First-Timers: The Stressed Parents Thread

<p>NotMommaRose - My D is heading to Ithaca this weekend for one of our last auditions so I will be looking for your rat in the snow. </p>

<p>MTDad777- If you are still out there. My husband is making me post that he agrees with many of your comments. I do agree that I feel I am wasting alot of money in travel time and fees only to find that these schools are taking 5-10 girls. If I had known that I would have had her focus on the schools that take a larger amount of students. That should be a requirement that the schools identify the incoming freshman class size before you shell out all these application fees with a 1.67% chance of getting in.</p>

<p>karenteic, I hope you and your D don't find my furry friend! Syracuse gets a lot of snow (more than Ithaca, I think) but I think it might be colder in Ithaca. However, it is a BEAUTIFUL little town and a lovely campus, so if you remember your heavy coat, boots and hat, you will have a ball.
And regarding these schools taking such a small number of kids into each freshmen class: just remember, <em>someone</em> has to get in. Why not your kid?</p>

<p>In all fairness to the schools, the information about how many students are accepted at each program, and the usual breakdown between girls and boys, is pretty easily obtainable. I have never heard of any school that isn't willing and able to provide this information with a simple phone call. I know a student who is in the field of auditionees this year and prior to determining her list, that was one bit of information she obtained about each school she was interested in. Every school was happy to give her that info, including the breakdown on their current students.</p>

<p>Also, the level of selectivity is not based on the number of kids they take in. The PERCENT that they admit is more telling. A program can take 60 kids and have an acceptance rate of 5%. Another program can take 10 kids and also have an acceptance rate of 5%. </p>

<p>Further, certain schools draw from a deeper and more national talent pool and some schools draw from more of a regional pool or are not attracting the same kids applying to some of the more well known schools (or those kids are accepting offers from more "elite" schools) and thus the degree of artistic selectivity may vary in that regard as well. </p>

<p>Focusing on schools that accept "more students" is not the answer. Most BFA programs, no matter the NUMBER they accept, have an admit rate between 2-10%. It is important to apply to a range of schools in terms of artistic selectivity and academic selectivity, and to have some non-audition schools as well.</p>

<p>Also, I do not think this information is difficult to obtain. The numbers they audition and the numbers they accept are readily available directly from the schools and are discussed frequently here as well. In researching schools to apply to, it is important to gather up such information including acceptance rate, and academic range of admited students, and so forth.</p>

<p>I speak with parents and students to provide feedback frequently :-)</p>

<p>Just to echo what a few others have said: before my D made up her college audition list, she and I carefully researched the various programs, including how many students they actually take into their freshmen classes, as well as at least ballpark figures as to how many these schools routinely audition. So none of this was a surprise to her.</p>

<p>I know this isn't the proper thread, but I wanted to say something about being cold. Where I live it's cold too, maybe not as cold as upstate NY, but cold none the less. My house is a cold house, lots of ceramic tile on the floors and I am cheap when it comes to the heating bills. What I have found out is lots of layers that are NOT all cotton, and the most important thing I found out it to wear moisture wicking socks, made a huge difference in my comfort level.</p>

<p>Lurking again and feeling so heartbroken for the kids who are getting these rejections. I can barely handle auditions for vocal performance, and while there are schools with a 1% acceptance rate, there are plenty of other great programs. I think if I had a kid auditioning for MT, I would beg, borrow or steal the money to hire a coach or two. I would pay someone or a team to at least help with choosing songs and dialogues and get an honest - hopefully - opinion of how my kid compares to others using the services. I am not in cahoots with Soozievt, but she or someone like her would be on my payroll somehow. I am thinking that the MT departments need to start doing what the most selective music schools do - they need to get pre-screening CDs from everyone. They could rule out tons of kids that way and the kids wouldn't have to make themselves crazy auditioning at 20 schools and trying to put together safeties in March. </p>

<p>to NMR - My D gave up her horse two weeks ago. The expense has to go to tuition now. At one point, we had 3 and now we're down to zero and it makes me sad. I have spent many, many freezing hours in barns and on horses and cohorting with rats and mice.</p>

<p>srw, you identified the real culprit - moisture. It's the bane to keeping warm in a cold climate, particularly when the moisture is against your skin. And cotton is the worst since it doesn't wick moisture away from your skin. I used to do a lot of winter backpacking (if it wasn't below 20 degrees, it didn't count). You could have all the fancy winter gear you wanted but the cardinal rule to keeping warm at night when you went to sleep was to take off all the clothing you wore during the day and change into the next days underwear. Otherwise your own sweat kept you cold all night! :) I feel much warmer now, having shared that.</p>

