<p>"When our kids played youth sports my husband and I saw this coming when adults said all kids had to have trophys win or lose. We protested but nobody saw the value that sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. And our kids were never on a winning team, we just felt it sent the wrong message."</p>
<p>I'm with you. Seems very silly to me, too.</p>
<p>I don't think you guys should wear any t-shirt, jacket, or sweater during decisions season. You're just reminding everyone else who didn't get accepted that they didn't get accepted. You guys should be proud, but it's too sensitive of a time right now to show it at all. </p>
<p>My views might be too extreme for you guys but it's to preven any potential hurt.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Posted By: ** jesca215 **:
i still don't know where to go: berkeley or UCSD soo hard
[/quote]
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<p>I'm really hoping that's sarcasm.</p>
<p>Girl: I can't choose between these two Ivies, I neeeeed your help.
Duper: It's ok, girl who I've outperformed academically, go to the one that helps me off a waitlist.</p>
<p>I don't think that anyone who got in should be ashamed, but I agree that boasting is rude and inconsiderate. I have a friend whom I had not spoken with in months. She called me to let me know three days after decisions that she and her instate boyfriend had been accepted to Cal and were on campus when they found out. Not only this but both are eligible for some sort of special scholarship. I was psyched for her. I like Berkeley, but it has never been my dream school. However, when she found out that I was not accepted, she began the "poor you" routine that I despise. She acted as if UCLA was beneath her, even though she was rejected. She changed her myspace name to something along the lines of "Cal isn't ready for Mandi's beauty" then laughed about how she knew I would get into a great school eventually. I thought that it was a bit too soon, even though I'm still happy that SOMEONE I know got in.</p>
<p>A kid I mentored through the application process was accepted to his dream school. His parents aren't involved in his life. He called me immediately and we celebrated over the phone. He's a modest guy, and I knew he wouldn't be talking it up around school. I emailed his principal, coach, and a couple of other teachers and said, "today would be a good day to ask x where he might be going to college...." </p>
<p>Without knowing someone's whole back story, sometimes what looks like bragging or attention seeking, is just someone who is very, very needy. It shouldn't always be indulged, but the act of tolerating a fellow human's celebration even when we are in pain is a real gift.</p>
<p>"I don't think you guys should wear any t-shirt, jacket, or sweater during decisions season. You're just reminding everyone else who didn't get accepted that they didn't get accepted. You guys should be proud, but it's too sensitive of a time right now to show it at all."</p>
<p>So... if one makes a varsity team or cheerleading squad, one shouldn't wear the uniform for a while in case it hurts the feelings of those who were rejected?</p>
<p>I think it's wrong that only in academic endeavors are people expected to hide their accomplishments. Again, there's a big difference between wearing a college T-shirt and obnoxiously boasting.</p>
<p>Each of the above posts make very good points to consider. </p>
<p>In recollection, the way I acted in the immediate aftermath my acceptance was not perfect. For me, I felt like the luckiest kid in the world...getting into my dream school and getting a great financial offer to smooth the way. I did share this news with a few of my friends without considering that they might've been turned down by their own dream schools. </p>
<p>Everything has worked out though, without any major misunderstandings. I apologized the very next day for "shooting off my mouth" and then kept my mouth shut about college after that. </p>
<p>I'm very glad I learned my lesson here and will be able to handle future happenings with better grace and consideration for others.</p>
<p>
[quote]
I don't think that anyone who got in should be ashamed, but I agree that boasting is rude and inconsiderate. I have a friend whom I had not spoken with in months. She called me to let me know three days after decisions that she and her instate boyfriend had been accepted to Cal and were on campus when they found out. Not only this but both are eligible for some sort of special scholarship. I was psyched for her. I like Berkeley, but it has never been my dream school. However, when she found out that I was not accepted, she began the "poor you" routine that I despise. She acted as if UCLA was beneath her, even though she was rejected. She changed her myspace name to something along the lines of "Cal isn't ready for Mandi's beauty" then laughed about how she knew I would get into a great school eventually. I thought that it was a bit too soon, even though I'm still happy that SOMEONE I know got in.
