Friends

So I am a freshman in college and I have some friends, but not a lot. Primarily, it is me and one guy and one girl. Recently, I feel like the two of them are trying to cut me out and they keep doing things without me. Whenever I try to talk to them about how I am feeling, they say that what I am feeling is invalid, but that is not true. I know that they are always together and do stuff without me all the time and I try to not let it affect me, but recently it has been a lot. How should approach this situation?

By expanding your social circle.

Rule 1 (and, seriously, remember this if you become a parent): sooner or later, 3 pretty much always ends badly.

Even my introverted collegekid had several friend groups: a couple of friends in her dorm, several with whom she did her favorite EC, a couple of random people who became friends through classes, and ultimately her friends in her major.

Set yourself the goal of making friends with some in each of those groups. It is not uncommon for first years to find a couple of people right at the beginning and hold on tight- almost like a security blanket. But you are finding your feet now, and it’s time to broaden your horizons.

Fwiw, very often, spring of 1st year / autumn of 2nd year is when college students make the friends that really stick.

ps, we don’t have much to go on, but being told that your feelings are invalid doesn’t bode well for the friendship.

Any chance they have or are in the process of developing a romantic relationship? If this is the case they may just want to spend some time alone and for whatever reason aren’t ready to tell you of the changes in their relationship or they don’t have it figured out yet and are just exploring the possibility.

At any rate, the previous poster is spot-on. Mix around, shake it up, and grow your circle. Even if your two friends weren’t interested in being a 2-friendship, you need to make more friends. I always tell my own children to keep their friends fluid and vast so that if one friend group falls apart, they have another. Plus it’s just fun to have a variety of friends.

You’ll be fine. You can do this.

It may be a harsh truth, but the more you find happiness outside of this friendship, the more likely these two will want to spend more time with you again. If they did really care to keep the threesome close, they would have responded more favorably when you were first honest with them about your feelings. At this point, seeking them out or continuing to tell them about your feelings will just drive them to view you as clinging. Having to beg for attention is not a good position to be in! Ever! Being cheerful in passing, but busy with other things and a little distant for now may (or may not) reignite some interest from them (if you still want them back). Finding other interesting things to do with and without other people is the very best way to find authentic friendship. As the above posters said, find friends in a variety of different settings. They don’t all have to be close friends, but fit different parts of your life. That gives each friendship the breathing room it needs to be healthy.

I know, much harder said than done. I’m a friendly introvert myself…wanting good friendships and preferring a close-knit group…I have experienced this sort of thing in my life as well. This is the advice I would give “younger me” if I could go back forty years.

Ideas on how to expand your friend circle:
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1808143-having-trouble-adjusting-to-college-making-friends-top-10-things-to-do.html

Since you have already approached them about the situation and they have denied your accusations, I would simply find some other friends. It’s evident that you feel this way for a certain reason and you should never beg anyone for their time because if they wanted to spend time with you, they would. You’re young, you’re on a college campus, join some clubs, go to mixers, and talk to other people in your class. I’m positive you can find plenty of friends that way.

Are they romantically interested in each other? That’s going to make it hard for them to include you. Do as others suggest above and widen your circle.