaign (UIUC), DePaul, Boston University, U-Minn/Guthrie, Syracuse, Western Michigan, Otterbein, Ithaca, Roosevelt/CCPA, U-Cincinnati.
Prescreens: DePaul, Ithaca, Otterbein, Syracuse. Passed all.
Wait-listed at: U-Minn/Guthrie 3/5; accepted 3/21.
Accepted to: U-Illinois Urbana-Champaign (UIUC), DePaul University, BU, U-Minn/Guthrie, W. Michigan, Roosevelt/CCPA.
Rejected from: Otterbein, Ithaca, Syracuse.
Withdrew app from U-Cincinnati.
Background/Training: Started at age 5 – local park theatre camp, just to use up 2 weeks of summer. Got a speaking part. For the past 10 years, S has been part of a small theatre group for kids, run by two great ladies who love putting on shows. One class per week; three musicals per year (Fall, spring, summer camp). Most kids were in it for fun, camaraderie and after school activity. When the directors launched a group for adults, S got minor roles in the works by Shakespeare, Chekhov, Dickens & Stoppard. The parts were small but working with the adult cast pushed him further. This little theatre provided 10 years of steady training and opportunities to act, sing and learn. It was neither costly nor competitive. I believe my S just got very lucky to have found this “family” and the two great ladies (his “other mothers”) who nudged and nurtured the ones who really wanted to work.
High school: Regular public high school (not PA) – drama program with very limited resources. 1 faculty member. 2 plays per year. Drama (“this is not an acting program”) class was part of the curriculum every day. They read a lot of plays – very useful in the lead up to selecting monologues for auditions.
Summer Programs: Theatre camp with the “home” group. The high school and college kids put together their own evening program – putting on one great play each summer. No formal programs.
Coach: Director at his home theatre group. She directed him and recorded prescreen videos.
By the middle of junior year, S decided to go for BFA acting. (He sings well but has never taken a dance class. Figured he could be an actor who sings.) That year, we visited 7 programs. The great thing about these small theatre programs – visitors can often sit in classes, meet the faculty, talk with kids. Very personal. The favorites emerged: DePaul, UIUC, Minnesota, BU. Other schools were quickly ruled out. A few more were added to the list – because we all know the odds.
The best thing he did was apply, audition and get an acceptance before January. At University of Illinois (Urbana-Champaign), kids who auditioned in the fall were notified in Dec. We went to “Theatre Day” in October. He loved the program, did the audition and he was accepted 12/15. This took all pressure off the auditions to follow (mostly at Chicago Unified).
For applicants coming up – I will repeat what many others are advising: Identify a few good programs (BA or BFA) the student likes, with a good probability of acceptance. Apply early, for early decision. Auditionees with an acceptance on the board will feel much more confident in the Jan-Feb auditions.
The first audition of the year: DePaul, on campus. This was his first real audition since October! As he tells it – he didn’t feel prepared and didn’t think the auditors were especially interested in him during the brief interview. He was fairly sure it would be a NO.
On to the Chicago Unifieds. Three days of fun - starting with BU info session, followed by a good audition with McCaela Donovan. (Grade-wise, BU was a stretch. Acceptance in March was quite exciting!) More good vibes on the Guthrie audition (invited to call back weekend!). More the same week: CCPA, Western Michigan and Syracuse – all positive auditions. He didn’t see himself at Otterbein, SUNY Purchase or Ithaca (places we’d never visited).
The exciting mid-point between auditions and acceptances was the call back weekend at U-Minn/Guthrie. S reported later that he was out of his league…that everyone he’d met had more intensive training and many had done the “serious summer camps” (like Cherubs, BU, CMU and in Europe). I’m sure he was exaggerating. One thing I really liked hearing: the program head, Joe Price, asked the kids to tell him personally if they definitely wanted to go there. Interest matters – as it should! While it’s a great program, it wasn’t my S’s #1 – so he didn’t speak up. (Yes, I was very exasperated to hear that!) Ok, then – not surprised to see he was wait-listed. This was when I knew and had to accept – my dream schools were not necessarily his.