[/quote]
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<p>I do hope you applied and get into stanford just to show her hehehe (see the bold remark)</p>
<p>speaking of which, our valedictorean is going around talking about how she can't decide between Yale and Pton. Ha</p>
<p>Maybe we'd like to see a world where everyone is humble and considerate. Of course, that's not going to happen in the future. I think most of the time, those who are accepted are just so jubilant at having their hard work paid off that they are willing to cross acceptable (to them) moral bounds a little. Try to be a little patient with them. Those who are really snooty about it, well, that just gives you an added incentive to do the best you can wherever you are going right? No one expects a dark horse.</p>
<p>I know people will always be snooty and rude, but most people on this forum are quite the opposite. It's just a gentle reminder to remember those less fortunate than you.</p>
<p>A bit like getting to eat a grand feast while people starve around you. haha it's a stretch, i know. You deserve it, but don't shove it in their face.</p>
<p>Wearing your shirt, being proud, talking about it...of course it's perfectly fine! I'm simply advising to watch how you portray yourself, remember how lucky you are, appreciate your wins and shrug off your losses, and help your friends and classmates by being modest and considerate.</p>
<p>It's different when you drive around in an expensive car. First of all, you bought that car, you had complete control of it. You weren't waiting for months to hear from the dealership. Second, you're not surrounded by people who's career/happiness might be dependant on that car.</p>
<p>College > cars. Sorry, I love em...but!</p>
<p>I know people will always be snooty and rude, but most people on this forum are quite the opposite and don't mean anything by being bragging or excited. It's just a gentle reminder to remember those less fortunate than you, and to acknowledge you're not better than anyone else.</p>
<p>A bit like getting to eat a grand feast while people starve around you. haha it's a stretch, i know. You deserve it, but don't shove it in their face.</p>
<p>Wearing your shirt, being proud, talking about it...of course it's perfectly fine! I'm simply advising to watch how you portray yourself, remember how lucky you are, appreciate your wins and shrug off your losses, and help your friends and classmates by being modest and considerate.</p>
<p>It's different when you drive around in an expensive car. First of all, you bought that car, you had complete control of it. You weren't waiting for months to hear from the dealership. Second, you're not surrounded by people who's career/happiness might be dependant on that car.</p>
<p>College > cars. Sorry, I love em...but!</p>
<p>People who got in to favored schools should refrain from being inconsiderate. In my mind, wearing a t-shirt, without any aggravating action, is not inconsiderate. However, going around telling your friend who didn't get in anywhere, or only to into their safety, how hard your life is that you have to decide between Harvard and Yale, is extremely inconsiderate.</p>
<p>People who did not get in to their favored schools should also refrain from being inconsiderate. Grumbling with your friends about your hard luck is not inconsiderate. Whining to anyone who will listen about how so-and-so obviously only got in to a favored school because of gender/race/etc, is extremely inconsiderate.</p>
<p>I agree that we should be sensitive to the fact that not everyone has had the college acceptance outcome they desired. But I also think we should be sensitive and not accuse people of bragging when they may not be. To me that is equally insensitive.</p>
<p>I am the parent of a senior D going to college next year.</p>
<p>This is a great thread. Besides great discussion, it is something that all the current seniors should be reading to get a feel for other peoples feelings.</p>
<p>Wearing a shirt, telling friends, it is all in the presentation. Humble, respectful of others, etc. and people will look at you and be happy for you.</p>
<p>Wearing a shirt, telling friends, boa****l, inconsiderate, and people will resent you forever in life because you will do the same in all facets of life. </p>
<p>The way children and families handle this time is a true test of their makeup.</p>
<p>I couldn't agree more about the boa****l crap of "I can't decide Princeton or Yale". I see it on this board all the time. </p>
<p>My D's decision is like most others. Happiness and sadness all wrapped up in one.
I am proud of her actions at school because she is experiencing both sides. </p>
<p>It's all just a testament to society. There will always be the people in life who can only see the world from their selfish point of view.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Whining to anyone who will listen about how so-and-so obviously only got in to a favored school because of gender/race/etc, is extremely inconsiderate.
[/quote]
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<p>How so? The fact is that the admission process is not a complete lottery, it involves human decisions. This process does take race and gender into consideration.
For those who are waitlisted due to "gender/race/etc", I think they have every right to whine as they please. Suppressing emotions for sensitivity is never a healthy thing to do. After all, as we all know, this process is not as random as a lottery. There is always a 'REASON' why someone is not in.</p>
<p>I agree with Northstarmom on the sports analogy. Our high school has pep rallys three times a year, every student goes and are ecouraged to cheer for the team. Most people know who the MVP's are, who made a home run, and who scored the most goals. Walk down the halls of any high school and you'll see a trophy case of athetilc acomplishments and morning annoucements talk about the latest game. We have no assembly for NHS or academic honors. They have a nice program for friends and families but by no means is it a school wide fucntion. Brag about your home run or touchdown, but don't mention your college acceptance or SAT scores. I love sports but ultimately what scores are more imporant ten years down the road.</p>
<p>Agree with momkaes.
To be honest, the reality is that the football stars in HS are often the roofers/pool cleaners/body guards for the HS nerds in later life.</p>
<p>the underlying issue is that of "dream" in the phrase "dream school".</p>
<p>There are no dream schools. One must wake up to attend. This notion is similar to the nonsensical idea that there is "one perfect person out there for me". </p>
<p>Both unhealthy notions divert one's attention from, in the first case, simply learning and enjoying the process wherever one is, and in the second, from working on one's own self to become the best partner possible for the person (out of thousands) to which one is well matched.</p>