<p>I'm TAing a class and on one of the "tell about yourself" powerpoint projects I couldn't help but notice a few people were already married or even had kids.</p>
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<li><p>What do you think about getting married so early? (one of them had an extremely nice, and I'm sure expensive, wedding. they looked like they were 20 or so. I know it's not too uncommon but seems unimaginable from my standpoint)</p></li>
<li><p>What do you think about getting married at all? I actually can't think of any people my parents are friends with or my parents that are happy (or appear to be happy) with their marriage. Why get married if the person you marry will steal all your money and make you miserable (or have a 40% chance of doing so)?</p></li>
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<p>That’s a good question. I could probably count the number of married college students I’ve met on one hand, so it can’t be that common.</p>
<p>I think marriage is necessary from a social standpoint but a mistake for the individual. Like you said, there aren’t many happily-married people. Isn’t the divorce rate over 50% now? The adults in my extended family seem to be barely tolerating each other; my own parents are miserable together, and for good reason. I don’t know. Tying yourself down to one person just doesn’t seem to have any clear advantages.</p>
<p>Sure, it can work out well sometimes, if both people are level-headed and really devoted to each other. The odds are against it, though. And for college-aged kids, there’s an even smaller chance of a marriage succeeding because they’re probably still establishing careers, finding their identities, and growing up (or not growing up).</p>
<p>I guess if you want to have kids, then getting married is a good idea. But most young people, at least, aren’t even ready for that.</p>
<p>I’ll put it like this: you know when after someone gets divorced, and you find out people were placing bets on when the marriage would end? The person who organized the betting ring was probably me.</p>
<p>I’ve met a fair share of married college students, and I can’t figure out why they’d do that. (Well, besides financial aid stuff.) But to have a wedding when you’re 19-20? I think it’s crazy. There’s barely any time for commitment before that age. No wonder so many marriages fall apart.</p>
<p>As for marriage itself… Well, I’m gay, so I know it’s up to chance right now as to whether I could ever marry. I’m not a fan of marriage itself, but I AM a fan of the rights that come with it. If I truly loved a person and showed we could stay committed, I’d want rights to see her in the hospital or to have a child with her that is legally shared between us. I wouldn’t even consider marriage before I was with the same person for many years, though; getting married at 50 is perfectly fine by me if it meant I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I hate the idea of divorce. The happiest couple I know met in college and has been together for nearly 40 years without ever getting married. They’re only kept together by themselves, not the law. And that’s sweet.</p>
<p>actually the divorce rate is 37%, some statistics dweeb just decided one day to round it to 50%, but anway…</p>
<p>there is a positive plus correlation with a marriage’s sucess and the ages of the two.</p>
<p>personally, I’m feeling quite weary of love and marriage ever since my GF ditched me to date a 29 year old when she was 17. They’ll probably get marriage, but I just cant face the concept anymore…</p>
<p>When asked what the most important aspect of one’s life is, most (if not all) will reply a good/happy/strong relationship/marriage. America, I country of stoic individuals, seems to put far too much into marriage and companionship. Just about no one goes life alone anymore; its like people cant be by themselves…</p>
<p>but yeah, my parents got marriage at 19 and I dont want their marriage…</p>
<p>People get married young in my family. My sister was married at 17 (widowed thanks to Bush). My parents were each married right out of high school (to other people, they divorced quickly… thanks to a little surprise-ME!). I am 18 and engaged but don’t plan on getting married until I’m out of college. Cousin just married at 21 (a few weeks after graduating undergrad- which she did in three years). Two of my uncles married their high school sweethearts and have been happily married for over 25 years. </p>
<p>I agree that many people rush into marriage too quickly when they are too young. However, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. I don’t think marriage is a necessity and personally I would never want to get married if it weren’t for the tax and legal benefits, etc. I don’t think you should need a piece of paper to keep you and your significant other together. </p>
<p>The problem with many young people that get married is that they get married to fall in love or because they’ve knocked someone up, rather than because they truly want to spend the rest of their lives with someone.</p>
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<li><p>Falling in love, finding a life partner, and starting a family are all on my list of things to do. Getting married just isn’t important to me. I had planned for everything to start happening ~30, but if it happens sooner, that’s okay.</p></li>