Between unifieds in Feb and results in March, he had mentally crossed DePaul off the list and was thinking Illinois (UIUC) would be it. We encouraged him to stay positive and figured there was bound to be one more acceptance (maybe 2?) from the remaining applications. I also figured it would be good for him to get out of town. Going to college has always meant going AWAY to college – right? DePaul is only about 5 miles from our home – closer than both his grade school and high school! But, my S really likes the urban environment and sees his immediate future in the Chicago theatre scene.
So…when the most wanted acceptance came on March 9th, the FINAL DECISION was made:
The Theatre School - DePaul University! In his heart, DePaul was always the place.
It will be great – having him right down the road! I will NOT be picking up his laundry, but we will be able to go to the plays and events!
Many thanks to all CC friends on these threads who have answered questions, provided great insight, commiserated on the dark days and shared joyful news as we’ve muddled through this crazy process!
:D/
Congratulations, @Atreuh! Such great acceptances to choose from. How awesome that he’s going to a fantastic program AND will be nearby so you can see his shows!
That is SO great @Atreuh Having your son down the road is such a gift!!! And he is happy! How wonderful!!
Fantastic school @Atreuh !! What a great story and great options!! Best of luck to him!
@atreah - Congratulations! So happy for your S that he got his first choice! I totally “get” his need to be honest in not saying Guthrie was his first choice when he knew in his heart it wasn’t. You’ve raised a fine young man. Be proud!
@Atreuh - Congratulations on DePaul! What a terrific match, and of course having all the other amazing options means he actively chose the strong program that is right nearby. Win win. It has been a pleasure sharing your journey; thanks for your positive energy all year long.
You will SO LOVE having your S close @Atreuh! We were fortunate that our S was close - we got to see everything (even choir concerts and the last minute “oh yeah - I’m singing a few songs at this event” things). We don’t get to see nearly as much of D1’s things and D2 will also be far. I am grateful for the extra time with S and will be spending much more time on the east coast in the coming years!
@Atreuh DePaul is so so incredible, congratulations!! I LOVE that school. Maybe I’ll hope son will go for MFA? It will be a whole new universe for your son.
@actorparent1 - two at the same time! …I felt for you during the early auditions. That was a lot to juggle! After all the drama, it sounds like these two will be in the right places! Thanks for sharing!
Forgive the length . . . I am sharing lots of detail in hopes that our story helps students auditioning next year.
Background: Our D fell in love with performing in elementary school and was convinced long before her dad and I believed it was possible that she was going to make a living in the arts. She has been dancing and performing in musical theatre numbers competitively and performing in 2-3 musicals per year since 4th grade. She started taking private voice lessons with a professor at a nearby university in high school. She is also a good student We are fortunate to live in a community that really celebrates and supports the arts and there are several youth theaters that give the kids lots of opportunities to train and perform, resulting in a lot of well trained/talented kids. Every year a few of them audition for BFA programs. We also have a strong theatre department at our traditional high school. The director gives the students lots of opportunities to perform, compete and audition for colleges at the state and international thespian conferences and in literary competitions. Although our D was cast in increasingly bigger roles over time, going into Senior year she had never had a lead. Earlier in high school, her Dad and I were beginning to wonder if it was unwise for her to pursue a BFA having never played a lead. We knew a lot of that was because most of her performance opportunities had been in musicals and her strengths are acting and dance and she is admittedly weaker in singing. We know it’s also related to the depth of talent among the well trained kids in our community. Still there was the little voice of doubt if we should let her go for it or if we should encourage her to go to the best school she could get into academically, pursue a safer degree to get a “regular job” and feed her soul with community theatre on the side.
She never lost faith and whether it was passion or naivety, her commitment to a BFA never wavered. Her response to our concern was to say that every show needs an ensemble or supporting actors and that when she got to college that she wouldn’t have to go through the tough emotional adjustment of going from always being the lead to being in the ensemble. She said “I thrive in the ensemble” and dreamed of one day accepting a major award and dedicating it to “all of the kids who never made it out of the ensemble in high school”.
