one week to go... how good is my SAT essay?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
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<p>hi, my sat is next saturday and I think my essay is still not good enough... can you grade this one please?</p>

<p>Assignment: Is compromise always the best way to resolve a conflict?</p>

<pre><code>We all face problems but we do not all react similarily. I believe that we should not compromise, on the contrary, we have to develop our own point of view, be convinced by it and try to persuade others to adopt it.

As a proof, let us consider the fight of women to access to their rights. Women have always struggled for their complete civil and political rights. Although most countries enfranchised women in the twentieth century, feminists were not satisfied of being given the right of vote but persistently fought for their full socio-economic integration. The results are more or less satisfactory nowadays with women playing important roles as prime ministers, vice presidents or other in different countries.
Also, we can study the refuse of compromise in Shakespeare’s play Romeo and Juliet. Despite being the descendents of enemy families, the two passionate lovers refused to lose their beloved, faced the judgments of their families and did what they wanted. Although they suicide shortly after their marriage, they did not compromise.
The picture of Dorian Gray, a novel by Oscar Wilde, depicts the dangers of compromising the principles of Moral. Dorian Gray, in his obstination with preserving his beauty and youngness, sold his soul to the devil. However, the result was his suicide. His first compromise provoked a series of crime he could no more afford.

In conclusion, we can assert that we must strongly adhere to our believes, and avoid ruining our lives because of others’ judgments. If we are convinced by our way of doing things we should stick to them.
</code></pre>

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<p>anyone please ?</p>

3

<p>You need to stick with one example and add great detail to it. If you want to add multiple examples, you will need to use strong concrete supporting sentences. </p>

<p>Read this 12/12 essay as an example</p>

<p>The power of success can be disastrous when placed in the wrong hands. Naturally, there are those who will always choose to manipulate conditions to succeed in their own endeavors, not taking into consideration the lives of those around them. On the other hand, there may be those who do not necessarily pursue selfish ends, but simply do not know where to take success once it has been achieved, thus resulting in their own self-sabotage.</p>

<p>Throughout history, we have seen success used wrongfully in the hands of the unworthy. Powerful leaders of nations, kingdoms, and empires, having succeeded in gaining leadership, have then used their influence wrongfully in achieving their own selfish (and sometimes twisted) goals. Nero, the Roman emperor who beat his pregnant wife to death and has been suspected of instigating the great fire of Rome in an attempt to boost his own political influence. Henry VIII of England, for whom women were beheaded for not bearing him a son, and who is rumored to have eaten eight chickens a night while English peasants starved. The notorious Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain, who carried out the Spanish Inquisition. The list is endless. Even in literature, we see the corruption and downfall of society and mankind as a whole as a result of the abuse of success in the possession of those who do not deserve it, as seen in William Shakespeare’s tragedy of King Lear. In the story, societal order is replaced with chaos when there is a power shift from Lear to his evil daughters, Regan and Goneril. This order only returns to a slight degree when virtue (in the form of Lear’s good daughter, Cordelia) returns to England. Success is hazardous when awarded to the unvirtuous.</p>

<p>However, there may be those who are not necessarily evil of greedy in their pursuits, but merely do not know how to handle success. This proves to be just more disastrous to the individual than to anyone else, since it is the individual who will then sabotage his own success to return to his former comfort zone. Success is meant to be grown upon, not exploited or feared.</p>

<p>Success, when achieved by the unworthy or inexperienced, is a most disastrous element. Success is not about being happy at the expense of those about you –it is about using one’s newly gained happiness to improve the lives of others. If one reflects on the wise words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, one will never go astray: “To know that one person has breathed easier because you have lived -this is to have succeeded.”</p>

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<p>This is my own criticism, but I would leave out “I believe” because it detracts from your argument. It’s more convincing if you simply state your belief, as it appears more firm. You also need to expand on your example with more details and analysis if you’re aiming for a 12. There have been rumors that the longer your essay is, assuming that it’s also a decently written essay, the higher the chance of it getting a good score. This may or may not be true, but you definitely should further delve into your examples.</p>

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<p>kk415kk: It’s not necessarily true that a long essay can get you a great score. A friend of mine wrote over 400 words on her essay and got a 9/12 while another friend wrote only 360-something words on his essay and got 12/12. An essay needs to be supported with reasoning and examples and that cannot be done without a certain amount of words. You can’t persuade someone to think that “compromise is/isn’t always the best solution” with a few sentences or a few short and incompetent paragraphs. However, a long essay can’t be full of useless content such as an unnecessary explanation about a person’s life when all that’s needed is his/her accomplishments.</p>

<p>OP: Your thesis is kind of strong. You believe that we should not compromise when the prompt asks whether comprise is always the best solution. You have quite a few noticable idiomatic and grammatical errors and your examples are too concise to really prove your point effectively. Based on sample essays I’ve read, I’d have to give this a 3/6.</p>

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<p>That’s why I qualified my statement with “assuming its decently written” and made a disclaimer :stuck_out_tongue: I understand what you mean though.</p>

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<p>so u gotta balance your arguments right ?
like for and against …</p>

8

<p>No, you have to pick a side and stick to it!! You don’t have time to argue both sides because your examples will not be developed enough.</p>