<p>i’ve seen bad marriages (my parents) and very successful ones (my ex’s parents, many of my friends’ parents).</p>
<p>I don’t mind it online, but I hate that perfect strangers are okay with telling me I am an idiot for getting married. On the first day of my new Spanish class I was talking to the boy next to me and he asked me about my career aspirations and plans for the future, and I talked about all sorts of other things but mentioned I was getting married, and then he went on a ten minute monologue complete with anecdote about how I am a moron. On what PLANET is that an okay thing to do?! o.O</p>
<p>This is ridiculous. I’m just barely out of high school; now I have to think about MARRIAGE?!?! Good grief.</p>
<p>mflevity, well said.</p>
<p>Don’t panic bluewatermelon. You don’t have to think about marriage yet! Just don’t be surprised if you do eventually end up marrying someone you meet in college. And don’t be surprised if you don’t, either. </p>
<p>When I was applying to college (back in the Dark Ages) my dad told me he was happy with the school I chose because it seemed like the kids there were intelligent, etc, and he figured I’d probably meet my husband there. I was horrified and told him I was not going to college to get my MRS degree! But as it turned out, I did meet my husband there. Wasn’t my goal (or H’s either!) but it just happened to be where we met.</p>
<p>I don’t know, I don’t want a plan, and I don’t want to look for someone; I want someone to “find” me. 
I don’t think I want to get married until I’m at least 30. I had a really sheltered childhood, and I really just want to start having fun for a while.</p>
<p>@futurenyustudent, I not really a marriage proponent but there is a statistic that says if all unwed mothers married their baby daddy that 75% of single mothers would be lifted out of poverty. I think the stat is 90% of single mothers are poor according to some sociologist. That is a good argument, I mean if you have kids with the person you might as well marry them. On the other hand if not then there are 1000 goods reasons not to marry.</p>
<p>glennnat-there’s no reason they have to marry to live together and share resources.</p>
<p>In modern society there are very few things a cohabitating couple can’t do that a married couple can do. Except the married couple pays more taxes (assuming income parity), fight about money all the time, and when they don’t want to be around each other anymore, each party spends thousands on divorce lawyers to stop having to be legally conjoined at the hip.</p>
<p>futurenyustudent, based on your posts that I’ve read here and on other threads, I don’t think you need to worry about anyone wanting to marry you.</p>
<p>@NY, well you do not have to be married as a precusor to sharing resources but it sure feels alot better if your living with someone knowing they cannot just get up and walk away and leave you any time and screw you over with high rent. There is also less of a chance of stds if you have 2 married people who are faithful. Sure unmarried people can be faithful too, but married people make a much more open committment about it.</p>
<p>I always thought married people pay less taxes and get tax benefits for being married.</p>
<p>Much of what you say about divorce lawyers and all is true but I know some people who had normal divorces with no lawyers and split assets amibically and went on their way.</p>
<p>For building a life together there is benefits in marriage, if I am going to spend hundreds of thousands of $$$ on a house and cars, and boats, and vacation homes with a partner, I’d prefer if they showed some committment, rather than be in it half the way. If you marry someone you get along with then you don;t have to worry about the bad. Its like being with someone of the opposite gender who is like your best friend and business partner. If you view it as someone just for sex, then your right marriage is wrong in those cases.</p>
<p>I make no bones, marriage is not for everyone, for some it works better for others. I do not intend to marry because I can’t stand most girls they annoy me too much and are too clingy, winey, needy or questioney. After 3 weeks of dating I get bored with most girls and move on to the next and now I see they are all the same, whine and cheesers with deep emotional issues. I wish I could meet 1 girl who wasn’t a little cry baby and tries to unload all of her issues on me which I think she grossly exaggerates “my dad was an a-hole” NEWS TO WOMEN, everyones dad is an a-hole except those lucky people from American Pie. There are people with far worse problems but they think theirs is the end of the world and thhey never let you sleep after sex. What are you thinking about, sleep now go away. PS. when a man tells a woman to go away she only bothers him more. If I had to spend years around the same girl I’d probably go nuts.</p>
<p>However you are right that marriage is really for women as far as I can see. It is an institution that is designed inherently to the deteriment of man. To tie him down to a woman who will often change personality and weight completly after marriage. Men marrying is a real liability andmany do so under pressure even though they do not want to which is why men are supposedly the ones who cheat more. The only good advice my dad ever gave me was if a man in a black car offers you a ride run the other way and never get married, date but never marry.</p>
