<p>I have been at school for about 2 months now and I have made a group of friends I like to hang out with. They are all really nice, sweet girls and I like them a lot, but we don't have as much fun as I used to have with my friends in high school. When we hang out, it doesn't become the all out laugh fest that I always had when I hung out with my high school friends, even the ones I wasn't particularly close too.</p>
<p>I know I should be grateful that I made friends at all, and believe me I am, but is it ever going to be as fun as it was at home?</p>
<p>Maybe things will be better after the first semester is over? Please,I need all the advice I can get.</p>
<p>How long have you known these girls compared to how long you knew your high school friends? With your high school friends those all out laugh fests were because you shared some history, when you have known the girls from college longer you will laugh with them, believe me.</p>
<p>You probably knew your HS friends for years. You knew their families. You had years to share painful experiences as well as fun.It wasn't until I went home with some college friends on vacations that I experienced them as real friends. True friends take time to make, but at least you've semed to find some nice girls to be with</p>
<p>Let's see . . . On the one hand, you've got a group of people that you grew up with, that all lived in the same area and went to the same school for four years, and who sorted themselves out into friendship groups a long time ago (so that even the ones "you weren't particularly close to" were probably one or two groups over from your group, not people who were radically different). On the other hand, there's a group of people from different places who have been living in one place and going to the same school for 8 weeks, who probably share a lot of deep qualities but so far very few common experiences. </p>
<p>Which one are you going to feel closer to? Right now, it's no contest. You don't have real friends yet in college. No one does; it takes more than 8 weeks to become real friends. You have people who are pretending to be each other's friends, in the hope that someday they really will be. </p>
<p>I am confident that things will get better for you, although not necessarily right after first semester is over. All I can do is repeat two cliches about college, the first of which was true for me, and the second of which not so true for me but true for my (sophomore) daughter and many others:</p>
<p>(1) The closest friends of your life are often the friends you make in college. </p>
<p>(2) Many people spend their second and third semesters in college disentangling themselves from "friends" they made in the first few weeks of college in their dorms, who turn out to be less compatible than they seemed, and deepening relationships with different people whom they meet through shared activities and interests.</p>
<p>Let me ask this.. Why would you want it the "same"? </p>
<p>Part of the reason you go to college is to grow as a person, try new things, meet different people. Just cause things are alittle different, should that mean it's bad? </p>
<p>Also cherish the "differences", the differences are what will make each phase of your life special, rather than the same ol same ol.</p>
<p>You'll become better friends with them through time, and chances are you'll have a whole new group of friends by the time you graduate anyway. I met my core group of friends in college my freshmen year, but didn't become good friends with them until my second or third year. Now those friends are probably my greatest friends. I'm sure that you'll have a similar experience, as you will change a great deal in those 4 years!</p>
<p>Just give it time--30 some years after graduation, 2 of my very best friends in the world are college friends. In contrast, I gradually lost touch with my 2 best friends from high school with whom I was inseparable and spent hours on the phone with. This isn't to say you will give up your high school friends, but it's more common to keep those college friends forever.</p>
<p>jerseygirl, You're getting good advice here. My son felt the same way you did first semester of his freshman year. Now, as a sophomore, although he still loves his old friends from home, he is developing some really close friends at college--closer in some ways than his old friends, because they often share the same interests and career goals.</p>
<p>i could not imagine life without my best best friend at college. and although we met during the opening days freshman year and lived down the hall, trust me, it took TIME for us to get to where we are now. same goes for anyone in that super tight circle of friends at school. i'm still super close with my best friends from high school and from growing up, but it's a completely different relationship and i love having the two things.</p>
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Just give it time--30 some years after graduation, 2 of my very best friends in the world are college friends.
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My grandmother went to her 50th college reunion! I hope one day that will be me.</p>
<p>ITA with the other posters. What you are experiencing is entirely normal and most people feel like this at some point. You've only known these people for a few weeks. If you felt that your new college friends had completely replaced your high school friends, you wouldn't be much of a friend would you!</p>
<p>Jerseygirl, you're getting good advice here. My D is also a freshman and she's going through the same thing, and I've given her much of the same advice that you're getting here.
It takes time to establish deep friendships, after all you've probably known your high school friends for years.<br>
You'll become closer with your college friends as you have more shared experiences. This takes time, and I know my D would like to rush the process because she'd like to have the same comfort/closeness level with her new friends that she has with her high school friends.</p>