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<p>I think this is where the strenght of their high schools come to play. Students from easier high school will have Cs/Bs vs students from more competitive high schools.</p>
<p>Your S may already be addressing this on his own.</p>
<p>When my S struggled in one course each of his first two terms at a tough school (sophomore transfer), this usually reticent son did tell us. He was worried. This gave us the opportunity to advise - which it turns out we didn’t really need to do. To my amazement, he had already visited prof ofc hours, found a new study partner, ordered a different text from the one the prof used… In other words, he was handling it on his own. But he was still very worried and feared his efforts wouldn’t pull him through.</p>
<p>What we did was let him know that we were in his court and that we’d be happy to see him just pass each of these courses. Just pass. I think that lifted a weight off of his shoulders - the fear that he would let us down. He eked out a C+ in each of those classes - this kid who had never seen anything lower than an A-/B+ even in college.</p>
<p>I’m bringing all of this up to agree with you and others that sometimes they need to learn - through that mid-term grade experience - what it takes to the get the A’s and B’s in their new academic environment. And if they are motivated (and it doesn’t sound like you have worries about your son’s motivation), they will re-group most likely.</p>
<p>If he is not motivated, too much into the social life… then that is a different type of problem. Involves asking if he is attending all (ALL) class sessions, etc.</p>
<p>I don’t know what GPA your S needs to retain the scholarhip. Even with those C+ grades once each term, S never had a term GPA lower than a 3.0. And his overall GPA, now in his senior year, is quite a bit higher than that.</p>
<p>I do think that you can find a way, following others’ suggestions, to check in with him on how it’s going. See if he needs help. See if he needs your support and vote of confidence. IDK if my S would ever have used an organizer or agenda, if I’d gotten him one. But if you are able to chat your with yours, you might be able to figure out what would help.</p>
<p>As a footnote: the midterm grades may not be curved as yet. Some faculty only seem to curve the final grade. So, depending on the class average where he has the C or D… the ultimate grade may be different.</p>
<p>Perhaps a little time spent at RateMyProfessor.com would help in finding out about the curve situation.</p>
<p>Just in case any of you are curious how this turned out–here is an update.</p>
<p>S came home very late last night and had to be back to campus today at 7, but we had some time alone shopping and then the two hour car trip, so we did get a chance to talk. </p>
<p>I took a lot of the advice offered here, and asked just general questions, and the answers he gave were specific enough that I feel like he’s managing things. He’s very happy with his living situation and said he’d like to continue in the Honor’s community next year as well, so I think that will motivate him to keep up with things. I feel like I gave him the opportunity to address any fears or concerns, and he seemed very calm and comfortable about the subject of grades. I think if he were worried or stressed he would show it at least a little. </p>
<p>The thing is, I feel like I should’ve learned this parenting lesson about 6,000 times by now, and it doesn’t seem to sink in. His old high school had a system that I could get online and look at his grades, and more than once I saw something horrifying, and spent a day or night fretting until I could question him. It usually turned out to be absolutely nothing. I’m going to quit looking, because what can I do about it anyway? </p>
<p>Thanks!</p>
<p>Thanks for the update. I love happy endings.</p>
<p>Now someone tell me how to nag my D into thanking her last year’s chem teacher for a great rec. that helped D get an internship… without letting D know I know or how i know that she even <em>asked</em> the teacher for one… </p>
<p>Sending thankyou notes in care package best I can do I guess… LOL</p>
<p>Just received access info in yesterday’s mail for PowerSchool Parent Portal for S2 (hs junior). Based on my experience accessing S1’s grades last year, I’m nervous about signing up. Maybe at this point even in S’s high school career, I really don’t want to know interim grades, test grades, homework, etc. He’s always handled it all himself, with a bare minimum of reminder nagging. So I’m sitting here contemplating whether to sign up and wondering whether it would be the second thing I check everyday, after CC!</p>
