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Why is it ok to cheer on and showcase school sports stars but not give equal value to academic achievements?
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<p>the reason y this issue remains contentious is because critics of the shirt continue to dodge this point</p>
<p>Wearing a college shirt is fine. In fact, I wore a Berkeley shirt today.</p>
<p>I wore my manifold shirt today. D:</p>
<p>I personally think that the line of thinking that spawns such a thread is bitter and misguided. I'm not going to say that "you should have tried harder if you wanted to get into a good school" or "it was the luck of the draw" because neither is completely true. </p>
<p>Why should it be a problem for people to wear the shirt of the school to which they plan to go? If it offends you, I'd say that you should stop being a sore loser and gain some perspective. In je<em>ne</em>sais_quoi's post #49, her daughter was called courageous and graceful, and then dignified by another poster, but was it really dignified or classy for her to get teary eyed about somebody else's college sweatshirt in the first place?</p>
<p>I've spent my life being a loser. I rarely win anything. Any time there is a competition, I'm the one left without the medal while others around me have theirs. Of course it makes me feel bad. Would I ever ask them to remove the medals because they offend me? Of course not. It was the loss that hurt, not the fact that others won.</p>
<p>Thanks for your responses. I will leave him alone and let him wear the school garb.</p>
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If they tried harder, partied less, etc..., then they wouldn't be in the situation that they're envious and feel bad about their classmates.
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<p>That has got to be the most obnoxious comment of my day. </p>
<p>And to all the posters that "refuse to censor their feelings" and carry that "I'm a winner and they lost screw them" attitude, well, it truly reflects on the kind of person you are. Also, feeling crushed when seeing a classmate wearing a sweatshirt from a dream school does not mean they shouldn't wear their shirt, but come ON, of course it hurts. It's like when your dog dies and you see people playing with their pets and feel sad. It's not about "winning", it's about working hard and hoping for the best. If you treat college decisions like a "game" and a "contest", it makes people question your level of integrity and social intelligence.</p>
<p>Thanks for everyone for sharing their stories. I'm glad most posters got the message I was trying to convey. :)</p>
<p>"How so? The fact is that the admission process is not a complete lottery, it involves human decisions. This process does take race and gender into consideration.
For those who are waitlisted due to "gender/race/etc", I think they have every right to whine as they please. Suppressing emotions for sensitivity is never a healthy thing to do. After all, as we all know, this process is not as random as a lottery. There is always a 'REASON' why someone is not in."</p>
<p>Except that sometimes its not a great reason =).</p>
<p>I don't know if the whole minority acceptance issue is real or not, but I get suspicious at times...</p>
<p>Millerw16 I understand your opinion but I have to say that there is a time and a place to express those opinions (such as a thread like this). I am black and was accepted at HYP while most of my white friend were rejected. When they found out about my acceptances I became the target of every person's personal tyrade against AA. It was hurtful to hear people I thought were my friends accuse me of taking their spots and/or of not deserving to be accepted. I understand that the current admissions process is not perfect and I agree that AA is not the fair to many but I am not responsible for it. I did not make the system so don't yell at me when it fails you. Everyone remember that your friends wanted you to get in just as much as you did. Have your opinions but please be tactful.</p>
<p>If it was an acceptance to the Olympic Team rather than college, we'd celebrate and not call it "bragging". </p>
<p>Why must celebrating academic successes be considered "immodest" and "immoral" to quote from previous posts?</p>
<p>In sports, there is something called national signing day when recruited athletes publicly sign on to their schools. Much is made of it. At some schools, this even is done at assemblies so the whole student body can watch.</p>
<p>Surely there are some present who would have wished to have been recruited to those schools, and who were rejected from the schools or couldn't afford to go to the schools. Yet, there still is a public signing and people are expected to express good wishes for the athletes.</p>
<p>I heartily believe that these events are fine. I think it's wrong that so many people appear to think that students who aren't athletes should hide their college acceptances -- and not even wear their college T-shirts in public for fear of hurting the feelings of students who didn't get into those schools.</p>
<p>Just goes to show the double standard that exists for intellectual achievements.</p>
<p>I can relate to this. Once I was talking to a few friends how I had no intention of going to UCLA, and I believe my response had accidentally offended some. When talking about college plans, one really needs to think before one speaks.</p>
<p>I think bragging is bragging. Doing it for intellectual or athletic reasons doesn't make a difference. It's equally annoying.</p>
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I think bragging is bragging. Doing it for intellectual or athletic reasons doesn't make a difference. It's equally annoying.
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<p>I imagine then that the intention is key here. If one were to celebrate and acknowledge another's accomplishments would that be bragging? To some it would be the case no matter what the intent. We should be able to celebrate, revel in and share great achievement and accomplishment. Where I'm from those that can't be happy for those that are more fortunate than themselves, we call, and aptly so, "haters."</p>
<p>If one is annoyed by the celebration of the good fortunes of others, maybe that individual needs to examine themselves at why they are at odds with someone who is celebrated. Envy, jealousy, sour grapes, or a plethora of other malevalent emotional disorders maybe?</p>
<p>On the topic of public recognition for accomplishments, specifically athletic signing events:</p>
<p>Years ago I read a book by Alfie Kohn called Punished by Rewards. It changed my parenting style, and my feelings about these award events. Mr. Kohn's premise is that kids and adults are often harmed by external rewards for accomplishments. If this intrigues you, read Kohn. And as far as the events go, who really enjoys them? Possibly only the parents. The student or athlete is usually somewhat embarrassed to be singled out or put on a stage, and certainly if the audience is forced to attend, like at a school assembly, it doesn't want to be there. Unless they are the best friend of the award recipient, they are probably thinking, "Oh God, not another trophy for that kid....What a waste of my time." They are probably not thinking, "If only I'd tried a little harder, I could be signing with school X." It's a downer.</p>
<p>We've turned to quietly celebrating our kids' successes. Our friends and relatives who want to know about them do. Heartfelt emails to the kids has become the norm.</p>
<p>My D did not participate in the signing event at her school (she would have been "signing"), and saw it as one mom's attempt at glorifying her child. </p>
<p>Every family makes their own choice on this, but I invite questioning some of these practices.</p>
<p>americanbeauty23:</p>
<p>i totally agree with your reminder note. yes, being accepted to dream schools is a high achievement in every sense of the word. it takes a lot to be up there, a winner in the most competitive race young kids have ever participated in up to now and they do deserve every moment of glory and pride. but we always must remember that many in countless number, themselves qualified but missed out the chance because of lack of available spots, also deserve kind understanding and encouragement.</p>
<p>we only should wish them best of luck and success in their future. there's so much more they can do in the future to contribute to their families and society. this is just the beginning. the road ahead is still wide open.</p>