<li><p>I don’t want to get married. Some other sort of legal union with the same rights and privileges? Sure :). Also, I’m a fan of those prenuptial agreement things ;D. Stealing all my money? I don’t think so!</p></li>
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<p>The married people I know in college are actually in their later 20s, which I don’t think is early at all. They also tend to look a lot younger than they are. But its not my business so I don’t worry about it.</p>
<p>Getting married has financial benefits as far I can tell. If signing a pre-nup (which I think everyone should do) I don’t see the problem to being married.</p>
<p>I got married 2 weeks after college grad. I preach to my kids DAILY that they should not get married until later in life. Although my dear husband & I are still together, there are many a day that I think the entire find 1 partner for life is against the nature of humans. We’ve never “cheated” on each other, but there are plenty of days we have been overwhelmed, stressed, etc and it would be nice to have had a reprieve from one another (and the kids, and work, hell, just a long weekend away from life!)</p>
<p>^^Even after that little rant, if I had to do it over, I’d have still gotten married young. We just couldn’t figure out how to live separately. Living together without marriage made no sense financially.</p>
<p>Christ can we keep the politics out of this thread?</p>
<p>Anyway, I don’t want to get married early. Hell my parents married around 30 and they ended up divorcing anyway. I guess I want to do it at some point since it’s sort of ‘one of the steps’ in life. But I’m signing a pre-nup first. Hopefully I’ll never need it though.</p>
<p>A lot of people our parent’s age don’t seem to have happy marriages. But the people older than them seem to have fine marriages. My great grandparents were married for many many years (I want to say at least 50) before my great grandmother passed away. They were always happy together and loved each other very much. I think there’s been some shift in society that has made marriages much more likely to fail. I don’t know what it is.</p>
<p>Or it could be that the longer you’re in a marriage, the more attached to it you become (“effort justification”). And at some point in life, people probably start to see past the flaws in each other and realize that everyone is the same, deep down, so they begin to love their partners more.</p>
<p>It could also be that, since divorce wasn’t as realistic an option as it is today, people felt they didn’t really have a choice after they got married, for better or worse, and accepted that it was permanent early on to begin “recovery” and learning to enjoy life again. I heard a statistic somewhere that couples in countries where marriage is arranged (and divorce is not an option) were happier than otherwise consenting couples.</p>
<p>I would never get married at a young age, I have to make sure the guy has a good job and is super rich. If he’s not rich, he’s not worth marrying.</p>
<p>"1. What do you think about getting married so early? (one of them had an extremely nice, and I’m sure expensive, wedding. they looked like they were 20 or so. I know it’s not too uncommon but seems unimaginable from my standpoint)</p>
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<li><p>What do you think about getting married at all? I actually can’t think of any people my parents are friends with or my parents that are happy (or appear to be happy) with their marriage. Why get married if the person you marry will steal all your money and make you miserable (or have a 40% chance of doing so)?"</p></li>
<li><p>We’re getting married probably within one or two years of graduation. It’s perfect for us. I have known people who have gotten married even earlier and had kids already, but most of them were part of religions where it was the norm to marry immediately at 18. My sister actually got married when she was 19 and started having kids right away, she’s 27 now and has five children, but unfortunately she and my brother in law are STILL working on their bachelors degrees. That’s the downside. I will not have children until my JD is finished regardless of if I am married. And we chose not to marry until after we are done with our bachelors so that we can stay on our parents health insurance for a while. I don’t have any anyway but he does and I don’t want him to lose it until he can get insured by his employer.</p></li>
<li><p>Most of the married couples I know are very happy, and those that are not are making obvious mistakes that I have learned from. My fiance and I put a lot of time and effort into keeping our relationship healthy in every way. If you’re with the right person and it’s the right time, you don’t have to worry about them stealing all your money. That’s not to say my relationship is perfect, far from it, but we make a very good team and we are good for each other. As long as we have patience, compassion, and we put forth the effort necessary to keep each other happy we’ll be fine.</p></li>
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:P</p>