<p>i started school school in aug. and i was very exited because i had always wanted a fresh start and i thought it would be fun since i would be rooming with my best friend. turns out its been nothing like i thought. my friends boyfriend goes to school at the same school so she is never here. i thought it would be easy to make new friends but it seems that everyone already has their own cliques. if im not in class, im alone in my room. i live 2 1/2 hours from home and as soon as the weekend comes, i go home because i cant stand it here. i go to school in a very small town so its not like i can just go to the mall, because they dont have one. and people always say to join clubs but im not an outgoing person and i cant just show up somewhere by myself. i keep telling myself it will get better but its already almost the end of the semester and things are the same.</p>
<p>i am in the same situation as you. i couldn’t wait to get away from high school and start new, but it’s been kinda hard. I just went home last weekend lol and i live about 2.5 hours from school too. me and my roommate are cool, but i wouldn’t exactly call us friends just cause we are too different. And yea i see what your saying about everyone having their own cliques, it’s like no one is trying to make friends anymore. Everyone already hangs out with the same people and go out and stuff already. I mean i know some people, and if i see them we’ll small talk but that’s just about it. But yea the end of the semester is near, so I think you should just stick it out. i keep telling myself it will get better next semester because you should know what to expect. i think it was hard for us because we are in this new environment alone for the first time and didn’t know what to expect. So yea i think next semester is easier because the adjustment period is pretty much over and you’ll be more open to things now that you’ve been at school for a while.</p>
<p>Do you talk to people in your classes? Ever need to work on group projects or anything? Maybe ask someone if he or she wants to work on homework with you. </p>
<p>Would your roommate be willing to go to some club meetings or campus events with you if you asked? Even though she spends a lot of time with her boyfriend, I’m sure she would go to clubs and events or parties occasionally with you if you ask. </p>
<p>I know it’s tough to force yourself to take initiative to get out there and interact with people if you’re shy, but honestly, it’s something you’re going to have to try or else nothing is going to change. I hope this is obvious, but: you can’t meet new people if you’re holed up in your room all the time. </p>
<p>Oh, and try volunteering on a regular basis through a student organization. It gives you something to do and gives you opportunities to interact with other people. Most people who donate their time toward volunteering are friendly. There will be people there who don’t know each other, and it won’t be a big deal to show up alone because other people will probably show up by themselves as well. Plus, if nothing else, you’ll feel good about helping out those in need.</p>
<p>t3 ^^ hit the nail on the head. I’m a shy person too, but trust me, if all you do is sit in your room by yourself, nothing is going to change. Go to a group meeting or a performance or volunteer or an intramural team practice, anything, and force yourself to be outgoing. You don’t have to be bubbly and social 100% of the time, but you do need to do it at the beginning so that you can meet new people.</p>
<p>You could try finding an job, either on or off campus. At the very least, you’ll have something to take up your time and make a little bit of money, and you could potentially meet a whole new group of friends. Same with volunteering, except you won’t get money, obviously, but might be less of a commitment if you need time to do your schoolwork.</p>
<p>Also, try to stay out of your room as much as possible. Stay in public places, and eventually you’ll start seeing familiar people–say hi to them, and build up from there.</p>
<p>If you’re religious, you could try student ministries. They usually are very welcoming (but not always).</p>
<p>You can do it, though, but you’ll have to put in some initiative. I’m probably more introverted than you are, but I’ve made a couple of really good friends through the above methods, and you should give it a shot. You have nothing to lose by doing this, but you will lose everything if you mope in your dorm all day. I did that last year, annd I stayed miserable for the rest of the year.</p>
<p>Same with me. Let me describe my situation</p>
<p>basically i was expecting a typical dorm where, you know, theres 2 people per room, everyone leaves doors open, meet your floor, etc. boy was i wrong</p>
<p>2 of the 3 res halls on our campus are actually in the main campus and have traditional dorms. my dorm, the 3rd, is a suite style (used to be apartments, kind of like a motel) dorm 10 minutes off campus. they said before i got here that its antisocial because suitemates just talk between themselves, but some people said “its only like that if you make it so”. the suites have an internal living room and the rooms are not visble from the outside.</p>
<p>well, barely anyone here ever has their door open. when people pass you, they dont greet you. i give them a little smile when i walk past but get no response. we seriously havent even met the people next door to us. sometimes the guy next door will be opening his door as i walk past, and he just opens it them slams it shut. i swear to god, at any given moment, there might be 2 doors max open on our floor, and maybe 4-5 in the entire building</p>
<p>my actual roommate is rarely here, and when he is, we’re in the same room and dont even talk.</p>
<p>theres 2 guys in the other room. one is an asian guy who knows someone downstairs from HS and hes always out with him. the other is indian and ive gotten to know him pretty well. he has a large indian group of friends since indians can always find each other and he’s always out as well.</p>
<p>so we were supposed to “bond with our suitemates” which made it more antisocial, but i havent even gotten to know my own damn roommate.</p>
<p>we also live WITH the RA. he has an attatched single room. if i put music on on my speakers in the living room to try to get people to know we’re here, he tells me its too loud, so i have to turn it down so no one else can hear it. we have a small fuzzy tv i brought from home so we dont watch it, and we cant watch anything to get people to come in</p>
