<p>OK, orientation won't be for a couple of months, but I thought I'd ask and get other parents' thoughts/experiences.</p>
<p>My daughter will be starting college and it is close enough for us to drive her there, but far enough away that it'll take us about 4-5 hours to get home again. Dorms open on a Sunday; orientation program for freshmen begins on the Monday.</p>
<p>My guess is that my daughter's desire to have us stick around once we get there will depend on whether other parents are spending the day helping their students settle in or if other parents are tending to drop off and leave. What do most parents do? </p>
<p>Back when I started college, my parents didn't drive - they put me on a bus and I was on my own - but it seemed to me that most other students had their families around much of that first day. My personal inclination would probably be to stay until carried off :), but I want to know what the "norm" is.</p>
<p>unbelievablem, I think it will depend upon the family . Your bus ticket sounds vaguely familiar, though . My family was the sentimental kind , also.</p>
<p>I remember leaving home with all my worldly possessions : a stereo, three pair of Levi's, some t-shirts, various small medical devices, and an unopened six-pack of Hanes jockey briefs, all in an army duffel and all in my bright red Formula Vee Karmann Ghia. I felt so cool :cool: . I waved goodbye to the folks. I certainly began my college journey well equipped for success.</p>
<p>My parents were at the back door, arms around each other's back, very Walton-esque as their Jon-boy headed off, still waving as I drove away. It almost seemed as if their waves were pushing me a little further away each time. Around the back of the house , down the very long U shaped drive, past the barn and the pecan grove and out to the blacktop road I went. I entered life's highway with a left turn towards my future , apropos and somewhat foretelling , and an energetic chirp! from the tires of my 70hp Karmann.</p>
<p>I looked over at my childhood home one last time as a child. And directly at my mother and father dragging my mattress from my room. My colorfully mismatched sheets billowed spinnaker large in the stiff Georgia breeze. I stopped in the middle of that highway and watched my parents sail that mattress over to the garbage pickup area and into my memory. Forever.</p>
<p>My parents drove me, as did just about everyone's. My mother cried the whole 4 hours down, and my dad said after they helped me carry my stuff up and get set up, she cried all the way back down. They were there to pick me up and haul everything home. This happened for three years until I got my own car my senior year, and I drove myself. None of my friends had cars until the graduated from college. I will certainly be there the whole day for my daughter. Since she is flying (too far to drive) she needs me and the extra 2 suitcase allotment. LOL. Plus, she is too young to get a rental car to go shopping for the necessaries after we arrive. We can only carry so much on the plane. Storage over the summer will not make me necessary the next 3 years, but knowing my D, she will want me along just to help her get settled next year, as well. Then, who knows?????</p>
<p>cur: You could turn that sentimentality into a great short story of why you are the curmudgeon you are today!</p>
<p>My parents drove me, their first born, the six hours from podunk town to big city LA. I was very grateful for their help in unloading my worldly possessions and getting the stuff up five floors on the elevator. When that task was done, and I had already become best buddies with my roommate and another girl from next door, I was pretty rude in telling them I didn't need anything more and "see ya".</p>
<p>Well, what goes around, comes around. Both my kids couldn't wait for us to leave. We had done all the shopping before move-in and for each drop off they both said they'd take care of anything else that might come up. I wanted to help make beds and do what I considered to be motherly, helpful tasks, but my H was the wise one tugging on my arm to get the heck out of there and leave the kid alone. We got the terse "see ya later" and quick hug.</p>
<p>So, unbelievablem, be prepared to be kicked out quickly. Hopefully your D's school will have some activities for parents so you'll feel better about being close by for that one last day.</p>
<p>With our older son we drove him to college--12 hours drive away. Dh and I stayed with a friend nearby, while son got settled in his dorm. We took him out shopping for a few things he needed, left him at the college for the rest of the day, took him out for dinner, then left him on his own. Oh, wait, there was a house meeting to which parents were invited the first night. Then they had an official "say good-bye" time with the unsubtle hint that it was time for parents to be gone. I remember now...</p>
<p>Since he doesn't have a car, we have driven him down each year since (or husband has, if I had to be home for younger son), but we leave soon after he gets settled in.</p>
<p>Younger son will be a plane flight away. We still intend to fly out with him and stay a couple days, so we can help him buy all those things he didn't want to have to ship over. Then we may take a couple days to see the sights before flying home and leaving son alone. He will be fine, I am sure. Not so sure I will be!</p>