<p>Re cartera45's post # 148</p>

<p>Whether or not coaching is essential does depend on what training opportunities students have had up to this point, but it certainly has to be seen as a plus. Possibly, if not a coach - then a mentor? Depending on a kid's theatrical background and financial situation, it is very possible that someone in a local professional theatre would be willing to lend some assistance for free, or a very reasonable price. </p>

<p>And, I am also surprised that more MT schools haven't gone to a pre-screening process (CD or video) that many music programs have gone to. This would solve several problems from the viewpoint of those auditioning. While it might be discouraging, wouldn't it be better to know that you are out of consideration before you've spent $$$ on travel, accommodations, etc? And you would know early enough to make other applications if you weren't being considered at some of your original list of schools. From the schools' viewpoint, they could spend more time with students who are viable candidates for their programs, which would also make the auditioners (and parents) feel that they had a fairer shot than a 5-10 minute audition slot.</p>

<p>I also applaud UMich's policy of vetting the academic portion of the application before extending the invitation to audition, and think more schools should consider doing likewise, depending on how the academic portion fits into the admittance. I know of 2 students last year who were admitted to programs pending academic admittance who were then declined. It was a painful situation for both of them. And, from the schools' perspective, the last thing they would want to have happen is to be excited over someone's audition, and not be able to offer them a place. Once again - for families flying to auditions cross country, no need to do so if the academics can't match up.</p>

<p>I can't believe you people are talking about weather, it's winter last time I checked :) </p>

<p>karenteic - I understand what you are saying regarding the limited number of spots but I do agree that the information is out there if you call and ask. Here's the problem, it never occured to me that my daughter was not going to be in their top 20! Surely since she's the star of her high school she could make anybody's top 20? WRONG! The first time you stand outside the audition room and hear several kids belt out a song it hits you like a freight train (she might not make it, now what). My biggest suprise is how truly talented all your children are. I really though after sitting through many recitals at the school that the auditions would be simliar to that but it was like every singer I heard was almost as good, as good as or better than the top 3 at our high school (2200 students). And we have about 6-12 kids that made the all state choir. Furthermore, from what I've read on this board (and it makes sense) there certainly is some type casting going on which lowers the odds even more. Based on all I've read here and experienced the odds of not making it are between 85-98 percent. That is what I call the freight train syndrome or the wake up and smell the coffee syndrome. Regarding the shear numbers it's important to know two things before auditioning, how many offers are they sending out and how many kids are auditioning for those offers? As mentioned in several other posts, you need to auditon accross a wide variety of schools and maybe even apply to a non audition school. The good news is I think the hit rate on this board is at least 40 percent.</p>

<p>I only have 70 gallons left in my oil tank and I hear a snow storm is coming. </p>

<p>Yes...I see now that everyone has done much more research than my daughter and I. Chalk one up to my inexperience and what seems to be a lack of guidance from our high school teachers. We should have gotten a coach. I went to a large State school and can't imagine a 15 person freshman class. Some of my classes had 100s just in one class. We also have an All Stater; but as you say there are quite a few All Staters out there so I guess that is not popping out on the resume as I thought it might. </p>

<p>My daughter's music teacher just told me he is getting his doctorate degree at Hartt; so maybe he can put in a good word for her. We have no connections. Why couldn't we be cousins with Tommy Tune.</p>

<p>As I read this I am so glad my son is done with all of this part. I think with the increase in kids audtioning for MT in recent years that a pre screening CD or DVD is a great idea. Also it would help alot if the GC at the high schools had some idea of what is involved, most haven't a clue. When my S graduated I typed up all of the basics I had learned from the proccess and the stuff I had learned from CC and CC's web site and gave it to the GC, theater director and choir director at our HS. I have no idea if they are using it, but I hope they are. I encourage you to do the same, it might save other kids and their families alot of trouble and money.</p>

<p>srw..That was a very generous thoughtful thing for you to do post audition. I'm sure they are using your materials and are appreciative of your efforts! My son graduated from a large public high school and the GC had no information to help; Thankfully we found CC his soph year. :)</p>

<p>srw, that was a very generous thing for you to do. It is difficult to find the resources needed to help you understand and navigate the process of selecting and applying to performing arts programs. As you point out, most GC's really don't have a lot of experience in this area. Even third party college consultants are often of limited utility. We used one who came up with a list of schools reputed to have good theater programs that she felt would be appropriate for our daughter but she really used the same criteria as more mainstream academic programs to try to line up schools. She had little insight about the differences between a BA and BFA program, theater, acting and MT programs or the details of specific programs at particular schools on her list. The consultant certainly did not have the backround to guide and assist with the audition process and couldn't understand why I was so strongly advocated that my daughter finish all of her applications by September 15 so she could focus on nothing but audition prep.</p>

