And families come in all shapes and sizes, which is fine to acknowledge. You do not know why Joey has 2 dads-I assume the couple is gay, but do not really know, and neither do you. Some kids are raised by grandparents/ aunts/others who take on a parental role, some are in foster care, some have a variety of step-relationships-the list is endless. So how about just acknowledging that? If Joey wants to volunteer more, great. If he doesn’t, that’s great too.
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Tell me exactly what about my answer is an opinion vs a fact.
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Actually we probably agree on this more than you think. Acknowledging families come in many forms would seem to be the solution, along with a suggestion to go ask the kid’s parents for further discussion. Just like a response for why aren’t Susie’s parents married or why is Amy living with her mom’s boyfriend? Families come in many forms.
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In elementary school, if my kids had been told to “go home and ask your parents”, it would have raised a red flag that something was wrong or taboo, or maybe even that they shouldn’t have asked the question. It would even have made my then-shy kids reluctant to approach the teacher with questions in the future. That totally defeats the whole teaching and learning relationship.
But I guess that is the point. Florida is trying to make LGBT and gender identity taboo subjects. Sad.
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And where did anyone answer this as “because Johnny’s dads are gay”? It seems your imagination is running away with you. You suppose a lot of answers and scenarios that just aren’t happening. Is the reason to make your point valid and win an argument or because you know for a fact these things are happening?
Now, if a child said “But 2 men can’t get married” I’d likely say (depending on age and circumstances). “Yes they can. It’s legal in all 50 states”. It is factually correct information, not an opinion and kids should know the facts rather than continue to assume information that isn’t correct. If their parents want to have a religious discussion with them at home about what their religion does or doesn’t condone that’s up to them. The general answer when religion comes up at school is “Different people/religions believe different things and that’s okay”. We talk about personal choices in belief at times when the direction goes that way in terms of "it’s okay to believe different things, that’s just the way it is, rather than any specific beliefs. Sometimes we actually might talk about what a certain religion believes if it’s in relation to why certain holidays are celebrated. Isn’t it better for kids to know how to distinguish fact from opinion from religious belief/faith? Isn’t it important for kids to know that people don’t all think the same thing? If you think you can keep all of this from happening, I’d hate to see the school that you picture. The thing I am most proud of in our school is that “all means all”. We have such a supportive community. Kids can thrive no matter who they are. We house a number of programs for kids with academic and social challenges but all of the kids can be successful when it comes to being a good friend.
I think that’s the right surface to scratch. The fear that some parents seem to have is the sexuality of the relationship. Few elementary school kids are thinking about sexuality. Parents are the 2 adults who run your family. They feed you, they clothe you, they take you to Disneyland. They love you.
I mean, how many parents are worried about their elementary school kids thinking or learning about the sexuality aspects of heterosexual parents? It’s funny how no one is legislating to ban that.
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Uh, you were telling me I was wrong… hence my confusion.
In school we don’t try to convert kids into becoming something or leaving something (religion, sex, etc). We teach facts and theories. We teach them how to think (not what to think - except for facts of course!), research, and get along with each other - plus take care of the world.
Religious schools can teach religion - the exacts. We teach how religion has affected history. Some basics come up because they’re needed to understand the mindset, but we aren’t teaching kids to kneel (or spit) at the cross (or any other sacred item).
We teach about what is going on in the world, but not converting any into being gay or straight (or whatever).
We’re accepting of them as they present themselves to us (them and their families) as much as we can. My school drew the line with the family who wanted their son to only have male teachers and not have to interact with females in authority because that’s not the way things are done in our country. He needed to be homeschooled or put into a religious school (albeit hard to find a Muslim one in our area).
What appears to be happening in FL is they want the opposite. They want only one way of life presented and accepted. That’s wrong in a public school.
Teachers here are also still allowed to be themselves with items they have on their desk or sharing their views on occasion. I disagree with some of what a few share (you would too), but it’s allowed and it’s allowed on both sides. It does help kids see there are all sorts of people in the world and still learn to get along with them, so there’s that.
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Yes. As a parent I do not want any person talking to my minor child about sexuality, religion, or family constructs. As a teacher you may have great insights, insights I might agree with, but unfortunately there are LOTS of people that do not have the same wisdom.
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I don’t know where you live, but in my state, sex education is required by law in both middle school and high school. Is this not the case in your state?
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Since even the Florida law has an exception for health class, I assume the objection is to lessons outside that purview. Many adult advisors to children probably have great insights into issues of sexuality but given cuurent circumstances, they would be well-advised to refrain from those discussions. Clergy, coaches, scout leaders-the vast majority are well-intentioned, just like teachers. Unfortunately, the few bad apples have changed perception of such conversations.
