<p>Until Late August boarding wasn't even on our radar. Ever. And we're scrambling to learn and prepare and apply. I've been calm and level-headed thus far, but going into this visit/interview tomorrow with my son (and having to do this without my husband being able to join us) I'm beginning to feel like I'm pretending to be someone more knowledgeable, more educated, more prepared.</p>
<p>How do I justify knowing that this is the right move for my son when my own education held little value to me, having barely graduated HS and then not finishing college? And going into this knowing that we can't attend, even if accepted, should we not receive more FA than what the PFS estimated we may be eligible to receive...</p>
<p>My number one goal at the moment is to make sure none of these fears or sense of not belonging in this world are visible at all to my son but will the admissions people see my doubts? Will that hurt his chances? It just feels so intimidating all of a sudden. </p>
<p>Has anyone else felt this way during the BS exploration process?</p>
<p>**Also we are visiting Culver Academies on recommendation from a few wonderful parents here on CC, so thank you for leading me toward a potentially perfect school for my son that's also within 3 hours of home.</p>
<p>You might not be “certain” it’s the right move for your son until later in the day, say, after acceptance and re-visit. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t positive about the whole business, after taking the time to look into it, as you have, and can convey that to the school AO. In other words, it’s okay to have some doubts, and to be honest about them, if you have substantial reasons you can convey for being there at the interview and wanting to continue the process. Even when admission seems like a long shot, perhaps with the FA situation weighing on your mind for that, the process of going through this can be a wonderful learning experience. </p>
<p>Keep it all in perspective, including the time and resources devoted to it all, and you will probably feel that walking away the wiser was worth it. Some parents’ main concern is the child, though. What about Johnny getting totally turned on, only to be crushed. So, the other concern is whether Johnny can approach the process with a broad understanding as well, acquire that mature perspective based on facts and emotional balance, and come out ahead no matter the M10/A10 results. (From this standpoint too, you want to think carefully about the apply to list as these boards advise; there are options, from “go big or go home” to a list of varied selectivity.) I don’t know about the “night before” timing of all this, but I am for full disclosure with the children – if they’re old enough to live at school, they’re old enough to know how their parents feel about all of it. You will be sacrificing in many sorts of ways for his boarding experience, but are you willing to explain why you would do so? This is usually important for both parents and kids, and in my family, it’s an open discussion. We wanted everyone on the same page. Good luck!</p>
<p>I would suggest framing the visit as an “exploratory” adventure. You are checking out an option that may be attractive to your child. Certainly frame it as “if you like it AND the financial support comes through THEN we can think seriously about it”.</p>
<p>Don’t stress about your academic background. The school of hard knocks has likely granted you many advanced degrees, and you have learned to value other people apart from their academic titles too. </p>
<p>This is not about you much at all, but about your child. Point out to the AO why you think your kid is a good candidate for their school and seem supportive. That’s all the AO is looking for from parents. </p>
<p>Maybe you won’t like it. No harm done. College will come soon enough (but you usually don’t have to interview!).</p>
<p>Try to just let yourself enjoy the adventure. It really is fun visiting such amazing places, and the admissions people are very welcoming and easy to talk with; it’s their job to be so, after all. Boarding schools are a new world to me, too - it’s my son’s idea - but no matter what happens, I’m glad we are going through this process. My children are learning from it, and so am I.</p>
<p>You are not a poser. You are just like the rest of us 1st time BS parents. Many (most?) of us parents & students on this forum are new to the BS world and participate here to learn more about this unconventional path, and to share our own learnings/failings in how we got here.</p>
<p>We have also agonized over whether BS has been the right course for our child. DS is enrolled in this 3rd year now, and we sometimes wake up at night wondering if this was the right decision—then again, we wake up at night wondering about other things in life, too.</p>
<p>The BS AOs are consciously trying to assemble a socio-economically diverse class; otherwise, why else would nearly half the kids be on FA? The AOs are VERY SUPPORTIVE to 1st time parents and no doubt will be VERY WELCOMING to you at the interview. Relax and enjoy the visit.</p>
<p>Oh, and we are in the same boat financially and I have a bit of the “poser” feeling too when AOs are being lovely and seemingly trying to woo us and I know we can’t pay the tuition. But it’s still kind of fun! 
