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281

<p>Excerpt: Sometimes it is necessary to challenge what people in authority claim to be true. Although some respect for authority is, no doubt, necessary in order for any group or organization to function, questioning the people in charge – even if they are experts or leaders in their fields – makes us better thinkers. It forces all concerned to defend old ideas and decisions and to consider new ones. Sometimes it can even correct old errors in thought and put an end to wrong actions.</p>

<p>Assignment: Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>No one can always be right. Even the people in charge who appear to know exactly what they are doing can be wrong. It is necessary to challenge what people in authority claim to be true as shown in something as big as the colonies rebelling in the Revolutionary War and in simple everyday life with a student correcting his teacher’s mistake.</p>

<p>If the colonists had never questioned the views of the king of England, they wouldn’t have gotten the rights they knew the deserved. Prior to the Revolutionary War, the colonists had to pay taxes to England even though England wasn’t giving them anything and they weren’t represented in government. The colonists had to challenge the people in authority, in this case the king and Parliament, to get the rights they should’ve had. Even though the king claimed that the law was best, the colonists still fought tback because they knew it was wrong.</p>

<p>Challenging authority can also happen in less extreme circumstances such as a student asking a teacher to regrade his test. The teacher has a PhD in calculus and has been teaching for 20 years meaning she is an expert in her field. However, even the people with the most authority can make mistakes. The student points out that he did one of the problems on the math test correctly, but the teacher had marked it as incorrect. She looks it over and realizes she didn’t make a mistake and gives the student back his points. As a result, the grade on the test goes from a B and A. It was necessary to question the teacher’s grading in order for the student to get points for a problem he had done correctly. Had the student not questioned her, he would’ve gotten an unfair grade.</p>

<p>Even king or expert teacher can make mistakes as shown by the Revolutionary War and this student’s math test. It is necessary to question people in positions of authority because even they can be wrong.</p>

282

<p>PROMPT-Can success be disastrous?</p>

<p>Essay:
Man has always reaped for success. Achieving his or her goals and
gaining success has always been everyone’s dream in life. However, the
need for too much success or power can be lethal. One’s self pride
proliferates as their need for success becomes insatiable until it
eventually backfires. Success can be disastrous because it causes one
to become corrupt and supercilious as they strive to constantly gain
more and more success. Throughout literature and history, the process
of attempting to gain more success has led to one’s demise because
greed for more success is attained, proving that success an be
disastrous.</p>

<p>First, in Sophocles’ Greek tragedy, Antigone, King Creon tries to
succeed in making the citizens of Thebes to obey him. Creon issues a
decree stating that no one can bury Polyneices who died in a duel
against his brother Eteocles. If someone attempts to bury him, he or
she will be killed. Antigone, Polyneices’ and Eteocles’ sister
believes she is responsible to provide Polyneices with a proper
burial. She blatantly disobeys Creon’s decree. Creon is furious
because someone disobeyed him. He orders to be locked away in a
cavernous location, to prove to Thebes that no one can cross him.
Subsequently, Antigone commits suicide. Haemon, Creon’s son, stabs
himself because he lost the love of his life. Creon’s wife then kills
herself because her son is dead. This leaves Creon alone and pathetic.
Eventually he kills himself too. Creon, who was so persistent in
trying to achieve his goal and gain success, ended up dead. His
egoistical greed for success led to his demise.</p>

<p>Next, Napoleon Bonaparte’s goal was to conquer Europe and most of the
Old World. Beginning with the Italian campaign, Napoleon defeated
Austrian armies when he was attempting to restore the Bourbon
monarchy. Moreover, he was sent to Egypt where he defeated the
Mamluks in the Battle of the Pyramids. Later, he went on defeat the
Ottoman Turks. Then, Napoleon won a great battle against Austrian and
Russian forces at Austerlitz. Napoleon then turned to Prussia,
defeating them at Jena. His empire reached its critical point when he
triumphed against the Russians. His empire was so vast, it stretched
from West Europe to Russia and south until Sahara. However, his greed
for more success, eventually led to his fall. He was exiled twice and
finally died in Helena.</p>

<p>Achieving one’s goals and succeeding is exceptional. Everyone should
be striving for success. It is however when one’s avarice for success
intercedes with one’s path to achieving one’s goals, that can lead to
calamity.</p>

283

<p>PROMPT-Can success be disastrous?</p>

<p>Essay:
Man has always reaped for success. Achieving his or her goals and
gaining success has always been everyone’s dream in life. However, the
need for too much success or power can be lethal. One’s self pride
proliferates as their need for success becomes insatiable until it
eventually backfires. Success can be disastrous because it causes one
to become corrupt and supercilious as they strive to constantly gain
more and more success. Throughout literature and history, the process
of attempting to gain more success has led to one’s demise because
greed for more success is attained, proving that success an be
disastrous.</p>

