First-Timers: The Stressed Parents Thread

College Majors Musical Theater Major
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<p>After reading several pages of this thread from the past few days, I have the following observations:</p>

<p>MOST IMPORTANTLY - when you believe you've heard from most of the schools, find the one your child likes the best and immediately get a deposit in. Do not wait until close to May 1 hoping you'll hear from a wait listed school. It's not going to happen by May 1. If you wait until then to put down a deposit at your most favorite of the acceptance schools, you will very likely get the worst housing option available at that school. The deposit is usually very important in getting a good housing selection. Most schools will say this is refundable up until May 1. </p>

<p>Most HS GC's don't know much about the process. Meet with them frequently and hold their hand through the process, especially including charting out all of your deadlines for getting materials in (which will be different from the regular student applying, in many cases).</p>

<p>Every HS that offers choir and theatre will have their stars, every city in the US has stars, and just think how many wonderfully talented young people that means that your star is competing against for the 20 spots at a particular MT program - it's really overwhelming when you consider this.</p>

<p>The audition process never stops for these kids. I guess you really do have to get used to it or not do MT at all. Not only is it their life after graduation, but it is their life all during college. They will audition constantly for shows at their school, and auditioning for summerstock is a whole other process to go through every spring, much like the process for college admissions.</p>

<p>Lastly, I don't think our city has acting coaches. We have never heard of one. My son read many plays the summer between junior and senior years to pick monologues and prepared them on his own. He had a wide variety of schools where he was accepted into MT. He could not have done it, though, without his wonderful voice teacher helping with song preparation and selection.</p>

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<p>Thanks, Ericsmom! We don't have acting coaches in our city either... I guess I thought that was what a theatre teacher did?</p>

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<p>My D went to a well-established local actor associated with a small Equity theatre in our area for 3-4 1/2 hour sessions. I doubt if any except the largest of metropolitan areas would have people whose sole profession is "acting coach". And, if you are fortunate, you may have a theatre teacher at your school who would be able to do this for your child. At our school, there was no theatre teacher per se - there was an English teacher who directed the plays. I saw some of their plays - he would have been less than helpful. </p>

<p>Can kids make it without voice lessons, acting coaches, dance lessons? If there is some magical spark there, possibly, but the odds are incredibly stacked against them.</p>

<p>I would hope that the auditors look at the location the kid is coming from, and realize that some places there have been a much more wide range of training opportunities than others.</p>

<p>Another sports analogy - every so often, you hear about a kid who didn't play in high school walking onto a college team in football or basketball. BUT you hear about it, because it's news, because it's rare. And, it's even more rare if it would be a top tier team. I would look at admission to MT as every bit as competitive as college sports.</p>

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<p>As a stressed out parent waiting for audition results I have also been giving this some thought. Fortunately my son has some acceptances already but in retrospect I learned a lot. I appointed myself his organizer. I did a lot of legwork gathering information and making charts. You have to spend a lot of time talking with your kids to find out what they really want as far as school, and after, in order to find the potential good fits. You have to get everything done early and keep good records. From a performance perspective, you will have to be the captain in the process since most high school staffs don't really understand all that is involved. If you are like me you will need the help of the teachers and other pros for the talent. My son didn't think about applying for MT in college until the summer before his senior year after a month long pre college program at UArts. He has had no private voice or acting lessons, and no dance of any kind. This already make it impossible to get into a program that stressed dance in the audition. He got some valuable assistance from his school choir director for some private voice lessons to help prepare for auditions in the few months leading up to the Chicago unifieds. He picked all his own material. I consistently stressed how to be prepared for a 5 minute great impression including how to dress and doing mock interviews to hone his skills answering questions that maybe he didn't think about (this is really no different than any job interview, except for the skill set) In retrospect, we should have begun to prepare in sophmore year in order to take the time element out of it, should have done some lessons in voice and dance, maybe visited a few programs to get input from people there, both students and staff, to find out what they are looking for in a student. I think any dedicated student with talent can find a place that they will love. You can do it without a professional coach but that would certainly help. Overall, I never would have been able to do this without the information I have gotten from this forum. I would like to thank everyone who posted good information and helped lower my stress with their thoughts and feelings about the process.</p>