Somewhere along the way her Dad and I had already gotten comfortable with her pursuing a BFA by telling ourselves that she’s a smart, talented and resourceful girl and there are lots of ways to make a living in the theatre / acting industry and that if she didn’t end up in the dream spot on the stage or in front of the camera that she would find another way to make a living in the industry (writing, producing, casting, talent agent, etc.). We also reminded ourselves that we aren’t working in jobs directly related to our degrees.
Then Senior year she finally got the lead in the One Act Play that went on to take 1st Place at Region and 2nd at State and earned her Best Actress awards at both. We have to admit that we were relieved (and obviously proud) that she finally had a lead role under her belt. The awards were icing on the cake and good for her confidence and resume.
After watching talented older kids go through the college audition process with lots of rejections (and in one case no BFA acceptances at all), we were well aware of how crazy competitive the college audition process is. So we knew the importance of having a good, balanced list. On top of creating a list, our D needed to decide whether she was going to audition for Acting or MT programs. She knew she was a better actor and dancer than a singer but the thought of not dancing anymore depressed her. In the end, she decided to audition for both and chose Acting programs with strong dance programs where she thought she would be able to dance as well. Although her acceptances were mostly to one type of program, she is glad she applied to both and doesn’t have to wonder “what if”.
Continued . . .
Coach: None
Summer Programs: Broadway Dreams in middle school, International Thespian Festival between Junior and Senior year. No college sponsored programs.
The List: Her priorities were a respected BFA program with lots of levels of dance classes where she could also have a traditional college experience. She preferred a large school with a football team / lots of school spirit and rigorous academic classes where she would have the opportunity to meet people outside of her major and continue taking writing classes. Her list was a collaborative effort among D, her high school director, and her dad and me.
Applied to:
CMU - Both
DePaul
Emerson
Florida State - Acting
Ithaca
Otterbein
Point Park
Syracuse - Both
Texas Christian
UNCSA
University of Evansville
Penn State - Both
University of Miami - MT
University of Michigan - Both
University of Oklahoma - Both
Webster
You’ll notice that not all of the schools fit her criteria. UNCSA and Webster are conservatories, but they were highly recommended by her director. CMU only requires two general education classes and is really a conservatory on a traditional campus but it’s CMU. University of Evansville and Otterbein were exceptions size wise but she got some early encouragement from them at the state and international thespian conferences and we were impressed with what we learned about their programs. Point Park is an urban campus instead of a traditional campus, but it has 10 levels of dance, amazing dance studios and they are getting readyi to open a fabulous playhouse.
There were definitely some negotiations and concessions on her part to make sure we were being realistic money wise (no NYU or Juilliard and CMU mainly just as a “let’s see if I can get in” on D’s part and “only if they can make it affordable” from dad and me. Miami didn’t make the initial list so we didn’t realize how crazy expensive it is. D added it as a walk in at Unifieds. We also wanted to make sure we were casting a wide enough net so I encouraged her to add a few highly respected programs that weren’t initially on her radar (Syracuse, Ithaca, Emerson and Penn State).
She had the benefit of an early acceptance to Evansville where she felt she would have been happy so she didn’t apply to any non-audition/safety schools. Looking back now, I realize that many we thought were target schools were really reaches.
Prescreens:
Passed all except DePaul,
Penn State MT (but passed Prescreen for Acting) and CMU MT (passed for Acting)
Didn’t Audition for: Penn State and CMU. She never got really excited about PSU even though it fit her criteria and she liked it when she visited. I think she placed too much emphasis on choosing schools because she knew someone who went there or applied there or talked highly about it. Penn State would have required an on campus audition and we were going to have a hard time fitting in the trip so we let it go.
D was flattered that she was invited to audition for CMU Acting but she decided she didn’t really see herself there and would only be auditioning to see if she could get in. When there was threat of bad weather and pressure about missing too many dance rehearsals, we decided to let the CMU audition go, too.