<p>First, in Sophocles’ Greek tragedy, Antigone, King Creon tries to
succeed in making the citizens of Thebes to obey him. Creon issues a
decree stating that no one can bury Polyneices who died in a duel
against his brother Eteocles. If someone attempts to bury him, he or
she will be killed. Antigone, Polyneices’ and Eteocles’ sister
believes she is responsible to provide Polyneices with a proper
burial. She blatantly disobeys Creon’s decree. Creon is furious
because someone disobeyed him. He orders to be locked away in a
cavernous location, to prove to Thebes that no one can cross him.
Subsequently, Antigone commits suicide. Haemon, Creon’s son, stabs
himself because he lost the love of his life. Creon’s wife then kills
herself because her son is dead. This leaves Creon alone and pathetic.
Eventually he kills himself too. Creon, who was so persistent in
trying to achieve his goal and gain success, ended up dead. His
egoistical greed for success led to his demise.</p>

<p>Next, Napoleon Bonaparte’s goal was to conquer Europe and most of the
Old World. Beginning with the Italian campaign, Napoleon defeated
Austrian armies when he was attempting to restore the Bourbon
monarchy. Moreover, he was sent to Egypt where he defeated the
Mamluks in the Battle of the Pyramids. Later, he went on defeat the
Ottoman Turks. Then, Napoleon won a great battle against Austrian and
Russian forces at Austerlitz. Napoleon then turned to Prussia,
defeating them at Jena. His empire reached its critical point when he
triumphed against the Russians. His empire was so vast, it stretched
from West Europe to Russia and south until Sahara. However, his greed
for more success, eventually led to his fall. He was exiled twice and
finally died in Helena.</p>

<p>Achieving one’s goals and succeeding is exceptional. Everyone should
be striving for success. It is however when one’s avarice for success
intercedes with one’s path to achieving one’s goals, that can lead to
calamity.</p>

284

<p>Hi,</p>

<p>This is my first attempt at an SAT essay. I know there will probably be a lot of room for improvement, so please grade it for me and provide any feedback that may be of use.I recognize that spelling mistakes are a problem in my essay, among other things. Will that affect my score?</p>

<p>Thanks.</p>

<p>Prompt:</p>

<p>“Sometimes it is necessary to challenge what people in authority claim to be true. Although some respect for authority is, no doubt, necessary in order for any group or organization to function, questioning the people in charge- even if they are experts or leaders in their fields- makes us better thinkers. It forces all concerned to defend old ideas and decisions and to consider new ones. Sometimes it can even correct old errors in thought and put an end to wrong actions.”</p>

<p>Question:</p>

<p>“Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in authority?”</p>

<p>My essay:</p>

<p>It is highlly important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority and power. A lot of scientific discoveries have been a direct result of questioning the dogmas propagated by people in authority.Similarly, lot of personal achievements and break throughs can be achieved only through questioning of conventions propagated by authority. Likewise, lot of social injustice can also be averted only by questioning authority.Below,we will discuss several examples, which will make these points clear.</p>

<p>The world,had for a long time been considered to be flat, and that was the view propagated by the religous leaders at the time. To suggest otherwise, was deemed heretical. Even so, a lot of scientists and thinkers like Galileo, through their emprical observations came to the conclusion that the world was round. Without their abject willingness to question and go against the church’s dogma, such a discovery would not have been possible. Thus, we see questioning of authority, in this case, has been highlly fruitful in advancing science.</p>

<p>Another example I would like to share, is my own personal experience at the gym. All the ‘experienced’ trainers there had been advicing me to follow low rep, high weight training, to maximize my fitness and put on most amount of muscle possible for my body. I tried following that routine for over an year, but it yielded little in the form of results.So, on the basis of further research, I decided to switch to high reps and medium weight routine, and after that I’ve seen an amazing change in my body. So, the trick here was to not just follow what the ‘trainers’ had been propagating, but to question their methods, and find the method that worked the best for me.</p>

<p>Another example would be, the prevalance of caste system in India, and how Gandhi did a great deal in removing this social evil by questioning this system, which was preached by all the religous leaders in India, and which had been passed on for generations.</p>

<p>Thus, from the above examples we see, questioning authority is essential both for personal improvement as well as for development of humanity as a whole.</p>

285

<p>Let’s be honest… I don’t think the OP even checks this anymore o.o Who is bumping these 2012 threads…</p>