<p>We found it necessary to find our own resources and come up with our own game plan to make sense out of this whole process. Fortunately, we started early, when my daughter was in 10th grade. A precollege program, this Board, a trusted voice teacher, pouring over school websites for countless hours, preliminary visits to schools in 11th grade, all were tools we used to educate ourselves. As others have expressed, it can seem like an overwhelming process. One poster has characterized this years audition process as a "freight train" rolling over him. At times, that really feels like an apt characterization</p>

<p>And that's where I really have a desire to comment. I very much understand and empathize with what so many posters are feeling at this time. But folks, now's when you need to take a step back and just take a deep breath. The reality is that if you did a good job of putting together a mix of schools, including some non-audition BA programs that are a good academic match, your student will have an acceptance to at least one school where your student will have a gratifying and rewarding college life. If by some chance things don't work out the way you hope, keep in mind that you are talking about 17 year olds who have their whole lives ahead of them. Some of the most important lessons we can teach our kids are how to handle failing to achieve their goals the first time around, how to respond with resilience, flexibility, creativity and determination. It's important not only now, during the period of audition season "March Madness", but for the rest of their lives. Keep in mind that even if your kid gets into their dream BFA program, there are no guarantees of anything. You could be the kid who got all the H.S leading roles but can't get past call backs for the first couple of years in college. You could be the graduate who struggles to find work for many years and really needs to have a game plan to support himself in other ways.</p>

<p>The best thing we can do for our kids is push aside our own insecurities and anxieties about the direction they have chosen and be the resource they need to have the confidence to pick themselves up from major and minor disappointments and figure out how to move forward. It's tough to do at times. Hell, my kid's in a BFA program and I still have to remind myself to take a step back and keep perspective. It's a life lesson for me as a parent that I'm still trying to master.</p>

<p>So well said.</p>

<p>My daughter audtioned at only one school and is currently on the waiting list. I have less and less hope that a spot will actually open up. We called the university. They won't reveal her ranking on the waiting list and they assure us that "everyone has already accepted their spots and we dont' anticipate having to go to our waiting list". Anyway, I am a high school choir director. When I got my music degree 22 years ago, a degree in musical theatre did not exist, at least not in my state of michigan. It it had, I probabaly would have pursued that degree instead of my music education degree and I would not be where I am today. My daughter has been the lead in many musicals in our area, she is an experienced dancer, and she has excellent grades. So, when she decided that she wanted to pursue this degree, my husband and I said "go for it". When we arrived at her audition (her only audtion) we were blown away by the number of kids there and the small amount that they would take. This has definitely been a wake-up call, and I can now better prepare my own students for the audition road ahead if they decide to pursue MT. Yikes.</p>

<p>Thanks so much for that thoughtful and sincere post...such good information. I think it is so easy to get wrapped up in our child's success at their local school that parents forget there are kids having that same success at every school around the country and that is thousands. Does that mean your child isn't talented? No, but it means the reality is there are hundreds and hundreds of talented kids pursuing the same dream.
My son is not auditioning in musical theatre just acting (but this is such a good and active thread I like to "lurk":)...so we are going through this like everyone else. The freight train comparison was SO TRUE. He handles it with no problems, I'm the one who is the "nut case":) and I think it is because you just want to see your child be happy...and in this process that doesn't happen so easy. One of my younger children has worked professionally for some time now and so we came into this deal with knowledge of the business, but NO KNOWLEDGE of the college process. We have found that the college process is an excellent preperation for those who will be out auditioning in LA and NY some day. It is a casting (I've seen that on other threads and it is true) and no matter how talented you are, you will not always fit into the "cast list" needed at some of the schools. The harsh reality is that, the acting world, the majority of people are "rejected" on every audition and that talent plays only a part of the casting process. Luck, who you know, who you look like, etc, etc. can play just as much a part in the casting process. I like what MichaelNKat said about them being 17 and 18 year olds with the rest of their lives ahead of them. How they make it through this experience is a good measure of how they will enjoy the "real world of acting" (even at the college level) when they don't get callbacks or the parts they want more times than they do. That is a tough lesson for someone who is used to being the lead of every production:).
Anyway...just my two cents...for what it is worth. As I said, I'd NEVER make it as an actor because the waiting is torture:). Best of luck to all of your children...I hope they all end up at the right school for them that will nurture them and train them for what is to come. And to all the mailmen out there...sorry for stalking you...it will all be done soon:)!!</p>

<p>srw - My wife and I talked about the very same thing (writing a guide and giving it to the school) once we realized how difficult this process was and that there wasn't much help with the exception of this board. In our school this information is best used in the Theatre department and the Music department. The reason the GC know little to nothing is because there aren't that many kids going into MT after high school. It's probably not worth their time and effort to truly understand this. Out of the 577 graduating this year at our HS I'm only aware of 4 going into MT.</p>

<p>MTDad, that's better than my school! Not only am I the only MT prospect this year, I'm literally the only one in the history of my school system to go to college for a performing arts degree.</p>