Financial Aid Suspension Appeal Letter

Hey, so I wrote this as a rough draft. There are a lot of grammatical errors but I want to get feedback on the content before fixing them. Honesty is always the best policy. I appreciate everyone’s suggestions. Thank you (:

Dear Financial Aid Appeals Committee,

My name is L, and I have been a student at “college” since Fall 2014. I am currently 21 years old and have been living on my own with my 3 year old son, C, since he was born. I have never thought of myself as a person who enjoyed school until I attended college. College has allowed for me to genuinely appreciate education and it frustrates me to know that I did not do even close to my best this past year.

There have been a few mistakes that I have made which prevented me from achieving my full academic potential. Going into college, I thought that I had reliable child care through my son’s grandmother, M, but that was not the case. During the Fall semester, I had to withdraw from a Political Science class because she refused to take care of C on Saturdays. In all fairness to her, she did take care of him 5 days and 3 nights a week while I was in class or at work.
The spring semester was when I hit rock bottom both academically and financially. A month in, Mrs.M told me she could not watch C any longer because she thought he needed to be in day care. I did agree with that so I decided to enroll him in “Daycare Name” on a whim. I was still working nights and attending class regularly. Unfortunately with the added expense of daycare, I was spending much more a month than I was making. To make matters worse, Mrs. M slowly began detracting the nights she was available. By the end of February, I was without a job because I could no longer work Friday nights and was constantly late due to the lack of stability in the child care. I could not afford to put my son in daycare any longer so I was unable to attend my classes, therefore failing the spring semester.

I am extremely disappointed in myself for not going in to college with a concise plan, and that is why I have dedicated this summer to finding a permanent solution to the issues that I have faced this past academic year. I have enrolled my son into daycare through HRA and they will be covering majority of the cost. C has been enrolled in “DAYCARE NAME” since 06/24/2015. I have also found work online as a “job title” so that I do not have to have to work nights anymore. This job is extremely flexible and only requires 20 hours a week of work which is perfect for me because it will not interfere with my academic or motherly duties. I have also established a very close relationship with my Program Coordinator , J, and she will provide me with guidance, support and resources to the best of her ability.

I strongly believe that I have taken the necessary steps to ensure my success in “college”. Financial aid is a very important component needed for me to prosper in my college courses. I hope that I have accurately transcribed my dedication to a thriving academic career and that you feel, as I do, that I deserve a second chance because I will not allow my past mistakes to dictate my future endeavors.
Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
L

Look, this is too much, you need to get to the point and not make the reader wade through extraneous info. I didn’t read too closely but I don’t see you stating what your class performance was and how that is going to change.

“While I thought I have day care arranged for the fall, it was not adequate and I had to drop my Saturday class, but did finish all other courses (did you???). Beginning in the spring semester, I also thought I had day care arranged but it fell through. Now I have day care arranged at ABC day care, paid through HRA, and a job. I will be able to be a full time student.”

They don’t care about your Mrs. M or nights. They want to know you have a plan going forward.