286

<p>Hello. i am taking the SAT in October and i am currently preparing for it. i wanted to get someone else’s opinion on this essay i wrote and this is the best place to do it. so the topic is :
Is it really impossible to fail? are some failures unsuccessful attempts to accomplish what we set out to do, or do all failures ultimately provide some benefit, even if we can’t see it right away?.
And here’s what i wrote:</p>

<p>In my personal point of view, failure is possible only when we stop trying. they say that failure is the first step of success, when i believe that failure happens only if we stop trying to succeed or when we accept the unsuccessful attempts we encounter</p>

<p>Take for example the African American Civil Right Movement lead by the mighty Martin Luther King Jr. and Rosa Louise McCauley Parks at his side. Many before them tried to end the racial segregation once and for all, people such as Irene Morgan and Sarah Louise Key, and they didn’t succeed due to the strongly corrupt mentality at that time. in fact, they failed. Why? because they simply stopped trying to change the mentality and gave up, forgetting the purpose of their movement. But, Martin luther king jr. and rosa parks were determined to make a difference. although they encountered many rough patches, trails, and tribulations throughout, but they didnt allow any negative encounter or situation to stop them. with their determination to succeed and the African American society’s best interest at heart, look at the result of their works now.</p>

<p>another scenario that i personally believe is the lead example of determination and success is Helen Keller. she is an author, lecturer, and a political activist. let’s not forget that she is both: deaf and blind. so many people believed that she will never make it and she will fail at everything she does due to her conditions, but she never allowed her situations to stand in the way of her firmness and success. although she had an extremely hard time with unsuccesful attempts and nearly everything, however she never called them “failures” she twisted the situations to her benefits and made these unsuccessful attempts be the gasoline to her fire and her determination. and no matter how hard she fell, every time she would rise with stronger determination and harder firmness of purpose and mind.</p>

<p>We only fail when we stop trying to succeed. failure is never the first step of success, because in order to succeed we not only have to try once and twice, we have to try a hundred times if we have to and failure is when we stop trying. it is when we lose our determination to what we set out to do and lose the passion to our purpose and our wants that we fail. we make failure possible, and we make it impossible too, it solely depends on us.</p>

287

<p>@NFK112 Honestly, and sorry to be harsh, but I would’ve stopped after the first paragraph and given you a 3-4/6 for the length only. “In my personal point of view” is horrible. Not only is it redundant (twice), because we know this is your point of view and personal is the same as my, but it is also a very weak beginning. You want to state: “failure is possible only…” as if it were a fact. </p>

<p>Your grammar is rather bad, not only in terms of typos and missed capital letters, but also colons and commas in wrong places. </p>

<p>Finally, and most important, is that you didn’t properly answer the prompt. Sure, I could guess, correctly, that because you believe failure only happens when we stop trying, you are saying it is completely possible to fail. However, you do need to point that out. Similarly, in each body paragraph, you need to end with a connection back to your thesis and prompt. </p>

<p>I’m sorry if I sounded really harsh. I try to be critical when need be, and I hope what I have written will help you write a significantly improved essay for next time.</p>

288

<p>I’m still not too good with these essays, so I apologize in advance</p>

<p>Does questioning authority make a society stronger?</p>

<pre><code> Questioning authority does make a society stronger. Analyzing several examples from literature, current events, and history, it can be shown that society strengthen when it comes together to question authority.
An excellent example of this strengthened society can be shown in the novel Animal Farm, a parallel to the Bolshevik Revolution in Russia. In Orwell’s novel, a group of farm animals take over a farm and kick the humans out. They establish their own Utopian society, with everything going well at first. However, as the novel progresses, the pigs take authoritative power and claim supremacy over all other animals. They declare themselves to be the leaders of the farm. At first, the other animals comply, but when they realize that the pigs are doing no work and getting all of the resources, the animals unite as one to revolt against the pigs. These animals form bonds amongst themselves stronger than ever before in order to go against the authoritative figures.
Moving on to a more historical point, we can turn to the Civil Rights Movement in the United States. This movement ultimately led to an end to segregation and eventually racial integration to society. However, this great achievement could not have been possible unless society as a whole questioned the laws passed by authoritative figures. Martin Luther King Jr., a leader of the Civil Rights Movement, brought together several thousand people in Washington D.C. who all wanted the same thing, an end to this unjust system of classification that existed until the 1960’s. This bond fueled by the desire to eradicate such a cruel system was stronger than any law authorities could pass to prevent them from achieving their goal. The Civil Rights Movement is a crucial example showing that society becomes stronger when it questions authority.
We can also turn to an event that occurred recently, in Missouri. An unarmed teen was shot and killed by a police officer. The entire community has taken to the streets to demand for justice for this teen. I was speaking to a friend of mine in Missouri, who lives around the same community. She says that these people, who don’t even remotely know each other, are acting as though they are family in order to achieve their goal of going against the authoritative figures and get justice for this teen.
Carefully analyzing current events, the Civil Rights Movement, and Animal farm, questioning authority does indeed strengthen authority.
</code></pre>