<p>no one here even watches sports. before a big game i look around the other rooms or the big screen in the lobby. no one is watching it, no windows/doors open, nothing. and if people ARE watching anything, they are doing it with their suitemates with the door closed. i can see inside the closed blinds (when theyre a little open)</p>
<p>meanwhile, the 20 people from my high school in the other regular dorm building have all met new people.</p>
<p>to top it all off, we dont have internet in our living room (even though there are ports there) and im not buying a wireless router just for me, so i have to do all my work secluded in my room and cant even do it in the open. i cant study with other people as i get too distracted.</p>
<p>no one even WALKS BY our damn door. the stairs are set up in a way that the rooms left to us have a staircase leading to them as do the right side ones</p>
<p>i would have gone to a damn community college if i would have known it would have been like this. why the hell should i be paying $12,000 a year for the dorms if i’m not making any connections/friends like dorms are supposed to give you?</p>
<p>^To be honest, that sounds rough. Is it possible for you to hang out with some of your high school friends in their dorms, so that you can meet some of the people who live over there? I’m pretty close with my floor here, but there are certainly people who don’t hang out with their floormates; instead they find friends in other dorms and hang elsewhere.</p>
<p>To any of the people having trouble making friends - do you go to the library or the student center to study? Sit next to people or ever have trouble with homework in class? There are a lot of ways you can reach out to people - just try to relax a bit.</p>
<p>“do you go to the library or the student center to study?”</p>
<p>Does that ever actually work? I’ve hung around at both a few times and ain’t nobody approaching me.</p>
<p>…Have you ever thought about approaching someone else? Or knocking on somebody’s door to introduce yourself? Friendship is a two-way street, you know :P</p>
<p>This is how I lived most of my high school, wondering why people didn’t talk to me! I realized it wasn’t because I was weird (maybe a little!) or shy, but because I don’t reach out. You probably don’t realize it, but you’re setting off signals that you aren’t very open to talking. </p>
<p>Try making the moves first. They don’t always have to come to your door! I suggest talking with everyone you meet, and saying hello. If someone has on a cute shirt, tell them. Suggest you hang out with people in your class. Ask if everyone in your living area wants to go grab breakfast or lunch. Most people are probably just as shy as you are. If you ask them to hang out, the worst thing that’s going to happen is they’ll say no… And then you will know that they’re probably crappy people anyways. :P</p>
<p>simpsonman, i totally get ur situation because i actually live in a suite style dorm also.
but i am in a club with my friend and thats been going well so far. i do talk to people in classes but thats pretty much the only place i communicate people. but the replies definetely helped and im going to follow the advice given.
kjr2010, sure makes me feel better to know its not only me dealing with the same situations. i hope college life for you gets better.</p>
<p>I’m in the same situation. I thought part of college was meeting new people and finding new friends but a lot of people came here with thier high school friends and I came with none. I’ve met a couple people at a club but they already have thier group of friends and I feel wierd asking them if they’re doing something and if I can join them.</p>
<p>College is whatever you want it to be.
Im at a school with the reputation of “boring” but I’m loving it here !
Many of my friends also tell me how college is boring for them.</p>
<p>I will tell you guys the harsh truth. If you don’t make an effort, you will not get the college experience !
For the first two weeks, I was being the shy old me. But then, I just force myself to be more social, outgoing, and talk to people. It would become natural. </p>
<p>People want to be friends with people who are fun and interesting. No one wants to be friends with depressed people
So don’t be awkward !Don’t feel weird or whatever! Be outgoing ! Be fun !
You have to be initiative to make friends :)</p>
<p>Same here. I feel that we come with an idea of what college is supposed to be because of what we see and heard. But in reality, a lot has changed since than and college seems like an adult version of H.S. Maybe this is just me.</p>
<p>Oh please give me a break with that ‘college is what you make of it’ BS. Sometimes you can try and people still show no interest in becoming your friend. I hate when everyone acts like if you’re having problems fitting in “it’s your fault because you’re not trying hard enough.” Why can’t it be the student body’s fault?</p>
<p>BTW, I totally agree with post 14. Yesterday, this girl walks into my room to talk to my roommate and said “OMG! I have some gossip to tell you.” Ugh…didn’t we leave that ‘he say, she say’ crap in H.S? Apparently not…</p>
<p>Maybe fitting in is not what your supposed to do. You could try showing the person who you are instead of pretending to be somebody else. Usually those who show who they really are, are the ones who have no problem making friends. I would say join an activity, and become involved with the school. Ask someone if they want to go watch a school game with you. Those are always fun:)</p>
<p>Hey hun!
My advice: Stay on campus!!
The weekends are the best part of college 
No classes or anything so everyone is going out someone, im sure there is a party some where! </p>
<p>I live 5 hours away from my college so I didnt have the option to go home on the weekends! Im extremely shy and rarely talk, but now I have some really good friends who make me go to parties 
and Im having a great time </p>
<p>Since finals are coming up email some people and study together! </p>
<p>Best of luck!</p>
<p>i agree with #15… i have tried to be friendly but its hard trying to fit in with people who already have their own friends… there was one girl who i was kinda cool with and every time i texted her asking if she wanted to hang out, she wouldnt text back… ive stayed on campus for a couple of weekends(inclluding this one) and since a have no friends, im alone the whole weekend… my “best friend” stays too but i never see her because shes either with her boyfriend or her new friend…
am i a sad depressed person just because i dont like the whole party scene? i dont drink so i dont go to them…
i never had trouble making friends in hs, but college, its been tough…
i just hope next semester goes better</p>
<p>also agree with post #14</p>