<p>We came here from far away 14 years ago letting behind family and friends. Once we started to have a new group of friends, we have to move from the Southwest to the East Coast, and again by ourselves. Being a family of four when the first son leaves home, it takes a long time to adjust to the idea hes gone. Having the second child going to college next fall, doesnt help at all, and having a D dumping her long time BF that was part of the family neither.
This is my first birthday without them, last year I cooked empanadas and the kids made dessert and a beautiful birthday cake with candles (my wishing candle was having another birthday like that, the five together or maybe with a sixth person, a new adopted daughter).
Where can I get a cheer up pill? I do need it. I know my son will call; Id wish my adopted son do the same, but he is so hurt, that he wont do it, and I understand that.
How do you deal with the loneliness of the first year college?</p>
<p>Happy birthday, Cressmom! I really hope I don't have to deal with the loss of a significant other who has become part of the family....I'm already planning the grandchildren. A very good friend of mine who is a few years older than me finally told her son to stop bringing girlfriends home from college because she got so attached to them that it broke her heart when the relationship ended.</p>
<p>The first year blues go away. The kids do come home from time to time, and they love the safe haven. It's more about you--and the fact that your own personal identity has become "Mom" instead of that other person you used to be--who actually has her own name and does interesting things besides raising great kids. This is just another phase of life, you'll come to enjoy it.</p>
<p>Happy Birthday, Cressmom! I don't have any pearls of wisdom to offer, but I do hope that you have a great day. :)</p>
<p>Happy Birthday, Cressmom! I hope you find happiness today & always.</p>
<p>happy birthday cressmom!
I had my birthday last week- and I had to call my daughter eventually, myself cause I was busy and then I was going to bed!
But I am happy that she is happy and busy :)</p>
<p>( I am so distracted that when my H bought me a birthday cake and lit the candles, I walked away after H & younger D sang happy birthday before blowing them out! ROFL)</p>
<p>Happy Birthday, Cressmom! Here's what I recently came to realize. Although DH and I were bit in the dumps for a couple of days after dropping off DD at college, we cheered up quickly when she told us how wonderfully things were going and how happy she was. I don't know why, but for the past week or two, I have been feeling in a funk. I think I'm really missing DD ... I know I'm missing her! Having read a few threads from students who are also missing their family members and wanting to come home, I think it's perfectly normal to feel the need for a "cheer up pill". We miss our kids and they miss us, but we can be so very proud of them ... they're spreading their wings and becoming much more independent ... something we taught them. I'm sure your son will call with birthday wishes for you and when he does, I'll bet that will lift your spirits. I hope you have a fabulous birthday! Pamper yourself and enjoy your special day. Happy Birthday!</p>
<p>Thank you so much! My son did call, he was very sweet. The other one did not, but I understand that.</p>
<p>You seem to be the first (brave) generation here from another culture. While I'd love to say my college-aged kids never forgot to call on my birthday, I'd be lying. On the other hand, I can clearly remember suddenly remembering my own parent's birthdays days later.... once you are out of the nest, you seem to get a grace period - the younger you are the wider it is. As long as my kids remember to call within a week, I'm satisfied. If they send a card or anything, it's gravy. Now when they get to be the "grown-ups" themselves, they have to be resposible!</p>
<p>Happy Birthday Cressmom! We share a birthday!! It was really hard not having my D here for my birthday too. She is the girl and rallies her older brothers for these occasions. I was in a funk this morning too! But the boys rose to the occasion. My sweet son who works at my school (I'm a principal).gathered all the kids on the yard to sing to me:) Then both my boys took me to dinner because my husband works nights. D called me as I was driving home from dinner. Started funky but ended with a smile:) I miss her sooo much, but I know how busy and happy she is.(Even though she is recovering from a very broken heart which keeps me worried) Blessings on your birthday.</p>
<p>Happy Birthday Cressmom! I know what you are going through-2 years ago, I dropped my daughter off at school after winter break on a day that was (1) the day before my first birthday without her at home; and ( 2 ) the day after she broke up with a boyfriend who had become part of the family -and who used to call my husband and I at home to say hi duriing his freshman year at college. I sobbed all the way home! It does get easier as time goes on-since you are missing the kids so much, I am guessing that your family is close, which should make you feel good about the good job that you have done! My 2 college kids came home for fall break today-both wanted to go out to dinner as a family tonight, which really made me feel good. They are busy at first as they get adjusted, and may forget to call as often as we would like-but they do come back :)</p>
<p>Happy Birthday, Cressmom! I'm glad your son remembered to call. I'm trying to remember whether I remembered to call my mom when I was a freshman. I hope I did.</p>
<p>Cressmom~</p>
<p>{{{{{GENTLE HUGS, honey}}}}}}} and a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you!!!!!</p>
<p>I can very much relate to your feelings. Last winter, I had a terribly difficult time being without my son on HIS first b-day away from home and also, not having him here for mine (and for the rest of his sibs' birthdays). </p>
<p>I know, too, how you feel about your "adopted son." We have quite a few adopted kiddos too, my oldest son's girlfriend of two years, my oldest D's bf of two years, and various of their other friends who call me "mom" and share in our lives intimately. I DREAD the day that any of them leaves the fold for any reason.</p>
<p>I am <em>VERY</em> glad that your son called you and that he made you feel special on your birthday. I am sorry that you didn't hear from your adopted son, but in time, as the pain of the break up subsides, I hope he will be back in touch. I'm SURE you mean as much to him as he does to you.</p>
<p>I hope your family treated you well today and that you were as pampered and spoiled as you deserve to be! Again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY and best wishes for a fabulous year and for a lifetime of the riches bestowed by love. ~berurah</p>
<p>Berurah, you need to clear out your storage. (It is probably filled with requests for a cyberhug for Cressmom)</p>
<p>mardad~</p>
<p>I have cleared some space! I've been too busy/lazy to do that, so I appreciate the prod! :) ~b.</p>
<p>Thank you so much to all. I'm feeling better knowing that I'm not the only one in this. Next step will be my son's birthday, but I feel I can handle. My "adopted" son is still gone, and his parents are angry and blame me for letting my D to break up, they don't understand I"m sad too.</p>