<p>I also need help with my introductions and conclusions, how do I make them stronger? </p>

289

<p>PLEASE HELP ME WITH MY ESSAY
I do not need a score even though Id appreciate one. Please help me make this into a 12 essay. Sorry for the writing in advance. I am bad at writing
Prompt: Is there greater satisfaction in pursing a goal than in achieving it?</p>

<p>We all have goals in our lives, petty or consequential. They can be as small as baking perfect cookies, or they can be grand, long-term goals like majoring in biology. From achieving various goals, we usually feel some sense of relief because we do not have to strive so hard anymore. There is also rewarding satisfaction in accomplishment, the result of hard work and effort. Often times, great satisfaction in achieving a goal allows an individual to persevere the process of pursuing a goal, which may be unpleasant at times.
Rachel Carson, the founder of environmental movement in America, had the ultimate goal of protecting nature. She worked her way to her dream by writing her influential book, Silent Spring(1962), in which she overtly defied the use of DDT, emphasizing its deleterious effects. It was not an easy path, however, as Carson had to face criticism from and was derided by agrichemical businesses that produced the pesticide-some even defined her ‘hysterical.’ The process of pursuing her goal was not very satisfactory or enjoyable for her.
However, there is a reason why Carson could withstand the hostility from the companies: she believed in satisfaction from achievement. Her efforts eventually led to the universal ban of DDT in 1972 and the establishment of the EPA, an organization that would further help preserve nature, fulfilling her goal. Because Carson took pleasure in the accomplishment of her cause, she was able to overcome the obstacles she faced on her way to achievement. It was her main motivation.
As demonstrated in Carson’s case, pursuing a goal is not always smooth and easy. She was passionate about writing itself, but when she saw impediments on her way, she could only cling to the promised satisfaction in achievement for hope.</p>

290

<p>Could someone please grade my first essay? It’s the first from the official blue book. Thanks!
Prompt:
Sometimes it is necessary to challenge what people in authority claim to be true. Although some respect for authority is, no doubt, necessary in order for any group or organization to function, questioning the people in charge – even if they are experts or leaders in their fields – make us better thinkers. It forces all concerned to defend old ideas and decisions and to consider new ones. Sometimes it can even correct old errors in thought and put an end to wrong actions.
It is important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with the reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.
Essay:
Leadership is a crucial defining quality to any authoritative figure(s). While necessary for any hierarchy to function, those below have the right and duty of questioning authoritative actions. In politics, the concept of Sousveillance mandates that in order for any good governing body to be properly transparent and truly be ‘of the people,’ the people have just as much if not more so the right to know happenings of government as the government has to know about the people in order to protect and serve them. This idea addresses the historical pattern of power leading to corruption. From bribed politicians to delusional dictators, power can easily go to the head(s) of the leading figures(s). Intention can be twisted to favoring the retainment of said power rather than the default motives native to any authoritative position. In this way credibility can be lost and transparency is necessary. Inquiry in the first driving action to the attainment of knowledge. Driven by natural curiosity most have, inquiry is the first step in challenging the status quo, decisions, or general statements made by those who are presumed to be the authority on a matter. Logically, either assuming something to be true or dismissal on the same grounds, taking was is put out as fact without regard for evidence other than the authoritative figure’s stance is irresponsible and fallacious. The burden of proof is always on the creator of a claim. “Ad hominem” refers to this fallacy of dismissing something due to some circumstance applying to the one who made the statement, and it works in reverse wherein nothing should be blindly followed without evidence regardless of the source. It is of the greatest importance to question authority as it improves thinking, improves life, and advances knowledge.</p>

