First-Timers: The Stressed Parents Thread

<p>MichaelNKat -- Loved it!! (Yes, with TWO exclamation points.) So the question I have now is, what the heck are you doing with all your free time?! Sounds like you needed a new hobby, did you find one? Of course, you can always create a spreadsheet for, umm, something. . .</p>

<p>tiffw - Well, my son is getting ready to apply to law school so I guess.....nah!</p>

<p>AHH I so remember last year!! While ALL the above is so very true and funny I don't think that as a parent of a M/T you ever get to really really de-stress & relax.<br>
The auditioning is ongoing and well that's a good thing right??!!!??????!!!!!!???? :confused: ;) :)<br>
Enjoy (try) this bonding time before they leave...it DOES go fast! :)
P.S. I too have a senior graduating this Spring and moving far away as for work experience before applying to grad schools. :eek:</p>

<p>Michael, I believe you have taken MT parenting to a new level! I bet all of the drawers and closets in your house are very organized! I love it! (!!!!! a few more to be on the safe side)</p>

<p>Bless all you "check your status" parents! I have a confession! I even did it at the Unifieds in NY! And the great thing was, an acceptance to IU was posted! So, if worse comes to worse -- it will be a decision between Marietta MT and IU Drama!</p>

<p>What a great thread!
Must admit--I, too, am a closet "status checker":) Glad there are others out there sharing the same obsessions and compulsions. I was beginning to think I needed to seek out therapy! But come to think of it this forum is just what the Doctor ordered. It is does seem to be a great stress reducer by our bantering and a good way to pass the time as we play the waiting game. Thanks for sharing your stories...Can't wait to hear all the good news as it comes.</p>

<p>srw- That's part of what was so funny about my mania. If you saw my bedroom, I have piles of books and magazines on the floor by the side of the bed, my desk at work looks like a bomb hit it and in general all my spaces look like a vacuum in space into which debris has been sucked. But when it comes to learning about new things or special projects, I hyper-focus and become very linear. The deal I made with my daughter was that she was responsible for all the creative aspects of the process and all the "real" work and I would take care of the administrative and organizational tasks. Little did any of us suspect the degree to which I would take this - other than my wife, perhaps, who commented that nothing I do is ever in moderation ;) .</p>

<p>Ah, Michael! It's good to know that you are very human!</p>

<p>I find myself going back and forth between a weird sense of calm/extreme relief that the auditions are almost over and the occasional (well, maybe more than occasional) panic attack--what if there are NO acceptances. It is so hard to believe that after so much time and effort put into research, preparation and auditioning that this part of the journey is almost over. I did tell my son that this whole process has helped me as a mom get through his senior year of high school without the dwelling on all "the lasts". I am so excited for his future, wherever that may be. Though, another part of this process is listening to all his friends talk about where they will be next year and not being able to tell all that ask where he will be attending school.</p>

<p>Just about 2 years ago this time, when I was in the same shoes as many of you (with a senior D auditioning) I got up early one Saturday morning and found that someone had started a thread called "A Soft Place to Land". The thread inexplicably disappeared into cyberspace by that evening -- I believe CC had some server disaster that day -- but the thoughts shared by many going through the process and those who had come through "the other end" stuck with me more than any which have remained. Those of you who might remember this thread, please help!</p>

<p>What struck a particular chord with me was that these kids, these amazing talented, brave, kids are the ones going through this process. No matter how invested we parents might be, how stressed, how tired, it is NOTHING compared to how these kids feel (even if they don't show it). Be that "soft place" for them, where they can come to relax, allow them their fears and stresses; and let them know that however it works out, it will all be okay. Try not to be so stressed that that they wind up feeling they are disappointing YOU if they don't get the results they/you were hoping for.</p>

<p>ENJOY this time you are getting to spend with them, going on school visits and audition trips; have fun; don't let it all be about the stress of the upcoming audition. These long hours alone are some of the last times you will be getting to spend uninterrupted time with your son/daughter -- great time to talk about life, love, happiness and anything else you can think of! They probably will benefit more from (unrelated to MT) talk time with mom or dad than more rehearsal time of their audition pieces! </p>

<p>Two years out of this process, what I remember most is this: long car rides (usually late at night!) with talking, and laughing and singing (me; off-key of course) our favorite "road trip" songs, swimming in the hotel pools and enjoying the sauna, and of course Cracker Barrel! What has ALMOST faded to a distant memory, is WHY we were on the trips in the first place!</p>

<p>So, try to let this wonderful (& funny) "Stressed Parents" thread be the place you come to release your tension; show your kids the happy face, even if you don't feel it -- be the shoulder to cry on, the rock to lean on, and the soft place to land.</p>

