Ok, so I did not get accepted into my top school. This was very hard for me, but last summer I decided to focus on the positive experience college would be and what opportunities the college I ended up going to would provide. I am currently a freshman at a good school, and while it may not have been my first choice, I was excited to give it a chance. So far, I really like my classes, the element of school spirit, and the area surrounding the school, but I have no friends.
I have never had trouble making friends. I am very outgoing and was involved with many activities in high school, so I was not worried about meeting new people. I try to do many of the activities I enjoyed high school: I attend classes at the fitness center, I have signed up for many clubs of varied interests, and I have introduced myself to many new people (in my classes, in my dorm, at school activities, etc.) However, I cannot seem to make any friends. I’ve made some acquaintances, but the few times I’ve have hung out with them, I’m just like a “satellite friend” and don’t really fit in with the group. I find myself doing almost everything by myself. On the facebook group for the freshman class, I invited people if they wanted to go downtown and try a new restaurant, and while people liked my message, when it was time, no one really seemed that interested. My roommate has a large group of friends she knew already and is almost always with them. It seems as if many people retained their friend groups from high school or orientation and aren’t looking for new members. I haven’t given up on making friends, but it gets frustrating when I talk to my high school friends who have assimilated so easily.
For many reasons, I have considered transferring schools, but am not completely decided. I’m scared that I may not be able to make friends no matter where I go.
Does anyone have any advice?
P.S. My school is known for partying. I am not opposed to drinking or partying (although I haven’t attended any yet), but I do not vape or use drugs which isolates me from some circles.
This is normal! There are a bunch of threads on CC all saying the same thing about not having friends. It takes time! Sounds like you are on the right track to meet more people!
Don’t assume all others have friends. Take all those snapchat pictures of parties with a grain of salt. It has to be hard in the beginning but once you find a club or activity that meets regularly that may give you an opportunity to eat lunch or dinner with fellow members before or after the meeting. Also how big are your classes? For a smaller class, find a study partner or two. Talk to your RA about what they did to make friends. Spend time studying in public places so you can meet people. Hopefully your roommate is welcoming and you may find friends in that group. It will be ok.
Give it Time! Give it Time. You have barely started. It is hard to make friends during the initial adjustments. Those other peoples friend groups may not stick anyway. I know most of my friends no longer hang out with our initial groups. Friendly, yes, friends, no. But really, you have been in school for like three weeks? Two weeks? The friends will happen. I promise.
Keep doing what you are doing. Spread your wings and get out of your comfort zone. Consistency is key. Everyone is figuring it out right now. You will make friends
Yeah, I am a freshman. I am currently at an out-of-state state school. I received more scholarship than my parents and I were expecting, so cost isn’t really an issue with transferring. I am currently majoring in Biology.
Also, remember that most kids don’t get into their top choice. It’s interesting that you chose to open with that sentence. Are you possibly projecting a vibe that you had to settle by going to the college you are at?
No, Lindagaf, I am saying that while I may have originally been disappointed, I have since changed my outlook, so I do not think that I am projecting a negative vibe. That was the reason I included that piece of information.