291

<p>please can someone grade my essay for me?</p>

<p>We do not take the time to determine right from wrong. Reflecting on the difference between right and wrong is hard work. It is so much easier to follow the crowd, going along with what is popular rather than risking the disapproval of others by voicing an objection of any kind.
Adapted from Stephen J. Carter, Integrity
Assignment:
Is it always best to determine one’s own views of right and wrong, or can we benefit from following the crowd? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>It is always best to follow one’s own views and ideas, and to avoid following the crowd. Although it may seem frightening or even dangerous to have unique views about right and wrong, going by one’s own judgement can lead to change and success in the long run. History shows us that having our own opinion allows us to find this change and success.
One historical example of someone who decided to stand strong by his beliefs was Martin Luther, the man largely responsible for the Protestant Reformation of the 14th and 15th centuries. During Luther’s early life, he frequently wondered why and how people could be saved from eternal damnation if they were able to simply buy indulgences from the Catholic Church. After attending a religious school for some time, he came to the conclusion that, contrary to what the Church preached, the Bible was the sole item that could be interpreted for religious purposes, and that clerics and clergymen could not be approved of to speak of the choice of God. Luther then posted his 95 Theses (a list of 95 grievances against the Church) to the door of the Church. His action led to widespread thoughts, as many began to believe that Luther was right, that they couldn’t just accept the word of the Church without any textual evidence. By defying the opinions and beliefs of the majority of Europe, Luther helped create a seemingly worldwide revolution that helped purify Christianity. By having our own views and fighting for them, we too can make change like Martin Luther.
Another person who was not afraid of having his own view was Copernicus. Copernicus lived in the 18th century, during the Scientific Revolution, a time of great discoveries and innovations. At the time, people were still believing that the world revolved around the Earth, an ideology we now call geocentricity. People mainly believed this because, since the time of Aristotle, this idea had been in society. Unlike the rest, however, Copernicus thought that the geocentric idea was incorrect. He was not looking to challenge the Church by any means, but he simply felt that there could be a better explanation than the current one. His research led him to proposing the heliocentric model, which, contrary to popular belief, stated that the sun was the center of the solar system, and that all the planets (including Earth) revolved around it. During his life, Copernicus was never taken seriously for this idea. In fact, he was frequently derided for proposing such an unreasonable idea. Still, it is important to note that Copernicus did not follow what everyone else believed, and instead he set out to prove that his idea was correct. His work led to more advancements in astronomy in the long run. Like Copernicus, we can achieve long term success if we decide to prove our unique views are true.
It in inherent nature to follow what everyone else is doing, whether they are right or wrong. But by following the crowd, you will get nowhere, and instead you will be only stuck with the masses. If you have differing views that you think are right, then show them! Like Martin Luther and Copernicus, you can be successful and make change in the world if you have your own beliefs and fight until the end for them.</p>

<p>as a side note, CB online course gave this a 12, but ive heard its only based on length, so can someone make sure if it was worthy lol? thx again!!</p>

292

<p>“Nowadays nothing is private: our culture has become too confessional and self-expressive. People think that to hide one’s thoughts or feelings is to pretend not to have those thoughts or feelings. They assume that honesty requires one to express every inclination and impulse.”
Adapted from J.David Velleman, “The Genesis of Shame”</p>

<p>Assignment
Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<pre><code> I think that it will depend on the situations to try to keep things private. It depends on many things. First, I think it depends on listeners. You should never open up your real feelings and thoughts to an inappropriate listener. If a word is said to a right listener, it would be like a jewel. Both the speaker and the listener can get advantages. However, if the same word is said to a wrong listener, it would be a rabbish or even a fire. It would probably cause troubles for both of them. Sometimes, there are things that are better to be kept as secrets. Just keeping secrets doesn’t mean dishonesty. It is wisdom. Secondly, whether to hide our feelings or not depends on the time. It is very important to say the right word at the right time. Otherwise, no one will be interested in what you are saying. If it is right place and right time, then we should express our feelings and thoughts. Because we, human beings, have to be strong . We must be brave enough to express our feelings and defend for them. We must not hide our feelings from the others. If we do so, these feelings and thoughts would run away from ourselves forever. Then , we will become like robots which do everything as instructed. If we want to be successful in our life, we have to negotiate with other people. To do so, we have to share our thoughts and feelings to each other. We have to try to understand each other’s feelings. Moreover, we have to accept if they are wrong. When people show us our mistakes, we have to accept and try for the better. If you don’t tell your thoughts to anyone else, then, no one will be able to mend your mistake. So, we must not hide them away from the others. However, as I have told, we need to tell them our thoughts at the right time and right place.
</code></pre>

<p>Thank you so much,</p>

293

<p>Would anyone help me grade my essay?
It isn’t one of my best works. I couldn’t think of what to write.</p>

<p>Quote
Nowadays nothing is private: our culture has become too confessional and self-expressive.
People think that to hide one’s thoughts or feelings is to pretend not to have those thoughts
or feelings. They assume that honesty requires one to express every inclination and impulse.</p>

<p>Prompt
Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private?</p>

<p>Essay
People should refrain from being too public at certain times. This can be seen in the epic The Odyssey with the main character, Odysseus. Other times it is best if one’s emotions and thoughts are let out. This is shown history with Gandhi’s movement to free India. Weather one should be expressive or not depends on the situation.</p>

