<p>^ Wow. Just wow. </p>
<p>I feel bad for your future spouse. Actually, I feel bad for your future kids.</p>
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<p>Well that’s a sad way of looking at it.</p>
<p>@romanig I agree with your edit.</p>
<p>A wedding is the start of a marriage; you know a parternship between two people. There’s no “Well I have the final say” unless you want a divorce or an unhappy marriage. Obviously as her partner you can sit down and say that a huge wedding isn’t what you want and you don’t agree with it, and from there if you two adults should be able to work out a compromise. And you being so dead set on eloping is just as bad as a girl somewhere being dead set on a huge, expensive wedding. Don’t be so attached to an idea.</p>
<p>I hope your posts just have some humor in them that I’m not catching over the internet.</p>
<p>EDIT: Re: your latest post, Money or Love a classic choice…Just don’t make the wrong one…</p>
<p>I agree with ya’ll about the cheap wedding. I’d hate to spend that much money on a day that I probably won’t enjoy all that much because any day spent with my extended family is similar to a day spent in the core of hell. </p>
<p>Small wedding ceremony then off to an amusement park :). Yaaaaaay</p>
<p>I believe in protecting myself at all times. In a business partnership, you sign at least a dozen contracts to legally protect all parties in case the partnership is dissolved. A marriage is just that-a business partnership. All parties need to be protected. In case this partnership is dissolved (there’s statistically a 53% chance it will), the division of assets should not be left up to a family court judge, mediator, arbitrator, or anyone else for that matter. Remember: the more time spent fighting over who gets what, the larger your lawyer’s bill.</p>
<p>It’s the only rational way to go. Decisions that involve money are NOT romantic. They should be made in a unemotional, rational manner. Maintaining separate finances with a prenup in place is NOT negotiable as far as I’m concerned.</p>
<p>^ Very romantic wedding vow you have started there, futurenyustudent. :p</p>
<p>Meh. Romanticism is overrated.</p>
<p>I believe in full disclosure. I’m going to lay out my terms from the get-go and it’s take it or leave it with me.</p>
<p>It makes no sense to leave division of assets in the air until the marriage is actually falling apart because of emotions.</p>
<p>I said I feel bad for his kids because his original post said he was a cold and unattached person.</p>
<p>Is it necessary to be so absolute though? :(</p>
<p>What if your wife was hospitalized because there was a complication with the birth of your future child and she didn’t have the funds to cover it? Would you be like “SOL” or be so kind as to hold her in debt to you, Scrooge? :p</p>
<p>I definitely support independence but I’d never have such strict guidelines in terms of money…if I didn’t feel as though I could trust my future husband, I wouldn’t marry him.</p>
<p>Ideally, health insurance would pay. Realistically, I would pay with the hope that she would remburse me for half.</p>
<p>Do you ask for separate checks on dates too? :p</p>
<p>^This is why I don’t date. Besides, most of my friends are girls anyways.</p>
<p>It’s not about inability to trust, I’d do the same even if I trusted the person absolutely. It’s about certainty, predictability and most importantly, the elimination of risk. Would you go into business with a person you don’t trust? And if you do trust them, why sign a dozen contracts to protect each party?</p>
<p>Sigh…
Because I don’t see something like marriage as a business…
And I’m all about Benjamin Franklin: “If you give up freedom for security, you deserve neither.”</p>
<p>If you do, then fine. Whatever floats your boat. :)</p>
<p>Yesss. I’m not the only one who plans to elope. I can’t deal with all of that attention and spending all of that money. </p>
<p>I think I need to start making a disclaimer to guys that I date that if we ever go as far as marriage, we are NOT, I repeat, NOT having a wedding. If we do have a ceremony, it will be small (his parents, my parents, less than 10 friends). That’s all =)</p>
<p>obviously futurenyustudent is not a real person.</p>
<p>^I assure you, I am most definitely a real person, a homo sapien sapien. </p>
<p>Just an emotionally distant one.</p>
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<p>I’m sure he would have said the same thing if he saw the way people get screwed by divorce. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>Prenup sounds like a good idea to me. It can never hurt to hedge your liabilities with a little insurance.</p>
<p>I think a prenup is a must if your gross income is more than $50,000.</p>
<p>I’m not really surprised by anything in this thread. In one of my political theory discussions this semester, we had a debate about marriage and the majority opinion in the class was that the concept of marriage was outdated and that it’s unrealistic to think you can really want to be with one person for the rest of your life. I was surprised so many people really felt that way, and it was primarily the women talking. I guess that explains why so many of my peers have been rude about me getting engaged at 21. They can’t conceivably see themselves getting married at our age so they cant imagine why I would either. </p>
<p>I dunno, I feel like if my fiance and I broke up I’d probably just stay single forever. I have no desire to ever date again. I am more than ready for that stage of my life to be over. I feel I’ve outgrown it.</p>
<p>Personally if I had the choice, I don’t really want to get married. I’ll just have a partner for life.</p>
<p>But at the same time I want a kid, and I think there is still a bit of a stigma with couples having kids out of wedlock. I want to say “screw what other people think” but in the back of my mind, I still know I would let it get to me.</p>