<p>Peace! :)</p>

<p>You guys are all amazing! I do remember some of this from last year when D #1 was applying....the spread sheets, the "I need that financial info NOW" aimed at the husband.....the last minute FedEx to CMU with her design project.....the waiting....and waiting.....and the "check your status" button - well, it so happened that I found out she was accepted to CMU on line before SHE did!!!! And I couldn't tell her because she "wanted to wait for the letter"!!! I knew for a couple of days, it nearly killed me. When her friends were all finding out and she hadn't I finally, casually (I think it was a fine bit of acting) suggested she just <em>look</em> online to see. OK, so it wasn't such good acting because she immediately suspected that I knew something, and looked, and screamed, and jumped up and down!!!! Then nailed me for not telling her - oh, well! Happily nailed me and I was exonerated by reminding her that she hadn't told me I <em>couldn't</em> look, she only told me that she wanted to wait for a letter. Thin excuse but she was pacified. :-) </p>

<p>Good luck all of you. Next year I'll be back in the saddle, waiting. Such a ride. OK, back choice of words...sorry!</p>

<p>Hmmmm....that should be "bad" choice of words...my fingers didn't know what my brain wanted...</p>

<p>This thread reminds me of a crazy thing I did last year during the time when decision letters were arriving. On Thursdays I went into work late so was able to see the mail that ALWAYS arrived at 12:00 noon. I also knew on this particular Thursday that the letters from Pace had been mailed out a few days earlier and that there was a good possibility my D's letter would be in the mail that day.</p>

<p>Well 12:00 noon came and went, then 12:30 and no mail. I had to leave for work but couldn't stop obsessing about the letter from Pace. So I proceeded to drive around my town, which luckily is small, to seek out mail trucks. I ended up talking to three mailmen, some of whom were eating their lunch, to see if they knew what had happened to my mail that day. I knew they must have thought I was a nut. One of them finally told me that my regular mailman was on vacation and that my route had been divided up amongst several mailmen in my town but there was no way of knowing which mailman had my mail. Ugh!</p>

<p>At this point I was an hour late for work and had to force myself to move in that direction and abandon my mailmen stalking for the day! The story had a happy ending though as my D got her acceptance letter that afternoon while I was at work.</p>

<p>Seashells....THANKS!!! My daughter and I laughed so hard reading about your stalking the mailmen. That story was hilarious. I haven't stalked the mailman...yet. We did drive around the neighborhood once looking for delivery trucks when we were expecting a delivery of a new Harry Potter book though.</p>

<p>SeaShells29: Thanks for the stalking the mailman tip! I never thought of that but I'm adding it to my list of to-do's!!</p>

<p>NewbieMT, LOL!!!</p>

<p>This is my first post to this Board. I must admit that I have read all of these posts with amusement, sympathy and empathy.</p>

<p>We just returned yesterday from our audition trip to New York. Quite the emotional roller coaster for all.</p>

<p>I cannot give our kids enough credit for putting themselves out there the way they do. We can only supporting them in whatever way we can.</p>

<p>However, some perspective is needed...Emerson admits about 25 - Auditions about 800..Pace Auditions about 600 will admint about 20 this year..and on and on. No matter how talented and dedicated your child is...its a long shot at best with these odds. </p>

<p>But there are many other opportunities, avenues, schools out there for each of them. How many of you are doing now, what you thought or wanted to do when you were 18. Life will bring these great kids a wealth of opportunities and experiences. </p>

<p>I can only hope that I can continue to be a part of my daughter's life through it all!</p>

<p>Good luck to all of you.</p>

<p>Your posting made me laugh and reminded me of my daughter and I a couple of years ago. We also knew what time the mailman came each day. One day he decided to have his lunch/break right outside of our house. We watched from the picture window for awhile and finally my daughter went out and sat on the front steps and stared at him until he finished. The funniest thing to me now is that I remember that moment so vividly and I remember how my heart went out to her but i honestly don't remember if any news even came in the mail that day. </p>

<p>Enjoy these moments, soon your child will be off at a school (and loving it)and it will be a while before you can look at a mail truck without a pang in your heart.</p>

<p>SeaShells29 - your story made me laugh out loud, and reminded me of my D in December when she was waiting for early decision notification. </p>

<p>As the days crawled by, she actually put on her Facebook that "she was not liking the mailman very much right now". The next day someone at school went to her and said I hear you have a problem with my dad?!?. Her first reaction was something liike "huh?" as she had no idea what he was referring to. It turned out that the mailman's son was a student at her school. She had an interesting time explaining herself...</p>

<p>I'm so glad that my post provided some comic relief as I completely emphathize with all of you going through this right now and fully understand just how stressful the whole process can be. The stress level can drive us to do things we wouldn't ordinarily do!</p>

<p>I would just like to reiterate what so many others have said already. Everything will turn out okay in the end and your son or daughter will end up where they are meant to be, even if it doesn't seem so at first.</p>

<p>My D, for example, had her heart set on a college in Boston at which she had done a summer program. However, she didn't get into that program but did get into Pace. She absolutely loves her theater classes and loves NYC, especially Brooklyn. Who could ask for anything more?</p>