<p>The Odyssey follows Odysseus’s journey home after a war. On the way home, Odysseus and his men are captured by a cyclops; however, Odysseus was able to cunningly outsmart the cyclops and escape unscattered with the exception of a couple of his men. After this Odysseus should have been home free, but he makes a grave mistake. He was too public and vocal. As he leaves the island, he taunts the injured cyclops, not holding back his hubris and sense of pride. This causes the cyclops to ask his father, Poseidon, to curse Odysseus, prolonging his journey home by years. Because Odysseus could not hold back his feelings and keep them private, he suffered immensely.</p>

<p>Gandhi and the people of India had to speak out against the British in order to obtain progress on their quest for independence. If the people were too docile and kept quiet, their voices would never be heard. However, with the help of Gandhi, the people of India participated in non-violent protest which made their cause heard throughout the world. Eventually they were able to obtain their freedom all because they stood up for themselves and spoke out.</p>

<p>At certain times it is best to refrain from letting all your thoughts and feelings out. At other times it is best if you are vocal. It all depends on the situation. In Odysseus’s case he should have had more restraint on himself and his pride. In contrast, it was the best course of action for the Indian people and Gandhi to speak out and let their feelings be expressed.</p>

294

<p>Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.</p>

<p>Some politicians and educators advocate teaching values and character in schools. They claim that children need guidance to develop honesty, kindness, and trustworthiness and that schools should consider it their responsibility to foster these qualities just as they aim to foster academic skills. But good character simply cannot be taught in classrooms and through textbooks. Attempts to make values part of the curriculum will only take time and resources away from important academic subjects.</p>

<p>Assignment: Is it wrong to try to teach values and character in the classroom? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations. </p>

<p>My Essay:
The idea of standardized education insisting on a set value of ‘values’ or ‘guidance’ might have good intentions and loft inspirations, however, not only can its effectiveness be questioned, but the practicality of such an ambition is also very dubious.</p>

<p>Every culture has different values imparted to those who adhere to its rules. The japanese, for example, value tradition, collectivism, and pacifism. The Americans are known to value independence and an explorer’s spirit. The Chinese value hard work and loyalty to family. To insist on a concrete structure of values to teach would result in culture clash, especially in America, where many different people of different backgrounds reside. Lessons encouraging courage and a willingness to experiment would conflict with the traditional views of the Chinese. Similarly, traditional outlooks on ‘values’ would not resonate with those with more independent predelictions. To insist on a particular set of values to be taught is impossible, because the diversity within America would ensure that offence could be taken if a nation were to impose a certain set of values. Honesty, kindness and trustworthiness, after all, have different meanings in different cultures, and the U.S, with the honor of having one of the highest immigration rates in the world, should not seek to set such vague definitions in stone.</p>

<p>Another issue is practacality. Already, budget for schools is stretched to the breaking point. Teachers and schools have resorted to closing school for days to preserve money. How can the nation justify the vast amount of resources to kick start a program that offers dubious prospective effectiveness? Assuming that teachers are not already overworked and preoccupied with enhancing the academic capabilities of the wards, the ambition of imparting ‘values’ and ‘guidance’ would distract teachers from what they are hired to teach. Not to mention, the concept of training teachers to impart ‘values’ would take a fair amount of time and overhaul of the current school system. Such a feat could take decades, calling into question just how much value such a system could have to justify the aforementioned cost.</p>

<p>Finally, race issues. The country is already embroiled in debates regarding the equality of different races. The SAT test, for example, notes score discrepancies between those of different races. The IQ test is another example of such a test. Considering the relative nature of the term ‘values’, there will be no doubt that classes that teach such values could cause the same issues mentioned above. Certain races would do ‘better’ in such classes as such classes will no doubt be tainted by a western outlook, and individual educators may even place their own spin on the lessons. A particularly troubling parallel would be how white slavemakers had used their own interpretation of the bible to justfy slavery from the 18th to 19th century. Educators and select states could use the ‘culture’ lessons to forward their own agenda, and facillitate lessons that increase the current divide among races. </p>

<p>In conclusion, making ‘values’ part of the curriculum is an ambitious but impractical notion that has far more intrincities to it that can be seen on the surface. To implement such a lesson would require a concilation between many cultures and an assumption of unbiased educators. Such a task is nearly impossible. </p>

<p>NOTE: Spelling mistakes are intentional. Please let it affect the grade. Thank y</p>

295

<p>Prompt 1: Are good choices and bad choices equally likely to have negative results?</p>

