First SAT Essay

<p>Hi, guys. This is the first SAT essay that I've written. I just want to see where I stand. I only gave myself 15 minutes to write it though. I haven't compiled a list of examples or researched any good examples to write about so this explains the made-up examples in this essay. :P </p>

<p>Can you guys grade this and give any advice? Thanks. </p>

<p>"Is compromise always the best way to resolve a conflict?" </p>

<p>Compromise is the best way to solve a conflict because compromise leads to a favorable outcome that is neither extreme nor unfair. Analysis from literary works clearly demonstrates that compromise is always the best way to resolve conflicts. </p>

<p>As demonstrated by the 16th century short story Educational Struggle, it can be seen that compromise is the best course of act in dealing with a conflict. In this short story, there is ah school whose purpose is to train young boys to be future government officials. The school, a highly prestigious one, has always been a strict and oppressive one. The students often felt that they studied in a hostile environment. Thus, to avoid such harsh treatment, the students neglected to come to school much of the time. The attendance rates of the boys were very poor. To reform this grave dilemma, a new teacher was hired. This new instructor was highly flippant. He did not teach with seriousness and made too many jokes. As such, the boys came to school in increasing numbers but only to foot around and play pranks. The headmaster then enacted a compromising strategy. The environment and curriculum would not be very strict not very playful. This resulted in increased attendance rates and increased educational performance of the guys. This example shows that compromise will lead to a favorable result that is not extreme. Thus, it can be seen that compromise is the best way to solve conflicts. </p>

<p>Another example that illustrates why compromise is the best way to resolve conflict is the imperial rule of the fictional country Shalimar by France in the novel Bombat Monroe. In this novel, Shalimar is a medium-sized island off the coast of African that has long been under the imperial rule of France. Under France's control, this country is delegated to produce goods for the benefit of France. As such, the farmers and laborers of Shalimar live under great poverty, struggling to meet the impractical demands of France. Under this great strain for many years, the citizens of Shalimar decide they had enough and they endured a long and bitter struggle for revolution to free themselves from France. After this was accomplished, the people of Shalimar found it hard to sustain themselves. They had received all of their supplies, machinery and resources from France. It was seen that this newly-freed country could not survive on its own. After compromise between France and Shalimar, it was decide that these two countries would be mutual trade partners. France would not demand unreasonable goods quotas from Shalimar and Shalimar would not be completely independent. Through the compromise of these two countries, extreme decisions and actions were avoided and a favorable outcome resulted. Thus, compromise was the best way to solve a conflict in this instance as well. </p>

<p>After a thorough analysis of the short story Educational Struggle and the novel Bombat Monroe, one can see that compromise is, indeed, the best way to solve a conflict. Without compromise, the end result of often an extreme and unfavorable one. Compromise is the best way to ensure a favorable result for both sides of a conflict.</p>

<p>This resulted in increased attendance rates and increased educational performance of the guys.</p>

<p>boys* … -___-</p>

<p>Bump…</p>

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</p>

<p>? </p>

<p>You make a fair argument in favor of compromise, but your first example sounded as if it were fabricated. The style is a little formulaic, but if one were to grade on the soundness of your argument alone, I’d say that your essay is pretty convincing about how compromise - how avoiding the two polar extremes - is the best path. </p>

<p>The good thing is how you could write such an essay in only 15 minutes :)! I think with more planning, and 10 more minutes, you could write a great essay.</p>

<p>Edit: Never mind…</p>

<p>Ah, typo.</p>

<p>The environment and curriculum would not be very strict NOR very playful.</p>

<p>So, I think I need to make sure that I have many examples retained in memory for quick access during the actual SAT.</p>

<p>Boy, you went in too deep with your examples and your essay was becoming a textbook. Seriously, I would just give you a 4/6 and be done with your essay (that’s actually how readers grade essays).</p>

<p>While you have a rigid structure and set up a valid argument, you lack the style to give this essay colors. Everything sounded too plain and your deep dip into your examples pretty much makes it hard for me to concentrate on how it relates to your argument.</p>

<p>Keep in mind that if essay readers can’t find something in your essay, they’ll automatically assume you don’t have it. Also each reader reads hundreds, if not thousands of essays skimming each one at the approximate time of 2 minutes per essay. Unless everything is clear and concise, readers will miss something and your points will suffer.</p>

<p>Just my 2 cents. It might have been an interesting essay but I put myself in a reader’s shoe and I couldn’t force myself to finish it. It looks like a 4/6 for me so I’m just gonna give that score and move on to the next essay.</p>