Comments on my SAT essay? Thanks!

Hi - thanks for reading this! Any comments would be awesome, or even a mark!


QUESTION:
Sometimes it is necessary to challenge what people in authority claim to be true. Although some respect for authority is, no doubt, necessary in order for any group or organisation to function, questioning the people in charge - even if they are experts or leaders in their fields - makes us better thinkers. It forces all concerned to defend old ideas and decisions and to consider new ones. Sometimes it can even correct old errors in thought and put an end to wrong actions.

Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority?

I believe that there is no doubt that questioning the ideas and decisions of leaders is of paramount importance. Firstly, this ties in very closely with the idea of democracy that we cherish particularly in the West. Without challenging and questioning what people in authority say, a country can easily tumble into a Soviet-era type of governance; with citizens too afraid to speak up or complain.

Not only in the past, this lack of freedom has parallels in the present day. Russia’s Vladimir Putin is commonly seen claiming many things, mostly against America and the West. It is definitely important to question and challenge what he believes is true. Are there Russian soldiers in Ukraine when he claims there are none? That is up to us to decide, but we must judge, and not take in information without considering the possibilities.

Perhaps on a lower scale, questioning expert opinions is what has driven us forward technologically. Questioning discoveries led us to many inventions, be it Rutherford’s model of the atom, or within the realm of quantum physics; discussing the location of an electron. Furthermore, it is peer marking, albeit amongst experts, that decides which research is valid and holds merit.

Not being single minded, but open to new ideas certainly makes us better thinkers as we learn to evaluate the world and make our own decisions. However, there are clearly times where strict obedience may be necessary. One such example is in the military. Clearly, having orders questioned constantly would not be productive.

Moreover, school is another example that perhaps stands between there two distinct sides of the argument. Although obedience to a teacher is essential, I believe it is the school’s responsibility to get their students to think critically.

While it is certainly important to keep an open mind and always evaluate what occurs around you, it is also important to keep it in perspective, and to choose the right course of action depending on the situation.

(23 minutes).

this is good, but try using fewer paragraphs. I used 4 paragraphs (1 intro, 2 body, one conclusion and got an 11 on my essay.

thank you!

Any other ideas? Thank you in advance!

My primary tip is to write much faster. Longer essays almost always confer better scores than short ones. Organization is overrated and should remain a secondary aspiration. The primary goal should be to exude intellectual creativity by inventing arguments that deviate significantly from formulaic and hackneyed platitudes. Learn some advanced vocabulary, apply it often and refine your grammar. Practice rambling at a faster pace, sparing a few minutes to correct hasty oversights at the end.

One very simple tip: eliminate the first two words of your essay