<p>Some schools have orientation events specifically for parents--these are usually over well before student orientation is. My suggestion would be to check the orientation materials and see what's planned (if anything) for parents. Those sessions can be interesting, informative and also reassuring in that it is fun to meet other parents and nice to get a further sense of the school where your child will be starting a new part of his/her life. Regarding driving etc., my experience with our two children is that the colleges were full of parents helping to unload kids' possessions from cars--and the cars often had license plates from far-away states. So I'd probably say drive, but be prepared to spend limited time with your freshman once the new college life has started--you can be there without hovering or getting in the way, and driving there gives you the flexibility be as available or as absent as seems appropriate. Even if there are no parent events planned, if motel rooms are still available you might book one for the night after dorms open so you don't have to drive home late and night when you are tired after helping move stuff in--chains usually let you cancel until at least the day before the planned stay and often until the afternoon of the reservation itself. </p>
<p>Incidentally, I think times have changed since many of us went away to school--my parents just put me on a train with a couple of suitcases and never visited the school until graduation, but that does not seem to be the norm (at least among people I know) anymore, even for parents whose children's schools are a full day's drive or a plane ride away.</p>
<p>Curmudgeon - that was priceless - run that over to the awards thread ASAP. </p>
<p>I like the middle ground drop-off (not literally). I think every school has events for parents, so you do have a reason to be present. You go along, help your kid move in, see to some financial/housekeeping details, attend your events and if all goes well at some point your child will tell you (s)he no longer needs you.</p>
<p>As for me, I walked straight onto the jetway in my Kalso earth shoes carrying a portable Smith Corona typewriter and flew away to the future (now the past).</p>
<p>I've already booked the hotel for Sunday night. But I think I'm preparing myself for having dinner alone with my husband!<br>
My husband still recalls how upset he was when he took her to kindergarten orientation and she ran in without so much as a backwards glance!</p>
<p>I vividly remember the first day of the second year of preschool when he turned to me from the first landing and said, "You can go away from my school now, Mommy."</p>
<p>His empathy now much improved, we intend to stay until the end of the Parents' Good-Bye program that Tulane so generously prepares for us at the end of the move-in weekend. He won't necessarily WANT to be hugged for three days straight, but I know he'll put up wth it ; ).</p>
<p>Dorms open on a Sunday; orientation program for freshmen begins on the Monday.</p>
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<p>If most of the other frosh are going to arrive that Sunday, and the dining hall will be open for dinner, then I'd start backing away pretty quick (or at least make alternate plans). I always found it very difficult to be around my new hallmates with my parents still there -- I'd find myself saying "But Mommmmmm..." in my old habit and then realize I was acting like a 9-year-old in front of my new classmates -- it's just easier in the long run to jump in instead of testing the water with your toe.</p>
<p>My DD attended a partial orientation during the summer prior to her freshman year - when it was time for move in - a 15 hour trip - each way for us - the families were around to get the kids settled in on move-in day and then were expected to be gone!!!!!</p>
<p>The freshman orientation - part 2 - started the next day - and was for the students only - there were social events - meeters/greeters - testing - last minute registration - meetings - dorm meetings and and and - these events were for the students - not for the parents - who were expected to vacate campus by sunday evening - maybe after dinner or something and the good byes.</p>
<p>I would check the paperwork/brochures for the schedule of orientation to somewhat gage the timing of your departure - or even give a call to the school - every school has a different way of working the drop-off and orientation for the new incomers.</p>
<p>Penn has one for parents....an I'm going! By then, they will have excavated several grand from my bank account, so I'll arrive hungry and thirsty......with baggies! :)</p>
<p>OOO sorry - the part 1 or orientation was for parents also - and yup them baggies will certainly help ya out alot - make sure you have one just for the hankies :(</p>
<p>ohhhh - I'm getting misty-eyed here reading all your stories (then I get to curmudge for a great giggle!). We took darling D along when we deposited her 2-yrs.-older brother a couple years ago. They are not particularly close, but I think it helped her see what she was in for in 2 years, plus get a sense of his upcoming life. Long drive, normal unpacking, meeting roomies, a few parent/student meetings, dinner, then school notes that fams should be on their way....</p>
<p>The big group good-bye outside his dorm....I am tearing up nicely, but not yet sobbing, as we turn toward parking lot (newfound friends are hanging out dorm windows, calling S back inside to join them, which was nice to hear) - suddenly I notice big, strong, stoic Hubby on a dead sprint to the passenger side of the car, leaving me to drive first (he says, to force me to stop crying). We get underway and I am now sobbing, squinting straight into the sunset, and fighting my vertigo tendencies on a windy 4-lane in the mountains when I hear Mr. No Emotion on my right dabbing eyes and sniffling away....what a pair.....then D's little voice from the back seat...."Do you guys think that X and Y (our dear next-door neighbors) might bring me to school when it's my turn??" I've been practicing my emotion control for a few weeks now, but the neighbors have teasingly started making their plans for D's school drop-off!!</p>