<p>Ds told me his mid-quarter grade in a math class. I manage to keep my cool as he assures me this is "passing" and maybe even a "B" but I don't know this for a fact. He comes from a small rural high school and all his suitemates came from better high schools and are in a higher level math. They assure him this is a really hard sequence in his particular level and it will get better. I want him to keep confiding in me, so I try to offer constructive advice and tell him we'll pay for tutoring, etc. I don't act shocked. He doesn't call home very often and just happened to mention it in passing like it was no big deal. He says it's very, very hard. Everything has come very easy for him in the past. </p>
<p>He's always taken lots of pride in his academic abilities and has always worked hard. I have no way to tell long-distance if he is working it his hardest or if he is finding the social life distracting.</p>
<p>Is anybody else in my situation? This is an area he thought he wanted to major in and he's making this kind of grade?!?! How do you walk the line between supportive and pressuring too much?</p>
<p>It is very very common for students who've done well in high school to get the first Bs in their lives in the fall of their freshman year. For some, it's because they were too busy partying. For others, they took classes that were more challenging than they were used to. It's the third week of classes here, and students in the freshmen multivariable math classes are still re-arranging themselves among the three levels of difficulty, though study cards had to be turned in over ten days ago. I believe more switching from one class to another is anticipated over the next couple of weeks as students realize how difficult the more advanced classes are.</p>
<p>At this point, I would not worry if your S got a B or even lower (it's true it may be hard to tell if students are given numeric scores but no real idea about what these scores correspond to in terms of letter grades). If he finds the coursework too challenging over the rest of the year, he may reconsider his choice of major. After all, students do not have to declare their major until later, precisely because the freshman experience leads many to change their earlier plans.</p>
<p>EDIT: You don't have to pay for tutors. Most math departments run math help centers staffed by upperclassmen or graduate students. Encourage your son as well to join a study group and to ask help from TAs or profs.</p>
<p>College math is very different from HS math, and kids who loved math in HS sometimes struggle with it in college. </p>
<p>If your son is not in denial, and is working hard, but can't get top grades, so be it. Be supportive, encourage him to use the resources his school has to offer - tutoring, TA sessions, office hours, and it will all work out.</p>
<p>I am upset because the percentage is below 50% yet he assures me this is "passing" and a "C" or maybe even a "B". He's never had below 50% grades. I have the impression he's not really certain where he is on the letter grade scale, but he thinks it's a "C" or maybe a "B". When expressed in letter term grades I'm not so upset. I'm sure he'll know more when we see him in a couple weeks. It's a learning experience for us all. I know he has to find his own way and work all this out. I'm just wondering if I have any company among the parents. :-)</p>
<p>Without knowing the intent of the prof, it's hard to draw conclusions from the percentage. The profs of the various freshman math classes at H have deliberately set out hard problems to encourage students to drop down to a lower level of difficulty (which is why there is so much movement still). </p>
<p>It is possible that this is what your son should do if he feels he is struggling. There's no shame in this. Indeed, many students who took AP-Calc repeat the class in college. I would thus suggest that you ask your son whether he thinks it is a good idea for him to drop down a level where he might be more comfortable. Please present it as a realistic solution if he feels overwhelmed; he may be afraid of disappointing you if he does. He really should not.</p>
<p>And as I said earlier, it is very very common for top highschoolers to get a wake-up call with their first set of grades in college.</p>
<p>We want our kids to get into the best possible schools. Those with strong academics, other very strong students and schools that will stimulate ... and challenge .... our kids. That should mean that the work is hard and we won't be seeing the A's the kids got so easily in high school. </p>
<p>Mine has more than her share of challenge. First semester of freshman year, her B in calculus somehow turned into a C. Second semester, she put in more effort and thought she would get a strong B. Somehow that turned into a C minus as a final grade. Math will be the basis for everything she wants to do with physics and engineering. This year she at least understands that high school was too easy. She did not develop all of the study and learning skills she needed to cope with serious academics. She is working even harder this year and is less proud about getting help when she needs it. The first exams are next week. We have our fingers crossed, but if she is still struggling that won't be all that bad. We got our wish, she was admitted into a reach school that will challenge her.</p>
<p>momoffive it is entirely possible that in a difficult class the numeric grades will be curved. For example, If the prof regards the highest average in the class, say an 82%, to basically function like a perfect score or 100 percent, then your son's numeric score may have 18% added to it off the bat. It's possible he is telling the truth and you probably dont want to "grill" him for info. I am pretty accepting that my daughter's grades will likely not be what they were in high school and I am ok with that. Some of her classes are quite difficult and I would even think the B to C range would be acceptable for such classes. I really do want her to have the entire, rich college experience. Of course we want her to have an education and make good grades but there are other things I think that are very important for her to have in her college lifestyle. Above all, I am grateful that she loves her school so far and has already made many friends.</p>
<p>I think I would be reacting to a "50", also because I don't know what that means. In high school- that ain't good.;) In college that could be an A. </p>
<p>I have a friend who is taking what for her is a tough psych class and a calculus class her first semester. In the psych class she supposedly has 212 points accumulated and in Calculus she's making an 8. That's how it's posted on Blackboard (or whatever that is called). Her father is beside himself as his D has no idea what these numbers mean. A or F. His D won't ask the prof, or at least hasn't. He calls the softball coach (they are personal friends) and the softball coach says , "every prof here does it their own way and there is absolutely zero consistency".</p>
<p>but cgm, she doesn't know it's not an F. If it is an F drop/add is either here right now or already gone. I think it's legit to be concerned of failing, but unless the kid is on scholarship needing to make a certain GPA, I wouldn't be worried about the A, B, or C at this point. But an F? Yeah, I'd be worried about an F when he says he's doing his best and working hard.</p>