<p>Essay 1:</p>

<p>I concur with the aphorism that good choices and bad choices may equally yield results that have negative consequences. History of science shows that some people have been brought to ruin when they attempted to accomplish too lofty a goal and about an equal number have been brought down by mistakes. Einstein’s work and my personal experience with studies are prime examples.
Renowned physict, Albert Einstein, was frustrated in his middle life by a choice he made- a choice he later though of as a bad one. While working on his theories of relativity, he announced the existence of a single constant that would be key to fixing the problems in his theories- the cosmological constant. IN fact, he went so far as to call it his greatest blunder of his life. Towards the end of his life, Einstein started to to work on a theory that would unite the laws of physics into one cohesive whole- his grand unification theory. While he was criticized by many for try9ing to accomplish suck a lofty goal, he though of it as a noble and worthwhile endeavor. However, his work was plagued by frustration, which was comparable to teh frustration he felt when he tried to identify the cosmological constant. Thus , it is apparent that both good and bad choices en Einstein’s life led to similar negative effects - frustration. ( I realize now, that my language is a bit clunky and convoluted and i may have been able to better organize this paragraph)
Furthermore, the effects of good or bad choices can be made apparent even in our daily lives. When i was a sophomore, i was flippant about my math test and didn’t bother to study for it - in retrospect, a very bad decision, whose consequences were a mortifying grade. Learning from this experience, i worked like a man possessed for the next test- however this caused me to be negligent to other subjects, causing a similar consequence of a bad GPA. Thus a choice that seemed inappropriate at the time and a choice what ii felt proud of (studying assiduously for the second test) had similar negative consequences.
From a careful, crtical assessment of EInstin’s frustration with his work and my studying habits, it is indeed evident that good and bad choices and yield similar negative results. Infact, no choice, good ro bad , can imply only positive consequences.
I scored this as a 9 form my side, let me know if its accurate and how i could improve it.</p>

<p>Prompt 2: Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in authority?</p>

<p>Essay 2:</p>

<p>Can questioning authority be beneficial and even necessary? I firmly concur with the aphorism that is is indeed necessary to question the norm and authority. Science has many success stories of people who questioned authority and made groundbreaking discoveries that have forever changed how we see our world and how these discoveries have made possible things that, earlier, we could barely conceive. From newton’s questions of the geocentric view to Einstein’s question of Newton’s rigid space postulate, science clearly illustrated the importance of questioning authority.
Widely acclaimed physicist and mathematician , Sir Isaac Newton was educated first in King’s School then Trinity College, Cambridge. In the latter institute, besides studying the curriculum he was being taught, Newton kept notes on the works of the great scientists of his day. This caused him to remain aware of the scientific revolution that that was in full swing in Europe. At Cambridge, he was taught the geocentric view of the solar system: that the sun orbits the Earth. However, Newton noted inconsistencies which he was able to identify with the help of the aforementioned alternate set of notes which he maintained and through their help, propounded the theory of Gravitation - a theory suggesting that the sun was the center of the solar system (the heliocentric view). Needless to say, the theory wasn’t well received my many, especially the religious (who , at the time, were the authority), however, it explained motion so fully that it forever changed out understanding of our solar system (now allowing us to send satellites into space). It its thus apparent that if Newton had not questioned the geocentric view established by the powerful Aristotle, he wouldn’t have been able to conceive gravitation as we know it today.
Along similar lines, physicist Einstein questioned the postulate proposed by Newton - that space is a rigid entity (i.e it remains constant) whilst the speed of light is relative. However, Einstein questioned both these well propounded theories in is 1905 paper on relativity and established that space is forever expanding or contracting and that the speed of light is constant. This was perhaps the most groundbreaking discovery of the 10th century which rocked the foundations of physics and gave us one of the most famous equations “e = mc^2”. Thus, had Einstein not questioned newton’s authority of space we wouldn’t have had sucha profound understanding of physics and the universe.
From a critical analysis of Einstein and Newton, it is apparent that questioning authority is indeed essential to breakthroughs and can be rewarding. (At this point i ran out of space)</p>

296

<p>@enaragon‌ </p>

<p>The essay should get a 11 or 12.
I’m not sure whether it will get a 12 or not because although you have used good examples and have presented them very well, I couldn’t find a concrete example that has been explained in detail.</p>

<p>Still, your essay is extremely well written. Keep it up!</p>

<p>P.S. I can see around 550 words in that. I highly doubt whether you’ll be able to fit that much in two pages. Try cutting down to 450 words.</p>