<p>I don’t have access to college grades, nor do I care to look for them, but I do have access to HS and MS grades. My kids usually ask me to check so they can see how they are doing. We do look at them frequently, as quiz scores, etc are usually there before they are returned to the kids, and they like to know how they are doing.</p>
<p>Well, I’m kind of the other direction than some of you… I have personally seen the grief that comes from a lost scholarship and having to leave the school. Our ds is on scholarship, too and I just plainly said, “Look, son, you are on scholarship and you know we don’t have the money to keep you there without it. What were your midterm grades?” </p>
<p>My ds isn’t used to deadlines that don’t move when life gets crazy (we homeschooled him), so I encouraged him to set up a Google calendar (accessible from anywhere!) with all his assignments and classes on it. He’s done that and I think it has really helped him. His midterms, thankfully, were fine.</p>
<p>My s’s school used Edline, and more than once it appeared he was failing a class because a teacher entered the data incorrectly. I feel like looking at it took a few years off my life. I finally stopped looking unless I knew he was home and available for discussion because it was such an unreliable source. </p>
<p>My s also handled his work himself, and my husband and I had a discussion about it senior year because my husband had a habit of asking, “Do you have all your homework done?” I could see my son grimace every time he said it. I finally pointed out that it had been years since we even knew what his homework was, let alone actually helped with it or looked it over. He’d been getting good grades all along, so it was really time to shut up about it. </p>
<p>Junior year is really the critical year for grades because that’s the GPA that goes on the college apps. Not that you can completely fall apart senior year, but I think it’s not uncommon for senior grades to dip a little. </p>
<p>T</p>
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<p>That was precisely the case here. After incessantly nagging S1 (we needed to) throughout HS, we’ve pretty much laid off of S2. He’s heard it all before and is a much different student: harder working, more focused, etc…or was up until this point.</p>
<p>I did sign up yesterday to see his grades and imagine my horror to see a C+ for the first quarter grade in French IV; horror that was only compounded by the string of Fs in homework assignments; frustrated by the sight of many many A+s when homework was actually turned in. This from a NHS member taking all honors and AP classes.</p>
<p>NOT looking forward to the subsequent parental intervention. But gotta do it.</p>
<p>I think it is a different story with college than high school. And even different yet when your child is on scholarship. I know I am a little paranoid because S1 didn’t do well at his first college and is now a year behind because of credits lost in the transfer.(He is paying for his 5th year.) When S2 went off to college this fall, my first instinct was to go and check out his grades. I have and since held back…but it’s tough. My daughter, who is out of college, keeps telling me to relax, but as moms being concerned is part of our job.</p>
<p>Also, when kids are in high school, especially seniors, they sometimes need a light parental push. I know my S2 did as he contracted a little senioritis when the first college acceptance arrived…and then one or two other times during the year. He still needed to send his first semester grades to his first choice schools and was taking 3 APs, so he knew he needed to keep up his grades. I think if you have a kid who is motivated and works hard, it is as much of a shock to them as it is to you to see that C. It’s pretty sobering for both. I remember when D1 got her first C ever as a college junior, I heard her screaming at the computer. She pointed to the C and kept saying, “What IS that thing?” Welcome to reality!</p>
<p>After reading that comment about the “pain and grief of a lost scholarship” I decided maybe I’ll just send a casual e-mail asking about the grades. There really is too much at risk. I think if he actually did blow it and I’d done next to nothing then I’ll regret not making the effort. If he doesn’t open up about it, then there isn’t much I can do other than make general reminders about keeping in touch with professors etc. I’ll let you all know what happens next.</p>
<p>Last night my s volunteered on the phone that he had done poorly on a test and that was the only grade in that class for midterms, but that he had met with the professor and he thought he’d knocked it out of the park on the next test. It was very reassuring to hear him volunteer that he hadn’t done well and also that he was addressing it. He’s also looking into creating his own major and sounds like he’s on top of it all.</p>