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<p>In my school district, the junior high (7-9th grades) puts on a fully staged musical each year and the senior high puts on a fully staged drama and musical each year. Dozens and dozens of students are involved from crew, set design, orchestra and cast. Yet from my daughter's graduating class of over 660 students, only 2 applied to any type of theatre program let alone MT (my daughter and one other). While my daughter's GC was a gem in making sure everything from the school was completed based on the accelerated time table we had, the unfortunate reality was that the guidance department really did not have any resources to assist a student interested in performing arts (perhaps because the administration was hyper-focused on getting National Blue Ribbon recognition and producing National Merit finalists). We were really left to our own resources to muddle our way through this process.</p>

<p>As I look back now, it was a real evolutionary path for us. Junior High, my daughter took dance classes in ballet, jazz and hip-hop simply because she loved to dance. She was in the school musicals because she just loved to perform. She sang in our synagogue choir. MT for college wasn't even on the radar screen. In 9th grade, she started voice lessons simply because she was singing a lot and we didn't want her to damage her vocal apparatus.</p>

<p>High school and particularly in 10th grade is when things changed. My daughter changed voice teachers because she was "bored" with doing nothing but vocal technique with her prior teacher. So we found a voice teacher in our area who herself actively performed and who ran a small youth based community theatre company. My daughter continued in the high school shows and with her dance classes and dance team competitions. Middle of 10th grade, she announced that she wanted to seriously pursue MT. That changed our entire focus.</p>

<p>Our daughter, after talking with us, decided that she wanted to do a summer MT intensive. The summer before her junior year she attended UArts 4 week program as a commuter. In addition to providing top shelf training, it gave her an opportunity to work side by side with talented kids from all over the country. It was a litmus test in many ways of whether this was really something she wanted to do. She finished the program more convinced than ever that she wanted to pursue MT. That of course changed the entire complexion of the college search process we started in her junior year. At the end of her junior year, our daughter attended Syracuse's 6 week summer program. It addition to the training she received there, because it was a 6 week program living away from home where she could not "escape" from the MT environment, we also viewed it as a litmus test of whether our daughter would thrive in the intensity of a BFA program.</p>

<p>For our daughter, the 2 summer programs were pivotal moments. Over and above the training (which was instrumental in preparing her for the rigors of auditioning), they provided her with critical opportunities to evaluate very closely whether this was the right path for her. Visiting the programs, speaking at length with the faculty, seeing all of the other superbly talented kids, also provided us with a lot of insight into the world in which our daughter intended to embark. While we had not anticipated any of this and the cost put a dent in our college savings, we felt it was an investment worth making when considering the commitment of time and financial responsibilities involved in choosing a college program.</p>

<p>When it came time for our daughter to focus on audition preparation in September of her senior year, she continued with her dance classes, working with her voice teacher and worked with an acting coach for her monologues. Like others have commented, we were unaware of any persons who are "acting coaches" as a profession but we were connected with a local established actor who was willing to coach our daughter.</p>

<p>When I look back on all of this, the amount of time, preparation and advanced planning necessary for my daughter to get from the 7th grader who did it for fun, to the 10th grader who had an epiphany, to the senior attending auditions is boggling. When I compare it to the high school and college process for my older son, who is a criminal justice major, forget about whether it is even on the same planet, it really is 2 different universes. While the path we and our daughter took is not the only one and might not make sense for others, the common denominator in however this process is approached is a commitment of time and forethought well in advance.</p>

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<p>I agree with impalanut that you must start by the sophomore year; however, that agreed upon, I must further add that we started viewing colleges in my D's sophomore year and yet when we started this process (my D's a senior this year), we still seemed significantly unprepared. I think MT is just a crazy, stressful, beautiful journey that one must live to understand (or at least somewhat understand). With all of that said, I too must thank this forum for its unimaginiable support, guidance, and strees-management skills. I don't know what I would have done without this information. I am a high school technical theatre teacher and so I felt rather knowlegable; well, I was dead WRONG! However, this journey has helped me to offer more guidance to my technical students. Thanks again to all.</p>

<p>BTW, my D applied to 14 schools and although has been accepted academically to several, she has received no acceptances or rejections for MT. The stress of waiting is unparalled... but we remain strong and keep breathing.</p>