<p>Unfortunately my D's scholarship leaves no room for an F. She'll be home if she pulled a F (or even a D) this semester, even if the rest were A's and B's.</p>
<p>Actually..... this is college. So it's time for parents to back off and let the students figure it out for themselves. </p>
<p>To Momoffive -- this is part of the learning process with college, and even if your son has a problem with the class, it is not the end of the world. I think you were right to keep your cool and keep things positive -- from here on out I would suggest that you don't bring it up unless he mentions it. </p>
<p>Keep in mind that even if he does poorly on an early test, it might not be that important overall in terms of the final grade. I remember when my son told me he had flunked the first exam in his Japanese class, because he had been confused about the date of the test, so he hadn't prepared -- just showed up in class one day and there was a test (surprise!). Well, he got an A in the class. </p>
<p>Most colleges do have tutoring or support services available for the students, so you probably don't have to pay for extra tutoring if your son wants it.</p>
<p>I remember the university my S attends sending a letter to us telling us to brace ourselves for the Cs (the first he may have ever seen as they put it) we would likely be seeing during his first year. This year they sent a letter saying don't be surprised even though your kid did well last year if he/she goes into the tank this year; the 2nd year often trips students up. In a strange way it was a little comforting to know the school considered it normal if that familiar A was replaced with a C.</p>
<p>An F or D would be a concern, it might be good to inquire as to how he knows the grade may be a C or a B? Also, as mentioned earlier, there is usually help provided by the school if a student needs it.</p>
Actually..... I don't think ice floe is always the best solution for every kid calmom, but if it works for yours - have it at. Just don't preach to me. I ain't in the choir. I think reasonable parents could differ on their approach to this , and they seem to be doing just that on this thread. ;)</p>
<p>Curmudgeon--I'd be suprised if the syllabi for those courses of your friend's D don't explain the point system for grading. On the other hand, I wouldn't be surprised if the student hasn't looked at the syllabus since the first day of class (I know mine don't). </p>
<p>That being said, as an instructor I don't have the patience to make Blackboard do what I want with grades, so I don't use the Gradebook part. But I'm putting letter grades on essays, so a student should have a reasonable idea where he or she is in my class just by looking at what's handed back to them. I do like it for students to know where they stand, and could never run a class where a curve at the end would change things, for good or bad.</p>
<p>Momoffive:
You might not see as many commiseraters (is that a word?) on here as you'd expect simply because a lot of us probably do not know anything about our kids' midterm grades. </p>
<p>I don't even ask my son about his grades - BUT I know if they were bad, I'd hear about it because he'd lose his scholarship and that would be obvious.</p>
<p>Although it's most likely that your son's grades are a tad low because of all the reasons mentioned on here, I'd try to get clues as to whether or not he's partying. If he is he might need a reminder that he is not at camp. (And I'm not saying that is the case - just that lots of kids don't figure that out until it's too late.)</p>
<p>Momoffive, I sympathize with you. After so many years of having websites to consult about every 10/10 quiz grade (or why was it 8/10?), it is really strange to have no idea whether my daughter is doing anything she "should" be doing. It is hard to just sit back and wait to see how it turns out, but that is what I am trying to do. I know that for her, after so many years of being at the top, it must be terrifying to fear that she is suddenly at the bottom and to really have no idea. So all I can do is keep my cool and not feed that fear.</p>
<p>momoffive, there's some good advice from the previous posters. Our son's school also sent a letter home in the middle of the year letting parents know that many students in the college don't get the straight A's they did in HS. </p>
<p>I will admit, though, that I was really shocked at my son's first B. It was in a class that I thought should have been a solid A for him. I now understand better how difficult the math and science classes are at his school. He's very bright, but so are all of the other kids.</p>
<p>The best advice is to be supportive, and suggest tutoring or academic support services through the school, if he's willing to listen. I find as my kids get older that what they usually want is for me to listen while they figure out what they want to do by talking it through.</p>
<p>I haven't seen any grades yet but my son assures me everything is under control and he is learning time management skills (the ones he never had in HS.)</p>
<p>I am just being supportive and waiting to see what happens. He knows full well if he tanks, he loses his scholarship and comes home to Plan B (excellent state school.) So I have confidence in him.</p>
<p>I really think most of us are saying generally the same thing-don't expect grades to be at their previous high school level. Don't sweat a less than A grade at mid-term or otherwise. Let the kid find their own way while suggesting they take advantage of all "help" functions the school has in place to deal with these very situations. Offer encouragement and support but don't take over the process. </p>
<p>Those of us with kids with grade dependent scholarships may be rightfully more concerned than others about "progress reports" and grading scales that are not familiar or even comphrehensible, but that doesn't mean that we are looking over the kid's shoulder or not letting them grow-up. </p>
<p>The pressures are different than on full-payor or need-based families, so it would make sense that there would be some differences in both concern and approach. As I often say - one size fits all parenting is just bad parenting. One size fits all advice is just bad advice. </p>
<p>This is one of the great negatives that counterbalance the great positives of merit awards that are contingent on grades. The freedom to fail is not there for our kids, at least not if they want to go back for the spring. That's a luxury our kids don't have. As a family we knew that going in and like others have a state school back-up plan. If she failed would that be the end of the world? No. She'd pick herself up, dust herself off, and climb back on another horse. But it most certainly would be another horse. </p>
<p>A word to parents of juniors (and below) , this is why it is critical to factor into the equation grade distribution/inflation and rigidity of the scholarship benchmarks when comparing merit awards. It is not a bad idea to ask this question- what percentage of merit awardees lose their scholarships due to grades? It is also important to address grace periods and the like, especially for those scholarships with big gpa requirements.</p>