<p>If your a man the court will favour your wife in a divorce and give her the children + child support money. women tend to bailout of relationships faster (which is why I suspect they cheat more) so they get a lawyer when the husband just thinks he has a bad relationship, lawyer tells her to get husband to work more money and stop working. Women does so then clears house changes locks throws out hubbies stuff and hubby never knew what hit him and is now paying alimony to a wife who earns more than him and is dating some young guy half his age and is driving in the hubbys old car. Everywhere the hubby goes he hears how his wife is with some young guy in his car having fun. While hubby is at home depressed from divorce and all the people who constantly remind him of it. It is enough to bring someone to the brink and its why hulk hogan nearly shot himself in the head and why in the words of hulk hogan “I can see why OJ did it”.</p>
<p>When was the last time you heard of a live in boyfriend-girl friend murder their loved one, far less common.</p>
<p>My recommendation is if you do get married, get divorce in saudi arabia, there men have rights, LOL.</p>
<p>All in all I wouldn’t marry unless the person was super super amazing for a long time (10 years plus) and we could stand each other still. Then after 10 years and a few kids if you can still stand each other you might as well marry, I mean its not going to hurt you .anymore than already sharing all your resources and having kids/</p>
<p>The only concern I have is if I can stick with the same women for life, it sound slike a prison sentence. After 4-5 times of having sex with the same women you get bored, variety is the spice of life
@lafalum84, O’ be nice</p>
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<p>That was true during the 50’s with SAHM’s. But with the double income families of today, assuming relative income parity they pay more taxes as a married couple than as two single persons or two heads of household.</p>
<p>Besides, a vast majority of girls are ungrateful, needy, clingy little (redacted). You come home from a 14 hour workday and she starts yelling at you for not being home for dinner, when the reason you’re working the 14 hours in the first place is so you don’t have to be living in a ****hole and you can pay off the credit card bills she racks up spending your money every day. They don’t understand your career ambitions and undermine you. Then when they’re done undermining your career so now you’re professionally impotent, they divorce your ass and bilk you for everything you own, then throw you out on the street. Then they move on to their next victim. Conclusion: women can’t be trusted. PEOPLE can’t be trusted.</p>
<p>So don’t get married, avoid common law marriage states, cohabitate for a long time (10+ years), never combine finances, and if you do get married, sign a prenup that covers everything down to a cent.</p>
<p>^ You could make dinner for a change. Why is it always her responsibility to make it when she’s working 14 hours a day too, just to meet her half of the money in your emotionless marriage? If you want to start slugging around generalizations about women, I can give you tenfold for men. Let’s go =p. </p>
<p>No one was born knowing how to make a marriage work - that’s trial and error. If you’re not willing to try, and be persistent/patient about it, then yes it will fail and a divorce will be costly. </p>
<p>If you’re that anti-marriage and having a girlfriend is such a chore, then don’t bother dating. Start buying cats for companionship. Or snakes. Whatever floats your boat. </p>
<p>“Always look on the bright side of life” ~ Monty Python :)</p>
<p>^Never said it was her responsibility now, did I?</p>
<p>Marriages fail. Period. Be prepared for it.</p>
<p>I thought this was a thread for people to tell their “I met my spouse in college” stories, not to debate the merits of the institution of marriage.</p>
<p>The merits of meeting a spouse in college inevitably comes up as an element of such stories, and the merits of the institution of marriage is a part of the discussion of finding someone to marry in college.</p>
<p>“Conclusion: women can’t be trusted. PEOPLE can’t be trusted.”
True</p>
<p>“So don’t get married, avoid common law marriage states, cohabitate for a long time (10+ years), never combine finances, and if you do get married, sign a prenup that covers everything down to a cent.”
Well the problem is if you live with someone for 1 year of the opposite gender = common law husband and wife. The rent for 1 person = 1400-4000 per person depending on where you live that it = instant poverty or pretty close to it to live alone. I know a man who lives downtown for this purpose alone, if he leaves his “girlfriend” he will have to find a new room mate, pay double the rent and double the cost for many thing.</p>
<p>What I will saty is that if women didn’t have an extra hole down where men have a weiner, men would not go through the hassle of even taslking to to them, ny makes many good points, women are highly annoying and illogical. It is possible to deal with women’s illogic, you just have to learn how to fight illogic with illogic, but you have to know the right illogic to use.</p>
<p>Do you want to hear an oxy moron</p>
<p>Happily married man of 25 years, LOL</p>
<p>Did you ask if we wanted to hear an oxy moron or a moron?</p>
<p>^ rimshot =p</p>
<p>“Well the problem is if you live with someone for 1 year of the opposite gender = common law husband and wife.”</p>
<p>There are only like 15 states that recognize common law marriages.</p>
<p>Ah that would be Elon for you. I’ve always hoped that I would find my future wife/mother of children in college, but I guess that I still have 3 more years here before that is shot down.</p>