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<p>While it is a terrific thing to start working on this in early HS. Some of us were just wandering around clueless! I had no idea of what was involved, the complexity and the competition. My S had been taking voice lessons since mid freshman year. Then took some dance the next summer to get up to speed for the school musicals the next year. About half way through his sophmore year he took an acting course, thats it. At the start of his senior year we begain to look at some schools online, I became concerned, it never occured to me that we would have to go to the schools to audition, and the cost! We had a heart to heart about the cost and I had to tell him that the east coast schools were probably out, just too expensive, he didn't talk to me for several days, then he got realistic, good boy! Once we had his list of schools he made his applications and I made the audition appointments and schedules. THEN I found this site, OMG! It was way more involved than I had ever dreamed. Everyday I had new info for him, he said Mom your scaring me! With our general clulessnes and lack of preparation it was a Godsend that we found CC. Now he is happliy in a great program and definitely where he belongs. What I am trying to say, is that things tend to work out the way they should, even for those of us who are/were clueless.</p>

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<p>As a first timer going through this process, I think the best thing that came out of discovering this thread was that we were a bit more realistic about what applying for a BFA entailed. I come from a different country where, if you have the "right grades and/or background" you will be able to attend pretty much any school you apply to, fully financed by the government I might add.</p>

<p>I think it is important to not forget that there are some incredibly talented kids out there, and even if our kids do well in our local theatre communities. or get the lead in their high school shows, there is really no way of knowing what they are up against, unless you read this forum and/or have your kid participate in some summer programs.</p>

<p>We went into this process very, very conservatively, selecting highly competitive and less competitive programs, and figured if D would get into one school, she'd be counting her blessings. </p>

<p>Just talking about that this morning over coffee D said, that even though we might have approached things overly negative, she would not have done things any differently.</p>

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<p>OK - I just dropped my daughter at the airport to go to the U. of Minn. for the callback weekend. Her initial flight was cancelled yesterday due to weather and we are now in the midst of a "blizzard" (by Ohio standards) so hopefully her plane will take off - she is sitting on the plane now. Oh, I was also stopped by a policeman at the airport because I ran a stop sign (in my haste to get her there on time!) Stessed, yes just a bit - I know we will look back on all of this in time (probably in a long time!) and laugh - at least I hope we will! Thanks for being a sounding board for me!</p>

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<p>Hey, at least you are creating some "memories":).</p>

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<p>Yay - she is in flight!!! :) Now I can breathe!</p>

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<p>Glad she's on her way!</p>

<p>My son checked the weather before leaving for the airport this morning and he just about fell over. With wind chill it was -12. If nothing else our kids (from milder climates) will get a taste of what winter REALLY is this weekend ;)</p>

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<p>UA Mom - Thanks for the follow up. Even I started sweating your daughter's trip. </p>

<p>Ok...inserting a little humor here because I figure we can all use it. On Monday I had a "friend" (not sure friends really do this stuff to you) send me one of those irritating forwarded emails. The ones that at the end tell you send to friends and you'll have good luck. I usually just delete them - because I like to keep my friends. This one first said "think of a number and a day of the week". Then at the end it said send to that number of friends. Well luckily I picked number 3....so I only had to make 3 friends mad. My wish was suppose to be granted on that day of the week - which was Friday. Ok, it's Friday...we'll see what happens. If my daughter doesn't get an acceptance today, y'all will know you can ignore these stupid emails. :) If she does get accepted, you might want to go back through your deleted emails and start sending. :)</p>

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<p>MomOfAPrincess - if you do get an acceptance please forward that e-mail on to me!!!!! We'll take all the good luck we can get! :)</p>

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<p>OK, why am I home on CC and Facebook and eating a whole box of mac and cheese, while my MT person is at the theatre and dinnner and not even thinking about envelopes? OH to be calm and have the " Whatever happens, happens" attitude.</p>

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<p>Happymom08: This is my life too. Why are our kids normal and we're not?? I find ice cream useful at times like these.</p>

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<p>Or try chocolate martinis. 50% Stoli Vanilla (straight from the freezer), 30% Godiva Dark and 20% Godiva White. It's like chocolate milk with a kick. After 2, you are incapable of stress!</p>

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<p>This may be the best advice that has been posted on CC! Sounds like the Dulce de Leche scene in Guys & Dolls! Thanks!</p>

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<p>Just wondering if anyone has heard if Wright State has sent decision letters from the February 15th auditions? My son auditioned and we were told we would receive a decision within two weeks. It has been three weeks and we haven't received any news yet. Any info would be helpful. Thanks!</p>

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<p>zrensmom, I do not have the answer to your question, sorry. However, if a program told you that you would receive a decision within two weeks and it has been three, it is reasonable to call up (you don't even have to give your name) and describe what you posted here and ask the status of the process.</p>