Wait-listed at: None
Accepted to (in order of acceptance):
University of Evansville (BFA with Theatre Performance Major)
University of Oklahoma (BFA Acting)
University of Michigan (BFA Acting)
University of Miami (BFA MT)
Evansville - We visited Junior year and even though it is a small campus in a small city, we were extremely impressed with the show we saw and the faculty and students were so encouraging and friendly that D thought she could be happy there. The lack of dance classes (only 4 over 4 years) was a negative but the clear quality of training put it in the running. And we liked that they do one musical every year including one revival every four years to give the students a well rounded resume. And the idea of a semester at Harlaxton (a castle outside of London) added to the appeal.
Miami - D found out during her walk-in audition that her grades and test scores qualified her for scholarships but she’d missed the Jan 1 scholarship deadline. She also technically missed the application deadline but the admissions department opened the portal for D to apply late. We didn’t visit because by the time she was accepted, D had other acceptances and had narrowed it down to two schools. Plus, the price!!!
University of Oklahoma - This school has been on our radar for several years because we know people who have attended there (and some very talented kids who wanted to go but we’re not accepted). It meets all of D’s criteria. We were super impressed with both the School of Drama and the School of Musical Theatre. They are completely separate programs and you have to apply and audition for them separately. We saw the Drama students and the MT students perform and it was clear that the training in both programs is top notch. The faculty and students are super friendly and made it easy to see our D being happy there. Acting students can take dance classes with the majors but a minor in dance isn’t an option. And it is a good value, especially if your child qualifies for academic or talent scholarships. Our D was very excited to receive positive feedback on audition day and an acceptance from the School of Drama. It was in our D’s top two until the end. We will be forever grateful for the encouragement and food for thought that the director shared about things to consider when deciding where to study and what to study.
Final Decision: University of Michigan - BFA Acting! Michigan meets every criteria on D’s wish list including the opportunity to dance with the dance majors and get a dance minor and being able to audition for dance shows and student led musicals if she’s not cast that semester in conflicting show and there’s time in her schedule. This was D’s dream school all along but we all knew it was a reach artistically. It turns out it was more of a financial reach that we understood, too. We were surprised to learn they have a new policy that they don’t fully meet the financial need of out of state families. If Michigan is on your list, make sure you understand the details on that. Thankfully we were able to make the money work in the end.
Observations / Lessons learned . . .
Start thinking about your priorities and researching schools during Junior year because it is very time consuming.
Have a good list with a mix of safety and target schools (artistically and financially) but don’t be afraid to reach and dream.
Consider auditioning on campus for the schools you are most interested in, especially if it gives you more time with the decision makers. We wonder if it hurt D that she auditioned for Florida State at NYC Unifieds where there was only one person who couldn’t answer a lot of D’s questions and the audition lasted less than 15 minutes.
If possible, audition early for a few schools. D got an early acceptance from University of Evansville after she auditioned for them at a State Thespian Conference. Having that acceptance allowed her to drop safety schools from her initial list and made the many rejections sting less.
Understand your Expected Family Contribution (which will probably be unrealistically high) AND whether any schools on your list have any unusual policies about meeting financial need.
When considering walk ins, ask if you’ve missed the deadline to apply for scholarships.
Thanks for reading and Break A Leg!
Congrats @dramamama2022 ! Nice story! I wished my S would have auditioned for UO Acting as he loved the MT school but didn’t make it after callbacks. I think he would have been better for the acting. And U of M! My son’s dream school for years! But he didn’t pass prescreens. That is so exciting! Ann Arbor is fun and amazing!
@dramamama2022 - wow! What a story. Your D ended up with an amazing program, but look at all the rejections too! This will be a really good story for future year cc-ers to see. So you didn’t get accepted to UNCSA, or FSU, or Syracuse–Michigan and U of O are still possibilities! Congratulations to your D!
@HopeinMT, there are lots of things to love about University of Oklahoma! I hope your S is so happy at BU that he never looks back . . . but OU Acting does take transfer students if it’s not a great fit!
@MomofJ5, I truly hope our D’s story will give future cc’ers a healthy sense of how unpredictable and competitive the process is but also the confidence to put themselves out there and dream. A balance of both are equally important. There were a lot of painful rejections and sad days for my D but there were four exciting acceptances to celebrate as well. And it only takes one!