My son is gay. When he was looking at colleges, he was very concerned about safety, community, gay rights etc. He was in an enrichment program in HS that involved a lot of college related activities. The teacher was a man who my son respected and met with frequently to discuss his plans for the future. His being gay was definitely a part of these discussions - how could it not be?
As long as it works for you, that’s great. The teacher is the one at risk in that case, not your son. I assume the teacher knew what he was doing and accepted that risk.
That’s the point. There shouldn’t be “risk” from the state for doing the right thing. Something requested by the student.
Unfortunately, bad actors make the same claim about what the student requested, and things are usually but not always innocent. The risk of misinterpretation or allegations is present in any state.
Our local school district has had both valid and spurious claims made against it in this regard. Messy, expensive, intrusive investigations result. Seems everyone loses.
Student: I want to look at schools that are LGBTQ friendly
Teacher: Okay, let’s take a look
Nope, not that easy to misinterpret.
Student: I want to look at schools that are LGBTQ friendly
Teacher: That’s an abomination and I won’t help you.
Also, not easy to misinterpret
Student: I want to look at schools that are LGBTQ friendly
Teacher: Crickets
Open to interpretation
Student: I want to go to a college for (any number of other reasons)
Teacher: I’m only going to help you apply to LGBTQ colleges
Never happened.
Schools will always have these suits and claims. Creating a non-inclusive work/school setting isn’t the answer. THey are going to happen anyway. In fact, they will probably happen more. It seems a lot more people in Florida are lining up with pitchforks to “catch” teachers because the new law will allow them to do so. And by “catch” I mean do things like call a student by a preferred pronoun.
It isn’t a personal opinion. Some kids have parents of the same gender. Gay marriage is legal. So the existence of those parents isn’t a matter of opinion.
Why should it be a risk? I teach seniors. If one asked me if I knew anything about colleges for any number of reasons: academic, religious, Greek life, etc., there should be no risk in giving factual information.
To say there is a risk for talking about schools that are more accepting of gay students implies there is something wrong with being gay.
This is what this legislation is really about. There is no instruction on being gay or trans. What there is is acceptance, and this legislation is about marginalizing kids and families.
Personally, if I were placing bets, I would say the kids never discussed it with you, not that they didn’t hear about any of it at school. I bet they knew if their teachers were married, and if so, to who. I bet they knew if they had kids, pets, what outside of school activities they liked, and a gazillion other life things. They just didn’t share this info with you if you don’t think they ever heard about it at school.
Many kids don’t share if they don’t think their parents would approve. You have odd ideas about what happens in schools because my experience over 20+ years matches those of other teachers posting on this thread.
There can be outliers, of course, so maybe it’s that, but if so, I’m glad my kids didn’t go to your kids’ school. I like that they got to know their teachers and vice versa.
So some of your coworkers knew then.
There is zero chance that some male teacher did not FREQUENTLY say “I’ll be gone for a couple of days while my wife recovers from surgery,” or “my wife is an engineer. I’ll ask her to explain to me how that works”, or “I’m so excited for the three day weekend, too! My wife has been deployed for 6 months and is coming home Sunday”, or “My wife and I got ourselves in too much credit card debt when we were first married, so I have some first hand experience with the topics in our lesson today…”, etc.
ZERO chance. If you did not know the recently married teacher was gay it is likely that is because she was terrified to let some folks find out, NOT because there is some kind of unspoken moratorium on anyone mentioning their family at school. But to be clear, you’re suggesting the teacher in the examples of conversations above has violated some kind of professional and ethical standard on the job. IMO, that is dehumanizing.
Then homeschooling or going to a private school that agrees with your beliefs is the best option, because in public school we teach about all of life and we share basic info about each others lives. Kids do. Teachers do.
At my school on the first day every single teacher hands out a “Getting to know you” slip of some sort for the student to fill out as they see fit. None of the questions ask about religion or sex, of course, they’re broader - things like, “What’s your favorite activity outside of school?” or “What would you like me to know about you?” and kids are free to answer however they see fit. The more we know about kids, the better we can teach them because of the connection we make.
Conversely, if parents had any idea about how much of their parents’ personal lives their kids share with us, they’d be horrified
I probably know about your kids’ cousins, what their siblings got in trouble for, what your screen time and mealtime rules are, and who does what chores in your household.
It’s also likely I know what you’ve said about me, if you’ve done their homework for them or if you are going to call them in sick because you are leaving early for vacation. I might know about how you feel about your boss, if you want to quit your job or what you and your spouse fight about. Basically, kids talk about EVERYTHING. It’s the ones that don’t that we worry about.
Fortunately, we know how to apply filters to that information and that what kids perceive or say isn’t always what actually happened.
When conservatives say they don’t want “family constructs” being discussed, they don’t mean to censor discussion of “traditional” family constructs, which have always been discussed. It is about marginalization.
It also seems like people are conflating instructing kids on matters of sexuality, religion, etc., and simply accepting that that people of different faiths or orientations exist in the world and don’t need to be hidden or treated as something outside the norm.
I’ve worked in every level of k-12. If some kid asks why Kevin’s two moms came to a school event, I am not going to tell the kid I am not allowed to acknowledge that Kevin has two moms. I am also not giving opinions on gay marriage or giving instructions on lesbian sex .
My son is gay, I’m very proud of him, his kind heart and all of his accomplishments. We are here to stay and not going back in the closet. If folks don’t think little Johnny can understand that some people are different then I feel sorry for little Johnny and worry about his future.
My family is a variant of normal, we can legally marry in every state and in many countries. Just by acknowledging our existence in life, books, school is not going to send you or your kid to hell and it won’t turn you gay either.
Are you are asking about my reply? The context was an elementary age child questioning a teacher about specific kids in their class and explanations of families. Not a sex-ed class.
Yes our state has “health class requirements.” In the past this class was mostly about biology, reproduction, nutrition, and having a healthy body… don’t do drugs etc.
If it’s at all like our school, it still is this way, though it explains why one shouldn’t do illegal drugs rather than just saying, “don’t do drugs.” Ditto for teaching facts about nutrition, reproduction, exercise, etc.
I agree. I have yet to tell a single student what sex/gender they should be or what religion they should have (or not) in my couple decades of teaching and I don’t foresee that changing in the future. FL seems to plan to tell its students though - TX too if they pass the 10 Commandments proposal.
My kids and I definitely knew teachers that were married and also knew gay teachers. Teacher’s personal lives come up all the time. You think that a pregnancy is not going to be noticed?
In my kids’ school two of the teachers were married to each other! Lots of the teachers’ kids also went to the school. We had an annual elementary school fair and teachers would sometimes bring their family to that.
So yes, families come in all shapes and sizes and it was discussed and demonstrated.
Does the Florida law also ban Gay Student Alliances (GSA)? My kids are both LGBTQ and that was pretty important for them to have that.
No, it is over-reach to say that conservatives want people to be marginalized. It is an easy tag-line/talking point and unfortunately why there is so much polarization.
Then what’s wrong with a book that has a picture of two dads in it reading to their kids or fixing dinner or something? What makes it ok if the same book has a mom & dad in it?
I am teaching in Florida. The books being removed, or placed as “by parent request only”, are typically any books that have gay characters.
There is the wording of legislation (which is deliberately vague while the consequences are menacing) and then the memorandums coming from the state to the districts with the instruction to err on the side of caution. So basically, they set this up so teachers and school personnel would be the ones removing books under fear of non-compliance while publicly claiming they are not banning books.
The legislation says (see upstream post) that abstinence outside a heterosexual marriage is to be presented as desired behavior and the norm.