<p>Our son (not an URM) has application statistics and a couple of unusual hooks that make him a competitive applicant for most colleges and universities. After some intensive independent research he decided one school was a terrific fit and offered an exciting challenge. He interviewed, applied, and has been accepted (unusually early) with a merit scholarship that covers tuition for four years.</p>
<p>My spouse and I are graduates of top five USN&WR schools and we have saved and told our son we would pay for the school of his choice. Perhaps we should have been more specific because we never imagined that his school of choice would be a second tier school. The criteria our son used to choose his school are very personal and unusual, and he makes a convincing case for the school he has selected, but it's hard for us to ignore the prestige factor as we feel, perhaps incorrectly, that the school name on our degrees has opened doors for us that would otherwise have been closed.</p>
<p>We've read about students applying to multiple schools and then choosing a lower ranked school over a higher ranked school because of a scholarship i.e. Rhodes over Yale, but we haven't read much about kids who are competitive at the most selective schools but opt to apply to a single safety school and forego all match and reach schools. We reared our son to be independent and are pleased that he thoroughly researched "fit" and ignored elitism. We support his decision and feel hypocritical in our unease with his well thought out and entirely respectable decision. We knew it was coming but we're nevertheless finding the transition from parenting a child to parenting an adult to be difficult and a bit abrupt.</p>
<p>Pat yourselves on the back. You obviously have done a great job raising your son. This is his life and it sounds like he is living it with a lot of thought and research.
If I were you I would sit back, relax and start looking at vacation websites (just in case you and the family want to take a nice trip before he heads off to college). </p>
<p>I can understand it. My dh didn't understand for the longest time why Carnegie Mellon was a better fit for son than Harvard. He felt better after he did a little research and MUCH better after he visited the campus and actually heard a presentation from the school of computer science. I think we all want the best for our kids, but sometimes that best isn't what the rest of the world would think is best. If he goes on to grad school that will be much more important for job placement than his undergrad years. Good luck to your son.</p>
<p>My 2007 freshman S was a similar experience on selection, although he did apply several places, but made the decision on HIS criteria. And, it is wonderful to behold how this has translated into quick adjustment and self-motivation in college. Not to mention the fact that he has essentially "paid his own way" by going the scholarship route.</p>
<p>I suggest that your son will be able to open all the doors that HE is interested in. You should be very proud. </p>
<p>BTW--this independence probably will extend to other matters, such as frequency of contact with home, course selection, what he does at holidays, etc. Get ready, but just read CC to see how some students can't seem to make the break and have a serious problem with the transition from child to young adult, as do the parents.</p>
<p>Be so proud that you have a son who has gotten through this process early, independently--and earned a large scholarship, too! Congrats to all of you. Take a nice vacation with the $ you saved. (I suspect many senior guys are still trying to figure out IF they want to go to college, and WHERE to apply--that's what my kid was doing in Oct. of his senior year). Enjoy a peaceful and stress-free fall.</p>
<p>Save the money for use at the top tier graduate school he will attend after sailing through the school he thinks is the perfect undergraduate fit. Congratulations!</p>
<p>My daughter is also attending her "safety" school with substantial scholarships. Although we still have to work to save what little we have to pay, we also committed to paying for enrichment opportunities that she finds. She'll be attending a week-long conference in Dubai next year, and we agreed to pay her airfare...not something that would have been possible if she had attended a school where scholarships were lacking. Next year, she is doing a semester study abroad in Zimbabwe...another opportunity only possible due to her scholarships. Perhaps you could make the same sort of offer to your son?</p>
<p>It does seem a bit abrupt in the sense that it's October and his college process is gloriously over. Are you feeling maybe a little underutilized--he's gone off and done magnificently on his own and it's already over?</p>
<p>For reasons other than planning, my son ended up at an in-state college that doesn't even make 2nd tier status for US News, though he had been a National Merit scholar and easily one admission to many top-50 LACs & universities. My son saw a notice at his college in the spring for a fall internship that seemed almost too good to be true, so almost on a whim he applied. This is a very prestigious, named program -- the college lists its past winners on the web site -- but only 1 student per year gets it. Students are brought in from all over the state; they get specialized training, 20 units of credit, a full tuition scholarship for the fall semester, room & board, plus a stipend -- and they have contact with well known national leaders in their field of interest. There are equivalent programs he could have gotten into at other colleges, but certainly none that would be better, and the label that goes with this one will open many doors that may not be there for a student who gets an equivalent internship without the aegis of the title of the sponsoring organization. </p>
<p>My son is totally amazed at the amazing people he has already met through this program, both in terms of the mentors the students are put in touch with and the students from other, equivalent colleges. </p>
<p>US News is a lot of hype. </p>
<p>Your kid will do best at a college he loves and where he can excel at whatever it is that he is interested in. He also is not necessarily limited by his first college -- if he feels he needs more at some point, he could transfer. My son is talking about grad school and with his GPA and this internship on his resume, he'll be able to get into any program he wants --so presumably even if the undergrad degree is a little shabby, he's likely to end up with a graduate degree from far more prestigious college. </p>
<p>It sounds like your son had very specific reasons for choosing this college with its unique program -- which to me sounds like a smart thing to do. </p>
<p>You know what I think is idiotic? To forego the specific, unique program offered by one college in favor of the "prestige" of a school that does not offer the program you are sure you want.</p>
<p>Similiar situation here 3 years ago. Well qualified S decided early on that our Big State U. was the place for him. He was accepted by Oct. also with full tution scholarship but it was from an outside source that he could have used anywhere. H and I wondered off and on over the course of senior year if he shouldn't explore more options (he did apply to two other big state u's.) We both went to big state u's too but didn't have the options that S had. S was adamant about his choice and so we left it up to him.</p>
<p>Three years later...couldn't be better. He's thriving, lots of friends, a leader of two different school groups, doing well academically but has plenty of challenge( i.e. 2nd tier Big State U. is not easy). Can't imagine himself anywhere else. </p>
<p>It sounds like your S has a well thought out plan and a scholarship to boot. Count your blessings and let him find his way.</p>
<p>Thank you all for sharing your stories. It's exciting to hear about the educational travel and internships opportunities that students discovered at their "safety" schools. Adad is right, we're feeling a bit superfluous, but it's a matter of perspective and at least we know our son has the skills and confidence to make his own way in the world and won't be directionless and living at home when he's thirty! :D Thanks again for sharing.</p>
<p>Similar situation here 1 1/2 years ago. DD was a very high achiever in high school, valedictorian of class of 450+ kids, etc. Did NOT want to stay in-state at all but did apply to State U as a safety. Was accepted to two top 25 schools as well as State U. We toured all three enthusiatically, especially the two "name" schools.</p>
<p>When it came time to choose, DD chose State U. In her usual way, she compiled a chart and ranked them in categories that were very important to her (and she had about 20 categories, so she really thought this all out). H and I were initially disappointed. I admit that H and I got caught up in the "ego" thing about wanting to be able to say that D was going to one of these big name programs. But it was HER choice, and we let her go where she felt in her heart she would be happiest.</p>
<p>Now, into her second year, D has obviously made the right decision. She is happy and academically challenged, which is all that we can ask for. Her younger brother, who is a senior this year, just got accepted to the same State U and will attend there next fall. It's worked out well.</p>
<p>Like others have said, pat yourselves on the back for raising a child that knows what he wants and isn't afraid to forge his own path! You've done well.</p>