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<p>Remember that the AOs would need FA to enroll their own kid in the school.</p>
<p>Good point, GMT. I’ve been an adult member of boarding school communities for a long time now, and have done some admissions work. It’s refreshing to meet parents who want an excellent education for their kids, even if the same opportunities were not afforded them. And it’s delightful to spend time with parents who are within shouting distance of middle America – it’s too easy for perspectives to get skewed in the boarding school bubble. Those of us in these schools are, in fact, a lot more like you. So, while development may not be dancing at the thought that you’re visiting, plenty of people will be very happy to see you.</p>
<p>This is all amazingly helpful. And yes we are keeping things in perspective. Looking then if we like what we see and the aid and acceptance come through then it becomes more than an exploration. I’ve had this frame of mind from the beginning but suddenly got hit with that fear of simply getting through the day. Regardless its my son’s idea and I want him to feel confident enough to explore all kinds of ideas and not hold back because of some invisible limitations we inadvertently put in place.</p>
<p>It’sNotHogwarts,we all appreciate your courage to discuss your basic fears. I am certain that the admirable kindness and support of members of this community will help sustain you. I wanted to give you this little testament, perhaps it will be of some small solace: I am a GLADCHEMMS grad, heavy into alumni activities with a couple of college degrees, and I have a DC applying to bs, my school and others for next fall. You might suppose that I have a level of comfort and experience that protects me from anxieties such as yours. If you do suppose, like Moses, you suppose erroneously. How do I feel? Utterly at sea. My bs experience was ages ago and my school now is a completely different (happier) planet. We too require FA. The intricacies of current application requirements, the multiple layers of variables and uncertainties, the pressures on our family - all are upon us, irrespective of my past experiences. In short, we suffer too, bewildered and anxious. The only recourse is to be content to let our children go forward despite doubts and the odds, and do their best. This experience in itself is an education, well worth the cost, regardless of outcome. I hope that is some comfort.</p>
<p>When you visit the schools and look at the existing students and their admission statistics, you might be overwhelmed. I was. </p>
<p>As long as you are mentally ready to support the boarding school education for your child, I think that would be enough for visits. I hope you can discuss your current situation in further details with them without feeling like a poser. They accept students with various socioeconomic background and you are not alone. </p>
<p>Please enjoy your visit and try to get to know about the school as much as you can. No need to hide your nervousness or concerns.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone! Just arrived at school 30min early despite icy roads. But note to self…slow down on coffee when driving to schools in the middle of nowhere. Had to wait 45min to locate a place to stop a mile from school. It was a liqueur store that luckily was open in the morning and ironically the owner has two students who attend the Culver and they love it.</p>
<p>Visit went great! Everyone was wonderful. Couldn’t have paired us with a better student guide for my son and he was thrilled to sit in on a physics class. And wow…what a beautiful campus and great faculty students.</p>
<p>I’m happy for you that it went well…</p>
<p>Wow great start!
Your learning curve will make you feel less nervous and enjoy more from your next visit.<br>
All the best!</p>
<p>The strict military school dress really did seem to hide any details about students’ socioeconomic status. No one has their own clothes or shoes in closets. Everyone has school coats hats scarves gloves and laptops. I hadn’t really thought about that benefit of strict uniform. Several schools have uniforms or dress code but then certain nights you dress up for dinner. Certain days of the week you can wear athletic wear. Other days its a coat and tie. Then your own clothes after hours. Seems really confusing and also like you have to bring tons of clothes. I wasn’t sold on the military dress before but I like it more after rationalizing it that way. Closets are only so big.</p>
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Haha, this is funnier to read than you probably intended. ;)</p>
<p>So glad that the day was a success!</p>
<p>I was going to say that the first thing that always happens when we arrive at a school is that we are asked whether we need the rest rooms.</p>
<p>I totally have a “mom bladder” and toss in too much coffee and yeah…</p>