My kids had great teachers, K-12. Some were straight, some gay, some asexual. No one ever discussed it or had discussions with faculty about sexuality outside of health class.
Then how do you know that some of them were straight, gay or asexual?
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From the parents. Some parents socialized with them. Some parents were invited to weddings, both straight and gay. I certainly never asked, nor did my kids, and the teachers didn’t volunteer the info. It was not our business.
So basically, everyone knew, it just wasn’t okay to say it. It had to be hidden.
Under the current bill, teachers must go by the pronoun they are assigned at birth. I have a coworker with a transgender child teaching in a neighboring district. This teacher made sure their legal work was in order to have both her diploma and teaching certificate issued under her “new” name before entering the workforce. She has always been Ms. >>> while teaching. I don’t think the casual observer would know she is trans. Yet, in Florida, students would have to call her Mr. rather than Ms. By law, she would have to tell them to call her Mr. >>>.
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“Sex education is not currently mandated in Florida. Schools that do teach sex education must emphasize abstinence as the expected social standard. Since Florida schools are not required to provide sex education to students, school districts are left to decide what type of sex education–if any at all–they provide to youth. Mandating local control over sex education presents unique challenges that have resulted in a glaring disparity regarding the quality of sex education that students receive. Such discretion allows for the implementation of policies and curriculum that stigmatize marginalized youth, such as students of color and LGBTQ youth, and presents further challenges in ensuring that low income districts have access to the resources needed to implement comprehensive sex education. While some districts, such as [Putnam County]”(http://www.fldoe.org/core/fileparse.php/7578/urlt/PutnamHealthEducationPolicy.pdf), mandate comprehensive sex education, others, such as St. John’s County, mandate abstinence only instruction. Regardless of how advanced a particular district’s curriculum may be, state statute mandates that HIV/AIDS instruction emphasize the benefits of heterosexual marriage. This requirement is particularly harmful to vulnerable LGBTQ youth.
State Sex Education Policies and Requirements at a Glance
- Florida schools are not required to teach sex education. However, they are required to teach comprehensive health education that includes instruction on teenage pregnancy.
- Curriculum is not required to be comprehensive.
- Curriculum must include the benefits of abstinence as the expected social standard.
- If a school chooses to teach further instruction on HIV/AIDS, instruction must emphasize the benefits of heterosexual marriage.
- Curriculum is not required to include instruction on consent.
- Parents or Guardians may submit a written request to remove their children from instruction on reproductive health or any disease. This is referred to as an “opt-out” policy.(link is external)
- Florida has no standard regarding medically accurate sex education instruction.
Not hidden. Not shared. I didn’t know whether they were married, if so to whom, or living together, or whatever. For the kids, Women were Ms. And men were Mr. This is pretty much common in most workplaces, where employers don’t ask about marital status, or sexuality.
Your friend could have students use first names for all. Several prominent schools like Sidwell Friends do that.
Fwiw, no, we didnt all “know”. I was surprised by a coach’s recent wedding pics in the paper. My kids had her for 12 years. Never knew she was gay. Never thought about it. Why would I? I hope she isn’t spending time thinking about my love life.
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There is no possible way some faculty member never referred to her husband.
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It’s actually not “common in most workplaces”. People talk about their spouse or families to co-workers. I’d be pretty bummed to work in a place where all discussions between co-workers were screened for any personal information. Outside of Florida, people can use preferred pronouns.
Do you really think a teacher in your kids’ school never said, “we went to my husband’s parents’ house for the holidays”, “I love Cancun. I went with my boyfriend” or “I can’t stay late today because my car is broken and my husband is picking me up”? This would be common chit chat between either co-workers or come up in a converstation with students.
I think part of the problem is that you keep equating “workplaces” with schools. While a school is my workplace, the functions of schools are different from the function of an office or retail establishment.
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I am certain, over the course of 12 years, someone did. But it wasnt frequent or the topic of much discussion. Just as many of my coworkers do not know if I am married, divorced, widowed, gay, etc.
Yes, the functions are different, but teachers are still employees.
You live in a different world then.
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Nor is it “frequent” or a planned topic in school. It’s human interaction. Kind of falls under Social Emotional Learning.
Teachers are employees that do a job that is much different than those in offices. How many office workers work with children in a human development capacity?
I also love the fact that my co-workers celebrate each other’s accomplishments, support them through the tough times and are like a family. We celebrate weddings, babies, graduations and reaching goals such as a marathon or a dream vacation. We also become family to those that are fighting cancer or have lost a family member and may not have any other family. The workplace you describe sounds like one much more likely to face workplace violence or a mass exodus of unhappy workers. I personally want my kids to learn from people that know how to enjoy life and form relationships with other adults. It’s a good model to have.
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