297

<p>@WackyPanda‌ </p>

<p>Even I think you should get a 9 for your 1st essay. </p>

<p>Tips: 1. Use three examples.
2. No need to affirm your position in the starting. Remove the 'I concur with the aphorism that '.
3. Increase length. Any essay below 400 words has very few chances of getting a double digit score.</p>

<p>I think essay no.2 should get an 8.</p>

<p>Tips:

  1. Same as above.
  2. Same as above.
  3. Don’t start your essay with a question. It seems like counter questioning. Rhetorical questions can be put somewhere else other than the first para.
  4. Try to use examples from different fields. Einstein and Newton are both scientifically oriented examples. Try putting 1 scientific, 1 literary and 1 current affairs/history. </p>
298

<p>Increase length? I’m already running out of space :confused: . The question thing was something i learned from sparknotes but i think i can get rid of that. Would examples form recent breakthroughs in computers/hardware be appropriate? I’m and international student and have never been taught literature. The only “literature” i can use is Lord of the Rings. Even my history is kinda shaky, i can only relate to the Vietnam war or maybe Gandhi. Will it really make an astronomical difference if i use 2 vs 3 examples?</p>

299

<p>Wrote this before i got your advice, therefore the question at the beginning, but i hope this is an improvement. I desperately need that 11.
Prompt: Can success be disastrous?</p>

<p>Essay:</p>

<p>Can premature success result in more bad than good? Recent events and Literature clearly illustrate the potential disastrous nature of success. Success often causes flippancy and overconfidence - qualities which can be disastrous to the continuation of success. Recently , AMD, a manufacturer of computer hardware lost its market because of its overconfidence. Similarly, success instills an overconfidence in a protagonist of the epic ‘Lord of the Rings’ , causing him to almost die.
In 2010, Advanced Micro Devices (AMD) Revealed its capable “GCN” Architecture for graphics chips. GCN was a resounding success; the GCN-based HD 7970 took over the market as the best graphics chip money can buy and annihilated its competitor - nVidia. However, about 2 years later, nVidia released a flurry of capable graphics chips which flooded the market based on outstanding performance to price value (although the HD 7970 was still king). However, AMD did nothing as nVidia stull hadn’t given it reason for concern. Little did AMD know that nVidia planned to release the titan of graphics chips (aptly named the GeForce GTX Titan). Upon its release , nVidia had not only perfected and advanced its new architecture (Maxwell), it had also announced its next release (Pascal). Meanwhile, AMD was stuck with it sold GCN architecture and lost its market. Just today, it had to reduce it s price on everything by 30-50% just to STAY in the market. It was further slighted when it rebranded its GCN as a new architecture (in its R7/R9 series) and tried to sell it. Thus, AMD’s success was infact disastrous and let to it’s eventual demise.
Similarly, in Lord of the Rings, protagonist Faramir was made overconfident by his success in the battlefield (when he defeated the Haradrim forces, rescuing and helping Frodo, who was central to Faramir’s cause) and returned to his city a hero. However, his father though otherwise and disdained his victory. Slighted, Faramir, drunk with his his recent success, rushed t take back a crucial outpost to prove to his father that he was worthy. When he assaulted the outpost, he was met by stiff resistance and not only did he fail to capture the outpost, he was almost killed in the attempt and lost even the vestige of his father’s appreciation (who later committed suicide by self-immolation). Evidently, Faramir’s success was ultimately disastrous.
From a critical analysis of AMD’s failure and Faramir’s losses, it is indeed apparent that premature success can instill a false confidence what can be disastrous, and lead to more bad than good.</p>

<p>i had about 2 lines left at this point, didn’t see how i could continue it.</p>

300

<p>This new essay is of appropriate size.</p>

<p>Use those 2 lines at the end also. I wrote my October SAT essay squeezing into even the line below the line (but still inside the box). I got a 12.</p>

<p>Examples from recent breakthroughs would be appropriate.</p>

<p>If you don’t know any good book, make one. I used the example of John Gladwell’s ‘Resolution’ in my Oct SAT. No author of such name exists.</p>

<p>And although astronomical is a big word, huge is the correct word to describe the difference between 2 vs 3 examples. I have seen flawless essays getting a 10 or 11 with two examples and mediocre essays getting a 12 with 3 examples.</p>

<p>As far as history is concerned, make some story of how Vietnamese did ___________________ during their war and how that event bolsters your argument.</p>

<p>Your new essay should receive a 11. Transitions, descriptions and relevance are perfect.</p>

<p>Tips:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>A little lesser techy stuff in the first example would be good. Remember, those are old English professors reading your essay. Not some young geek.</p></li>
<li><p>Avoid so many brackets. The one in the first line of LOR example is too long. If you must, then use the em-dash to include such lines.</p></li>
</ol>