<p>I think you should let her transfer for spring semester. She didn’t want to go to the school originally, but you pressured her into going. She doesn’t like the school, which is understandable because it wasn’t her choice. She gave it a shot, now let her move on.</p>
<p>^Great idea from momofthreeboys - this is a good first step and a real possibility. I would rule out transfer merit first before making any other decision. </p>
<p>There is a difference between poor fit and difficulty adjusting. It just is hard to tell which it is. Over time adjustment gets better but poor fit rarely does. IMHO poor fit - work out a reasonable strategy for leaving/difficulty adjusting - do everything possible to encourage them to stay.</p>
<p>A few other things to consider when transferring mid-year are whether the classes she’d want to take at the new school still have space available for spring and, if she stays at the original school and plans to transfer in the fall, are her spring classes likely to transfer? It’s aggravating for a student to spend a whole semester working hard and find that half of their credits won’t be transferred.</p>
<p>I have one transferring Freshman year spring semester. He only went to state school B to transfer into state school A due to the fact that school A has his major. Unfortunately State school A still doesn’t have room for him at main campus so he will spend at least the next semester commuting to their satellite branch. Son is so happy to be working toward his ultimate degree that he is more than happy to commute for now to get it. I might add that he did not really make any connections at all at state school B, due in part to his refusal to drink like there is no tomorrow.
It is my fault that he was not commuting to the satellite to begin with, because I thought he would make the adjustment to school B and wanted him to have the whole dorm experience, and therefore encouraged him to try it there before transferring.</p>
<p>I would say she should stay until the end of the year, for a couple of reasons. First, I agree, most college freshmen are homesick and the grass always looks greener at home. If I had had my way I would have transferred out of my college 2 weeks after I got there, but by April I was happy as could be. Second, I would worry about classes being full for the spring semester too. Finally, I think about what one of my friends told her son when he left for college. She said, “Just come home with 30 credits. If you hate it we’ll re-evaluate it, but come home with 30 credits”. I just think all kids need time to settle in. She’ll learn a lot by staying the full year. Just an opinion…</p>
<p>*Last Spring, **she was offered several academic scholarships to mid-tier **schools that she initially was interested in, but my wife and I were willing to – and can pay for, assuming our finances remain stable – pay for the better school and she went, **although she would have preferred to go to that school close to home…Dad told daughter he’s not paying for the mid-tier school **. *</p>
<p>Sounds like prestige-chasing parents (or father) caused this problem and now dad is trying to dig his heels in by refusing to pay for what would have been a cheaper choice before (with merit). Since you can afford the higher-tier school, you can afford the mid-tier school. Of course if your D agrees to the state school, that’s fine, too. But, you do need to “man up” and take responsibility that you created this situation. Your D didn’t.</p>
<p>You could contact the mid-tier school and ask if a scholarship is still available. It probably won’t be, but I have heard of a few schools that will cooperate.</p>
<p>Yikes, she wanted to go to closer, mid-tier school on THEIR dime, and you talked her into going to upper-tier school 1000 miles away on your dime? And now she is unhappy. And you won’t pay for tuition at the mid-tier school, the one that offered her a scholarship that she declined on your arm-twisting? </p>
<p>Normally I would say she needs to stick out the year. But this is more your mess than hers. Your use of the word PRESTIGIOUS in the original post says it all. </p>
<p>SHE SHOULD CALL the original mid-tier school about whether they would still honor their offer. But I am not sure you will pass on that recommendation. </p>
<p>Sorry to be so honest. But you got her into this mess. You did more TALKING and not enough LISTENING during the process. I suspect this is one of those “my money my decision” kinda situations. But you have to consider HER future. It is her education. And her happiness. Refusing to pay for the mid-tier school is something SHE WILL CARRY WITH HER FOR A LIFETIME. You want that?</p>
<p>I understand people who advise sticking it out because I know some freshmen do change their minds about a school after the second semester but since it sounds like your child went to her school at your urging you should thanks her for giving it a try and let her transfer as soon as possible. Her amazing HS stats are not going to do her any good next year. The sooner, the better. Another thing to consider is that she may have a very good reason for not liking her school but has not chosen to share it with you. I was just talking with a mom today who told me at her son’s Ivy school that there are two groups: the binge-drinking party till you throw up group and the kids who have their nose in the books at all times. No middle ground. Maybe it is too competitive and the pressure is building up on her. The boyfriend situation isn’t ideal but that will probably pass soon enough. Have her talk to the Dean of Students, explain that she thinks she might be happier at the school closer to home, and ask if she can take a leave of absence for a year while taking classes at the mid tier school. I talked to someone whose child actually did this and went back to the original school after a year. Bottom line: it’s our money but it is their decision. We can choose to support their decision or not but we cannot MAKE them feel or be any different than they are.</p>
<p>While it is true that some kids are unhappy first semester and then find their place during second semester, sometimes they really know after a few months – even after a few weeks – that this school isn’t right for them. Haven’t we all been in situations where we know almost immediately that this isn’t going to work? I think you have to know your kid to figure out whether this is someone who just isn’t trying and wants to be back home with the boyfriend, or really isn’t fitting in.</p>
<p>Based on the information in the original post, I’d let her transfer. </p>
<p>I’ve known several kids who transferred after first semester for legitimate reasons, and were very happy they did.</p>
<p>Do check on the scholarship. One of DD’s schools actually told her in a letter after she turned them down that the scholarship offer would stay open for one year if she changed her mind.</p>
<p>There actually is a chance that the school that she wants to go to may still offer her the scholarship. A top 30 university that really wanted older S told him that when he turned down their offer to go to another school (that incidentally wasn’t as highly ranked). </p>
<p>Considering that the OP’s D wants to go from a highly ranked school to a less highly ranked school, there’s a good chance that the less highly ranked school would continue to be happy to accept her and would offer her the scholarship again. The OP’s D needs to check into this.</p>